Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44355) - you deserved it (5079)
On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)
Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38020) - you deserved it (8653)
On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
↑ pwnman's comment : I did not Nazi that coming, nor you did.
Today, I discovered that the laser disc player I used to have was not in fact a laser disc player but a Pioneer Laseractive. Broken ones sell on eBay for $200 and working ones sell for around $1000. I sold a working one for less than $100-worth of credit at a second-hand store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32712) - you deserved it (15433)
On 04/02/2014 at 4:20am - misc - by Sad Nerd (man) - United States (Arizona)
↑ SerenaSerenadex3's comment : You should have done your homework first OP! They rip everyone off with the trade in credit.
Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37711) - you deserved it (5275)
On 04/02/2014 at 4:16am - kids - by IcyWinter - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37967) - you deserved it (5413)
On 04/02/2014 at 4:13am - misc - by Why (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I have pink eye. Four weeks ago I had scabies. I'm an elementary school teacher, and I'm apparently under attack from biological weapons: my students. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35713) - you deserved it (3390)
On 04/01/2014 at 10:21pm - kids - by YellowKettleBell (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36796) - you deserved it (3717)
On 04/01/2014 at 8:02pm - love - by that kind of girl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41374) - you deserved it (4729)
On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland
Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35573) - you deserved it (9476)
On 04/01/2014 at 3:21pm - love - by someone (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, disappointed with my results on a mathematics test, I went over it and realized my teacher had added up the marks incorrectly, leaving me with 17% less than I earned. The person who's supposed to be teaching me math can't even perform basic arithmetic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38239) - you deserved it (3253)
On 04/01/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44603) - you deserved it (5120)
On 04/01/2014 at 2:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36488) - you deserved it (27527)
On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my neighbor yelled at me because, according to him, the sound of me scraping the ice off my windshield wakes him up every morning. This is the same neighbor who ran over my mailbox last week because there was too much snow on his windows to see properly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37308) - you deserved it (2354)
On 03/31/2014 at 10:03pm - misc - by IcyWindows - United States (Utah)
Friday 18 April 2014
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↑ shorty6823's comment : I feel bad, but that's a bit of karma. A bit more than he bargained for, but still.
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