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Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML

#21390758
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27124) - you deserved it (4541)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:24pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

luarasticks's comment : technically, the joke would still work with the classic rock, paper, scissors.

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Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

#21390746
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14195) - you deserved it (35993)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm - work - by Distracted (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

sarah5745's comment : Wow, YDI for sure.. How could you forget that?!

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Today, someone lost a support beam on the highway. My car found it. FML

Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML

#21390720
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31664) - you deserved it (1792)

On 04/09/2015 at 3:38pm - work - by PrettySureItsReal - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini bottom out of the box first, only to find a pubic hair stuck to the hygienic liner. FML

#21390617
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30391) - you deserved it (2009)

On 04/09/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by gross - United States (Michigan)

patrickalamo's comment : So are you thinking your boyfriend tried it on first?

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Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

#21390594
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26182) - you deserved it (3195)

On 04/09/2015 at 11:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn't screaming, she gave great advice like, "Stop at the red light" and "Don't crash into cars". I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML

#21390568
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26185) - you deserved it (2209)

On 04/09/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by fedupson - United States (California)

Today, at the restaurant I work at, my own mom refused to give a tip and complained to my boss. FML

#21390474
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30706) - you deserved it (3055)

On 04/09/2015 at 3:55am - work - by jackzz - Vietnam (Dac Lac)

Today, I overheard a large group of my friends and acquaintances making spontaneous plans to go see a movie that afternoon. I was the only person not invited. Normally I would have believed their excuse that they thought I was "sick at home", except I was sitting a few feet away the entire time. FML

#21390441
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27414) - you deserved it (2348)

On 04/09/2015 at 2:25am - misc - by ifeelsoloved (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was paired up with my long-term crush for a project. She introduced herself to me and asked if I was new this year. We've gone to the same school since kindergarten. FML

#21390271
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31392) - you deserved it (2981)

On 04/08/2015 at 9:58pm - love - by Heart-Broken - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML

#21390121
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29115) - you deserved it (3705)

On 04/08/2015 at 5:17pm - misc - by Notre_Dame_714 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

#21390086
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26096) - you deserved it (6778)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by righthook - United States



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