Today, my class and I were discussing our country's relationship with other countries. One person stated that the French have never done anything for us. A classmate took that moment to chime in and ask, "I thought the French gave us that giant statue of the Mona Lisa?" He was dead serious. FML

by crazymentalblond / 11/17/2016 at 6:47am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Elielili's comment : They only gave the US their liberty, nothing much really

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Today, despite feeling healthier than ever, losing fat, gaining muscle and having perfect blood results, my morbidly obese relatives keep telling me that my new vegan diet is "unhealthy". FML

by ribx / 11/17/2016 at 6:24am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Health

kirasant's comment : I'm about as far from vegan as is possible, and I'm 100% on your side. If it works for you, it works for you. End of discussion. Ignore them, eat your soy, and enjoy your health.

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Today, I am starting a new job. Only problem is, I haven't been told what my duties are, who my line manager is or who to ask if I need help. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2016 at 8:29pm / Work

Today, I was in the city newspaper for something I worked my ass off on. There was a picture of me working on my creation in the article with a caption, something like, "Chloe B, part of the robotics team." My name isn't Chloe, and I talked to the article writers. I haven't heard back at all. FML

by rainbowlack / 11/16/2016 at 7:53pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking to a bathroom on campus before class when my professor walked in behind me. There were two urinals in the bathroom, we walked right up next to each other and unzipped our pants in unison. It became so awkward for me, I actually said out loud, "Nope, too awkward" and left. FML

by beetregeneration / 11/16/2016 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my dad told my mom to only drop off my sister for Thanksgiving and not me. Guess I was wrong about him wanting to work on our relationship. FML

by num1piglover / 11/16/2016 at 5:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Holidays

Today, I walked into a mirror in a shop. No one would have known had my face not stayed printed on it due to my make-up. FML

by aveugle / 04/09/2011 at 7:28am / Turquie (Istanbul)

Today, my mum called me at work in hysterics, saying she had just been arrested and that I needed to get her dog from her house. I had no idea why she was arrested. I hear nothing from her until 1 a.m. when she calls, waking me up. The first words out of her mouth are, "How's the dog?" FML

Baustigt's comment : "You can ask him yourself, ma." *hands phone to dog* "Well I'm fuckin' pissed off, Marge."

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Today, I asked the guy I share a desk with at work out because he has texted me a few times and seemed pretty into me. He said he doesn't date coworkers, even though the last 5 people he's dated have been coworkers. FML

by princessrose / 11/16/2016 at 6:05am / Love

Today, I’m an intern and was given a pile of files. Do I have to process them? Nay! Simply remove all the staples with nothing but my nails. FML

by SuperStagiaire / 06/14/2011 at 10:54pm / India (Maharashtra)

Today, I found a great parking spot but I wasn't sure if it was restricted by any means or of I could just park there for free. I asked a police officer walking by and he told me it was alright, only to come back 4 hours later to find a ticket on my windshield. FML

MixMastaKDizzle's comment about their FML

Today, I got a text from someone I met last night at a bar. We texted all day and planned to meet up later. The whole time I had in my mind who he was, but when we met up it was someone completely different that I didn't remember. I had to sit through the whole date pretending I knew him. FML

by MixMastaKDizzle / 09/23/2013 at 4:23am / United States (Colorado)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

MixMastaKDizzle

Uhh no. You don't know the full story so don't jump to conclusions. I live in a tiny mountain town, and the guy I gave my number to I had seen many ti...
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Today, whilst taking a shower, I noticed my razor wasn't in its usual spot. Upon inspecting it closer, I noticed that there were tiny white hairs in it. When confronting my father about it, he claimed the "pink razors" are his. We've been sharing the same razor this entire time. FML

by pinkrazorsare4men / 11/15/2016 at 7:51pm / Miscellaneous