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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my exchange student asked me for a ride to a party at a friend's house that I didn't know about. When I said, "Oh, just let me change", she replied, "I just need the ride, you're not invited." FML

#21396492
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28787) - you deserved it (2663)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:46pm - misc - by me - Canada

c_wyld's comment : Tell her: "In this country, you drive, you party".

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Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

#21396485
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12749) - you deserved it (24901)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:39pm - love - by queenbitch - United States (Michigan)

amileah13's comment : Okay.... What's the point of flipping them off if they can't see you? Just saying

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Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

#21396226
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27359) - you deserved it (2831)

On 04/19/2015 at 1:09pm - animals - by woof? (woman) - United States (California)

xluciferx666's comment : Well maybe you should start barking and see if she tells the neighbors dog to shut up

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Today, my grandma told me point-blank that she despises gays, but that she'll go to my wedding for the booze and nothing more. FML

#21396211
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28877) - you deserved it (4165)

On 04/19/2015 at 12:34pm - love - by leonuniz (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

#21396178
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24922) - you deserved it (6578)

On 04/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML

#21396154
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28033) - you deserved it (2629)

On 04/19/2015 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out my best friend's girlfriend is cheating on him with his own brother. I went over to his place and told him everything while his girlfriend was in the same room. He called me a jealous liar who wanted to break them up, and kicked me out while she looked on, smirking. FML

#21396139
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28187) - you deserved it (2855)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:08am - misc - by Anunimos (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend with a serenade. After I finished, she told me she'd come over to tell me she'd found someone else and wanted to break up. FML

#21395896
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28124) - you deserved it (2801)

On 04/18/2015 at 9:03pm - love - by socialix - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML

#21395867
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27005) - you deserved it (2936)

On 04/18/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Armstrong (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered why my pet bird has been hiding behind my couch pillow lately. It's not because she was nesting, as I thought. She's been secretly tearing apart the whole couch from behind there instead. FML

#21395798
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23823) - you deserved it (3971)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:34pm - animals - by thisisnotavirustrustme.exe (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

#21395729
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26314) - you deserved it (9620)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

#21395685
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21370) - you deserved it (28246)

On 04/18/2015 at 10:38am - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

#21395572
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34881) - you deserved it (4549)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:01am - kids - by Anonymus (woman) - Sweden



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