Today, it was my last day at my job. My team made a little party for me so they could wish me well and say goodbye, but when it came time for my manager to give a little speech, she couldn't even remember my name. I've been working there for two years. FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML
by sillymink / 08/19/2016 at 10:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
TenChubbyPandas's comment : There is no reason why your Aunts raised such a big stink about it.
by CyberPsycho / 08/19/2016 at 4:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health
InfiniteSunshine's comment : I'd report her/him, they're a pharmacist, they're supposed to remain professional and helpful. They should not be working in that field if they are going to be a judgmental jerk. Even if you weren't a virgin, the reasons you take birth control is your own damn busniess.
by You're Not a Wizard / 06/30/2016 at 8:29am / Work
Today, I was mowing my yard when I hit a small rock, which hit my shed. I got done mowing and realized that it wasn't a small rock, it was my son's toy plyers and it wasn't my shed, it was my car window, which had shattered on impact. FML
by yardswoman / 06/29/2016 at 7:01pm / Kids
Lalala579121's comment : I'm wondering how you mistook your car for your shed? Or even toy pliers for a rock?
by Anonymoose / 08/19/2016 at 4:06pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw a cute guy at the coffee shop reading a book. Wanting to be friendly, I smiled as I approached and asked what he was reading. He returned the smile and said, "Minding your damn business, by Fuck Off." FML
by nevaagain / 08/19/2016 at 4:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by Scared4Lf / 08/19/2016 at 2:10pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
by Daddy / 08/19/2016 at 10:55am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by AlexB / 08/19/2016 at 3:01am / United Kingdom (Blackpool) / Health
Today, someone drove into my car at an intersection and drove off. Luckily, I got the car's registration plate and called the cops on them. Turns out, it was my boyfriend's brother's girlfriend, who was illegally driving without a license. Now everyone's mad at me for getting her in trouble. FML
by Innocent / 08/18/2016 at 7:03pm / New Zealand / Transportation
Today, while working at my job at a lumber/hardware store, my coworker told me he was taking an hour break instead of the usual half-hour. Not only did he leave me with a store packed with customers on Customer Appreciation Day, but he never came back until closing time. FML