Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML
by Screamslikeagirl / 09/27/2016 at 3:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a week of rejoicing that my petty, passive-aggressive, bullying neighbours were moving away, I came home to find the "to let" board had been outside the wrong house the whole time. It's actually the people I really like who are moving away. FML
by Jade / 10/15/2016 at 7:22am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Miscellaneous
by unluckysamaritan / 10/15/2016 at 4:51am / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML
by Neckbruise101 / 10/15/2016 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Work
Today, while commuting to work on a peak hour train, I lost my balance and accidentally grabbed a bald mans head to steady myself. To make matters worse, the words "oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a knob" came out of my mouth before I could think about what I was saying. FML
by ShameMonkey / 09/27/2016 at 6:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
by faeliality / 10/15/2016 at 1:54am / United States / Miscellaneous
by blue15564 / 09/26/2016 at 5:52pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by jessiluvxx / 09/25/2016 at 5:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
vreid's comment : I smell a large lawsuit giving you enough cash to send your newborn to college! Congratulations on the baby!
by comeonnow / 09/25/2016 at 2:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
sillymama's comment : Ummm. No. Your moms boss hit your car. They need to be accountable for that.
by Anonymous / 09/25/2016 at 8:11am / United States (Virginia) / Love
gobiteme2's comment : Hi my name is John and I don't care.
by Rizmo / 09/25/2016 at 3:11am / United States (Utah) / Kids
Today, I went in for an audition. Since my wrist had been in a brace all week, I felt I would be fine without it for one day because I didn't want it to be a distraction. I tripped in the middle of the dance routine and crashed on top of my injured wrist. FML
by Braceyourself / 09/25/2016 at 1:44am / United States (California) / Health
Today, after finally deciding to push past my extreme shyness, I talked to the person beside me in class. I was so nervous that when I went to take a sip of my coffee, it slipped out of my hand and splashed all over both of us. Not only did I ruin her white dress, but I also gave her mild burns. FML
by 242795 / 09/24/2016 at 2:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
- Today I got a question from a guest at work. I work as a scenic tour pilot and our airplanes have a… Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog… Today, I was talking to a boy I'm interested in and tried to make conversation while taking a sip…