By Lunar-Spice - 16/12/2020 04:54 - United States - Midlothian Teddy is always there for you Today, and for the past month, I'm so lonely that I fall asleep holding my teddy bear's paw for comfort. FML I agree, your life sucks 632 You deserved it 69 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 08:02 Take care Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1177 You deserved it 88 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 05:02 - Germany - Emden Triage Today, I realised that Gmail has been sending lots of important messages directly into the spam folder, where I never saw them. All were from people who I had either contacted myself, or had regular contact with in the past. One address even had a filter on it, specifying, "Never send it to spam." FML I agree, your life sucks 1006 You deserved it 108 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 01:57 I mean… Today, I finally noticed that my new coworker, with whom I have to share an office, starts every sentence with, "I mean…", then a pause, then says whatever he has to say. I can't un-notice it now, and it's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. FML I agree, your life sucks 793 You deserved it 74 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 16:58 - United States - Mechanicsburg Contact tracing Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML I agree, your life sucks 839 You deserved it 210 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 20:01 Reverse Uno Today, while trying to be sexy for my fiancé by going to change his background photo to a naughty pic of myself, I found out he's been actively cheating on me. For almost a year, with multiple women. When confronted, he tried telling how hard me finding out was for HIM. FML I agree, your life sucks 1197 You deserved it 111 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dazedandconfused - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States Happy Holidays! Today, everyone from my job showed up for work because our boss demanded that we have a team meeting before half of the company leaves for the holidays. Everyone showed up except my boss, who is apparently already in Hawaii vacationing until New Year's. FML I agree, your life sucks 9595 You deserved it 568 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 16:58 Sounds like a catch Today, the momma's boy I was getting to know cried when I said we should just be friends. He said I was being added to the list of people who treat him like shit and verbally abuse him. He has bad hygiene, musty, wears dirty clothes and I taught him how to properly clean a toilet. But I’m the bitch. FML I agree, your life sucks 900 You deserved it 81 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alex - 15/12/2020 13:58 Booty non-call Today, my girl sent me a naked booty pic, telling me not to be late home. When I got home, she was in dirty old sweatpants, too upset for sex because her celebrity crush died. Not in real life, in one of the TV shows she's watching. FML I agree, your life sucks 1123 You deserved it 166 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 05:01 - United States - Tilton Love is a battlefield Today, after I finally got up the courage to open myself up to someone new after going through a brutal divorce, it was going great until he went back to his ex. FML I agree, your life sucks 752 You deserved it 48 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 02:04 - United States - White Plains Bad day Today, I woke up feeling like I was on top of the world, until I got to work and I was demoted. Then I ordered Uber Eats for lunch, the driver was late and gave me the wrong meal. The worst part was when I got home and was dumped by my girlfriend via text. FML I agree, your life sucks 1216 You deserved it 64 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/12/2020 22:58 - United States Family matters Today, I met this girl who's perfect. Turns out, since I'm adopted, she might be my sister. FML I agree, your life sucks 843 You deserved it 83 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 02:02 Overreaction much? Today, I accidentally washed the jacket my mother bought me in the washing machine. I didn't know it was supposed to be dry cleaned. My mother ended up crying and screaming that I don't love her, and this would be the last time she ever buys me anything. FML I agree, your life sucks 828 You deserved it 255 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/12/2020 17:58 - Canada - Moncton Thanks, babe Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML I agree, your life sucks 830 You deserved it 94 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Joshua Diamond - 14/12/2020 19:02 - United Kingdom Ed Sheeran-lite Today, I phoned my ex, who I only broke up with a week ago. I then told her about the song I'd written about her. I have written a song, but it is shite and I would die of embarrassment if I ever had to play it to her. I’ll have to play it to her and confess my simpy, wet ways. FML I agree, your life sucks 163 You deserved it 1586 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Etherealskye1023 - 14/12/2020 11:01 - United States - Douglassville Great parenting, dude Today, my dad told me that I'm nothing but a burden because I can't work, and disability is worth nothing. It's not my fault I ended up in an abusive foster home that left me with spinal cord damage. FML I agree, your life sucks 1221 You deserved it 231 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lucas - 