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Today, it's been about 8 months since I moved into my studio flat. It was already furnished, there was no bed but a fancy bedseat from Ikea. I slept uncomfortably on it for months until I realised it pulls out to become a double bed. FML

#21521867
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14655) - you deserved it (9878)

On 02/01/2016 at 6:11pm - misc - by scottishoatmeal - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

ThatOneChick856's comment : You moved into a furnished apartment with seemingly no bed and didn't bother to check out the couch? Or ask the apartment owner?

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Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

#21521769
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18192) - you deserved it (4561)

On 02/01/2016 at 12:00pm - intimacy - by IsThisRealLife (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I visited my 90-year-old great-grandmother and her boyfriend. This wouldn't be a problem, if this boyfriend wasn't different than the one she had yesterday. She told me not to tell him about "the other one". FML

#21521764
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18327) - you deserved it (1392)

On 02/01/2016 at 11:37am - love - by anon (woman) - United States

wyleanda's comment : your great grandmother has a side man.

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Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

#21521749
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20169) - you deserved it (1867)

On 02/01/2016 at 10:54am - kids - by notsoproudfather - India (Maharashtra)

A07's comment : A good way to discourage him would be to spray chilli sauce on his hand when he's not looking, then sit back and enjoy the ensuring shitstorm.

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Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML

#21521652
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18233) - you deserved it (1231)

On 02/01/2016 at 1:07am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I flipped out with happiness over the new Barbies. I want to buy one. I'm almost 26. FML

#21521595
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15462) - you deserved it (5700)

On 01/31/2016 at 10:27pm - misc - by barbieissocute (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents have deliberately ruined my last 2 relationships, because they want me to get back together with my ex simply because he is my son's dad. Apparently, my son needs his father more than I need a man who won't beat me every time he gets drunk. FML

#21521515
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26423) - you deserved it (1561)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:38pm - work - by anon (woman) - United States

Today, I've been calling my pet snake "Mr. Snake" for two years now. I decided to look up the name, and boy do I regret it. It turns out Mr. Snake is a porn site. I've named my snake after porn and have been introducing him to family with that name for two years. FML

#21521480
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16294) - you deserved it (3963)

On 01/31/2016 at 2:32pm - animals - by GeeLoftus - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my grandmother yet again asked where my grandfather is. She refuses to believe us when we tell her that he passed away 6 years ago. She always insists that he's out cheating on her and accuses us of lying to cover his arse. FML

#21521394
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (1323)

On 01/31/2016 at 7:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Torfaen)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my sister shaving, naked. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've now seen her nude, or that she looks ten times better than any girl I've ever slept with. FML

#21521379
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22246) - you deserved it (4921)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I told my grandpa that I want to join the police force. His response: "You wanna lynch some blacks without the jail time, eh?" FML

#21521366
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19537) - you deserved it (2164)

On 01/31/2016 at 3:13am - work - by onlyjuggalos (man) - United States

Today, I confronted my husband about a pair of panties I found in his office. They're his. He put them on to show me that they fit. FML

Today, my dad decided I was too hairy and taught me to shave. This would be a great bonding experience if I weren't a girl. FML

#21521208
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19405) - you deserved it (2078)

On 01/30/2016 at 4:54pm - misc - by Anonymous -



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