Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to convince my parents to shut the door when they have sex. They have done this on multiple occasions. FML

#21519030
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19830) - you deserved it (1388)

On 01/24/2016 at 8:04pm - misc - by helloimkylieee (woman) - United States (California)

Anti_Sora's comment : Why would you need to tell your parents that? They should know they should do that.

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Today, a woman yelled at me for hurting her. I'm a tattoo artist. FML

#21519024
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20721) - you deserved it (1522)

On 01/24/2016 at 7:57pm - work - by thrill house - Australia (Victoria)

jen1097's comment : You should have put down the tattoo gun and just stared at her for a few minutes before saying "now, do you know what a tattoo is?"

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Today, I was shovelling snow out of my driveway and broke my shovel. So I tried cleaning the driveway with a garbage lid. That broke too. Now I'm out snow shovel, AND a garbage lid. FML

#21518975
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17239) - you deserved it (4328)

On 01/24/2016 at 5:21pm - misc - by Snowman (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after not going out in over a year, I finally agreed to go out with some friends. I had a lot of fun and was very happy, up until when I was on my way back home and I noticed my car's sunroof had been stolen. FML

l4urenz's comment : How do you even steal a sunroof? haha

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Today, it was the first day in my life that I fell into a toilet because someone left the toilet seat up. I'm a guy. FML

#21518877
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16361) - you deserved it (5904)

On 01/24/2016 at 12:47pm - misc - by lookwhereyasittin - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa. The pain was so crippling, I fell over screaming. His response? "Quit your bitching, I had my kneecaps blown off in Vietnam. They had to stitch 'em back on." He's never been to Vietnam, or even out of the country. FML

#21518868
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23985) - you deserved it (1914)

On 01/24/2016 at 12:10pm - health - by fuckoffgramps (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, somebody kicked the crap out of my car and spray painted "CHEATER" on the sides. I've never even had a girlfriend. FML

#21518846
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23430) - you deserved it (1259)

On 01/24/2016 at 10:54am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad wanted to show me a cool camera he saw on Amazon yesterday, so I let him use my laptop to find it. I realized too late that I'd forgotten to clear my browsing history. The suggested purchases section was filled with dildos and lube. He definitely noticed. FML

#21518840
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17380) - you deserved it (7200)

On 01/24/2016 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out my family refers to my room as "the virgin cave". FML

#21518755
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21486) - you deserved it (2569)

On 01/24/2016 at 12:40am - misc - by Dexter_39476 (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, just 1 month after giving me a bracelet with an infinity symbol on it for Christmas, my boyfriend of three years ended everything out of the blue. That was a short infinity. FML

#21518660
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21565) - you deserved it (1653)

On 01/23/2016 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I crashed my car into a bridge, while playing a song with the line, "I crashed my car into a bridge". FML

#21518597
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19906) - you deserved it (5199)

On 01/23/2016 at 3:48pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog once again desperately tried to yank me straight into the path of a bus. FML

#21518472
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19986) - you deserved it (1961)

On 01/23/2016 at 6:26am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML

#21518464
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20188) - you deserved it (1488)

On 01/23/2016 at 5:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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