14/12/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom Smells like victory Today, during oral sex, my wife squirted, which she’s never done before, and I was so surprised I accidentally breathed it straight up my nose. It’s been 3 hours and it’s still all I can smell FML I agree, your life sucks 933 You deserved it 291 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rebecca Palermo - 14/12/2020 11:03 Beggars can be choosers Today, I saw a girl asking for money on the median of an entrance to a parking lot with her dog. Later, I bought a box of dog treats for her. I drove up and handed it to her. She rolled her eyes and said, "How the hell am I supposed to carry that?" I sat there in stunned disbelief with the box she refused to take. FML I agree, your life sucks 822 You deserved it 167 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I miss bread - 14/12/2020 17:04 - Australia - Brisbane Pile on Today, I found out I'm going to be celebrating New Year's with a gastroscopy and colonoscopy. It's been two days since I discovered I'm gluten intolerant to go with my lactose intolerance. It's also my 28th birthday tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 797 You deserved it 68 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Homeless for the holidays - 13/12/2020 22:58 - United States - Farmington Pyrotechnics Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML I agree, your life sucks 992 You deserved it 95 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/12/2020 18:57 - Mexico - Garza Garcia Bye then! Today, while on holiday. I got a call to let me know my job will be gone away when I return. FML I agree, your life sucks 851 You deserved it 53 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/12/2020 17:01 - United States - Pittsburgh Stinky Today, I realized that my flatmate showers so little that the furniture she uses smells like BO. FML I agree, your life sucks 880 You deserved it 61 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Blue Lemon - 13/12/2020 20:01 Assumptions Today, I was at a job interview and thought the guy interviewing me was a bit of a perv because he kept staring down at my cleavage. Afterwards, I realised what he was really looking at: the wire in my bra had popped out and had been poking right through my shirt like a dagger. FML I agree, your life sucks 984 You deserved it 198 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/12/2020 10:58 - United States Snowflakes Today, I bumped my head on a tool box. When it happened, I yelled, "Fuck." I got fired from my job for cussing. FML I agree, your life sucks 898 You deserved it 211 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blah! - 13/12/2020 14:01 Unionize Today, I found out I'm pregnant, after quitting my job because they asked us to work for free due to COVID. So because I quit, I'm no longer eligible for maternity leave. I didn’t know that I was 4 months pregnant. I could've just gotten a doctor's note for medical reasons. FML I agree, your life sucks 884 You deserved it 391 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/12/2020 05:02 - United States - Pittsburgh Hedging your bets Today, I realized I've been avoiding a doctor's visit for issues, because it might be less painful to go out that way than to see how much more a crapshoot 2021 would be. FML I agree, your life sucks 629 You deserved it 145 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ash - 13/12/2020 07:02 - United Kingdom Sex ban Today, my girlfriend got mad at me because I failed to notice I’ve been on a sex ban as punishment for upsetting her mother 3 weeks ago. Three weeks isn’t even our longest no sex period; we’ve gone months without sex before for no good reason, so is it any wonder I didn’t notice after only 3 weeks? FML I agree, your life sucks 1067 You deserved it 259 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 23:01 - United States - Wilmington Home Improvement Today, I heard what sounded like an explosion from the basement of my house. Turns out my foundation cracked. FML I agree, your life sucks 860 You deserved it 35 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lyle - 13/12/2020 01:07 - United Kingdom Fundies say the darndest things Today, after my father in law upset my 6-year-old son by telling him creating a world in Minecraft is a sin, because only god is allowed to create worlds so all Minecraft players will burn in hell one day, it's been 5 days since he's slept right because he’s scared the Devil will burn him if he falls asleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 1231 You deserved it 83 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 17:01 - United States - Kalamazoo I'm worth it Today, I realized after seeing my ex in his new relationship that he does everything for her that I always wanted him to do for me. Sucks not being worth it. FML I agree, your life sucks 996 You deserved it 149 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today my therapist tells me to keep a list of things I am thankful for. The only thing I can come up with, that I am genuinely thankful for, is the fact... I agree, your life sucks 0 You deserved it 0 0 Comments
Today, I arranged for the President to give a speech in Alamo, Texas. His advance crew instead notified The Alamo in San Antonio, Texas to set up the event.... I agree, your life sucks 42 You deserved it 21 1 Comments
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 485 You deserved it 114 6 Comments
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 957 You deserved it 49 6 Comments