Today, I realized I’ve become an old woman. I have dentures, wear bifocal glasses, have rheumatoid arthritis, carry a stash of candy in my purse, and got excited when I bought a new potato peeler. I’m only 29, but I’m an old woman. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have dentures, wear bifocal glasses, and was recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I must be pretty old, right? Wrong. I’m 28. FML
Today, according to my wife of 30 years, I'm finally old enough that I look, smell, sound and act like my father. FML
Today, I took a pretty nasty fall on the ice and made noises similar to the ones my dad makes when he's in pain. I am officially becoming old. FML
Today, I’m at that glorious age where I have to pull apart my wrinkles to get at the zits hiding inside. FML
Today, I'm a 20 year-old guy, and my 52 year-old mom has aged really well and looks around the same age as me. Meanwhile, I'm aging poorly and fear that I may soon look as old as she actually is. FML
Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML
Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML
Today, I’m a 32 year-old man with a wife, a dog, and 2 kids. I still pick my boogers and eat them, and have no plans to stop anytime soon. FML
Today, at the age of 30, I was diagnosed with both sciatica and ADHD. I don't know whether to feel really old, or really young. FML
Today, despite being 22 and having near-perfect dental hygiene, I was diagnosed with receding gums and can only eat soft food for the rest of my life. Then the dentist told me that this typically only happens to people over fifty who don’t take care of their teeth. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Yudith 28
Now you can give advice on all the youngsters out there, wear long johns and comfy clothes, ask young men for help, garden, and feed pigeons. Not bad. Let's hope doctors can treat your arthritis correctly.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (1)
Yudith 28
Now you can give advice on all the youngsters out there, wear long johns and comfy clothes, ask young men for help, garden, and feed pigeons. Not bad. Let's hope doctors can treat your arthritis correctly.