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Today, after weeks of oral pain and hundreds of dollars in dentistry fees, we found the culprit: a popcorn kernel that floss was unable to remove. FML

Today, one of the guys I work with ran his finger down the back of my shirt and said, "Just checking to see if you're wearing a bra today". FML

DramaticEmily's comment : Punch him in the crotch and say you were checking for a cup.

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Today, after several months of eating right, exercising, and weight loss, my mother has yet again arrived at my house, unannounced and with a very sugary cake. She's been doing this most weeks since I lost 50 pounds. FML

#21373752
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29062) - you deserved it (2086)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:02am - health - by Anonymous - United States

haileyrows's comment : Doesn't sound like your mom's being very sweet

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Today, I found out that the reason I didn't get the job that I have been working my butt off for over a year for is because they can't find anybody who can do my current job as good as me. I am too good to be promoted. FML

#21373611
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34197) - you deserved it (2516)

On 03/13/2015 at 2:21am - work - by hard work doesn't work - United States (Texas)

ZoroMiHawk's comment : Can't you offer to train the chosen candidate for a number of weeks?

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Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

#21373551
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28364) - you deserved it (3864)

On 03/13/2015 at 12:19am - health - by numbtongue - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML

#21373531
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27047) - you deserved it (2980)

On 03/12/2015 at 11:55pm - animals - by psh_idontbite (woman) - United States

Today, I was so hungry when I finished work that I grabbed some chips to eat on the bus home. The guy who sat next to me spat in them as he left to get off. FML

#21373490
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29363) - you deserved it (2517)

On 03/12/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Metallurge - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, in my online class I accidentally unmuted my mic. Normally that would be fine except today I decided to serenade myself with a silly song. I didn't realize until everyone started clapping at the end of the song. FML

#21373396
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27371) - you deserved it (6276)

On 03/12/2015 at 8:39pm - misc - by acapelladisaster - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mother in law accidentally cc'd me on an email she was sending to my husband, telling him that his youth is fleeting and that he should leave me while he still has time. FML

#21373326
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29336) - you deserved it (1855)

On 03/12/2015 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a phone call from the counselor at my son's preschool, requesting that I come pick him up. He was barking incessantly at his classmates. And when they asked him to stop, he growled. FML

Today, it is the one-year anniversary of my mother's death. It's also the day my father chose to announce his engagement to the whole family. FML

#21373156
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36168) - you deserved it (2355)

On 03/12/2015 at 2:03pm - misc - by EnglandRocks - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, my boss told me I got my new job because she rejected candidates that seemed "too confident" or "too pretty." FML

#21373118
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28204) - you deserved it (2278)

On 03/12/2015 at 12:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML



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  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

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