Today, while at the airport with a cast on my leg, I fell backwards onto my suitcase. My family was too busy to notice my squirming as I tried to get up, so a kind woman awkwardly helped me off the ground. Later on, I found out my dad saw me but thought someone would help me "soon enough." FML
by kqwarrior / 06/26/2016 at 11:46pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by nick / 06/26/2016 at 11:44pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
cacheson's comment : Well, pigs can have 30 minute orgasms. She was probably trying to channel her inner sex demon.
Today, marks three days since I was supposed to follow the moving truck to my new home. Instead, I got super sick and my dad drove away without me. I've been laying on a dog cushion the entire weekend because my bed is 500 miles away. FML
by PlzSendBlankets / 06/26/2016 at 10:00pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
aGMAELSTR0M's comment : Dad: C'mon kid, it's time to make our way towards a new beginning! OP: *puking* Dad: *puts on shades* This truck stops for no man.
Today, I passed a cashier when I came into a store. Later I passed him again as I was leaving, and he asked me if I needed help finding something because I had been in the store for a while. I told him I had been browsing upstairs, but in reality, I had been in the restroom the whole time. FML
by girlsgottagotoo / 06/26/2016 at 4:52pm / United States (California) / Health
by Nyusziful / 06/26/2016 at 4:42pm / Hungary (Zala) / Miscellaneous
Today, due to a spate of burglaries, I updated the security on my house. Latches, locks, gates, I was very proud of my work, because it’s impossible to get in! Then, the front door slammed in my face. FML
by anonymous / 06/26/2016 at 4:18pm / United States (California) / Work
Felling's comment : No offense, but if your boss/employer sees you come into the store to report you are too sick to come in and work, you are fucked.
by Anonymous / 06/26/2016 at 1:45pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to politely nod and say "Ah okay..." as my grandpa told me that he's not racist; he just doesn't think it's right for black men to associate with white women. He's well aware that my boyfriend is black. FML
by Anonymous / 06/26/2016 at 9:12am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/26/2016 at 8:22am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, I told one of my coworkers that she looked really cute today. Later she sent an email to me and cc'd the entire office saying "It really makes me feel uncomfortable when you say things like that to me. And I shouldn't have to feel that way at work." FML
by Sfg_926 / 06/26/2016 at 1:02am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, my boyfriend invited me over to his house. I was planning on breaking up with him while at his house. Turns out, it was a proposal party. I'm now engaged because it would've been rude to say no in front of his family that had flown in. FML
by anonymous / 06/25/2016 at 11:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
- Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a…