Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at my job as a hotel housekeeper, I accidentally entered the room of someone who hadn't left yet. To my horror, the man inside was having a massive heart attack. I just found out he passed away, despite immediate medical intervention. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Today, at my job in a funeral home, I was transferring a body off a stretcher when it exhaled its last breath. Right into my face. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
Today, while working at my job at a nursing home, I slipped and fell. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just water. No, one of the residents had just had an "accident". FML
Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML
Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Silent, but deadly.
Thorvald22 17
Good god man what did you eat?
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Comments (133)
Thorvald22 17
Good god man what did you eat?
PIGaming 21
Thats why you never take magical beans from a stranger...
PenguinBitch 44
@1. Some roast beef, some chicken, some pizza...
TheCrispyCat 20
heheh I get it
Soloman212 28
No, I mean just this morning.
Pleonasm 36
Deaaauuuaaugugh!
ballerboy20 8
beans beans the magical fruit. the more you eat the more you poot. the more you poot the more...people die?
Rcmpbell 6
#29 Some roast beef some chicken a pizza
wannabeactress71 8
What is wrong with you people?! Afraid to look ugliness in the face? Well, here!! Look at it! It's ugly, isn't it?! Here! You look at it! LOOK AT IT!
maggiefox 25
HA. Austin Powers.
pinkgal2129 8
HE'S A MURDER!
tbro47 23
Gotta love the spongebob references in this post
HockeyGirlLover 7
Totally agree
_iquitlife_ 10
hope you get hit by a mad cow
bomzo 22
i think god was more involved in this then that lol
lilmissish 6
"It" was a person. Not a thing a person. I get that this is funny. which is is. But if you're referring to the one who passed away please use the correct term.
BrotherPhil 35
It must be an accent thing. It's actually spelled "than".
iVeee 6
Why does everyone assume OP(me) is a male?
Welshite 40
Silent, but deadly.
masterof1 7
Thats horrible.
HersheySquirts 17
Yea, I feel sorry for the old fart that died.
cakefete2 31
That comment with your username is priceless.
BvbArmy_0 18
Oh my god thats brilliant
SirMichael 13
"let a huge one rip" doesn't sound silent.
heartslb 8
Such an appropriate comment ?
zach205 24
taking silent but deadly to a new level
extrasnipes 22
Well actually I believe he just brought it to the orignial level
drewflav 17
"I'd rather die than have to smell your horrendous farts"
IllestRated 17
I think not
LostInTheZone11 29
Talk about deadly gas.
hamzor 5
R.I.P with OP's rip :(
gracehi 33
You could be a super villain! Dr Flatulence!
cakefete2 31
There are better villain names for that power. The Gas Mask, Silent Knight, Super Pooper, or Mister Skids just to name a few
Pleonasm 36
The ShartBreak Kid?
stevenN659 24
shouldnt it be Master Skids?
gramirez23 9
The shitanator
flamedragon2525 11
You just did not.... XD X.X *dead*
martin998877 12
Methane poisoning. A well known killer of the elderly and infirm. A good job they don't have a canary as a pet or it would have died too.
lou9896 5
just wow innapprops man
askullnamedbilly 33
Yes. Coincidence. Maybe have a bit of respect for the patient who died, instead of posting fart jokes about the circumstances of their death on the internet.
PresidentNorth 16
Took this one a little to personal.
askullnamedbilly 33
Really? A person just died, and he decided to make a fart joke about it. That was probably someone's spouse, parent or grandparent. There's a lot of joking material in hospitals or nursing homes, but death shouldn't be one of them.
rocker_chick105 31
I don't think you're fit to be on FML...
Soloman212 28
No, he has a point. I'm sure that the family and friends of this poor old man suddenly feel the painful stabbing at their hearts of an Internet fart joke. Even though it's completely anonymous, the effects are still there. "What is it mother?" "The FML community isn't respecting my father's death! I can just feel it!"
Pleonasm 36
"Oh-- No sorry, that was just me, mother. I thought you wouldn't smell it."
onealmxwilson 18
I'm with 11, death shouldn't be joked about. Thumb me down all you want.
JBChristian 47
Fart joke? I think OP felt horrible about farting and that it may have been the cause of the patient/resident's death, hence why OP posted it on FML. FML is where people generally go to express FMLs, not jokes, and then you have the FML community to crack the jokes.
SMHsohard 22
Got news for you #65; health care professionals make all sorts of inappropriate jokes, all the time. It's how we deal with looking disease and death in the face on a daily basis, while maintaining our sanity. We just don't usually make them around civilians , because many of you don't understand where it's coming from. Anyone who would joke around like that in front of patients or families doesn't belong in healthcare, but said in the break room? At the end of a long, hard shift? Much hysterical laughter.
glabberfasted 16
They were in a nursing home. That's usually end of life care. I'm sure the family has already prepared for death as a possibility.
Fuhkyoo 17
my grandpa always made jokes about dying, at 80 years old. one of the nurses asked how he was doing and he said "for a second i thought i was gonna make it!" so anyone crying boo needs to get the stick out of their ass, death is an inevitability, whats wrong with making a joke of it once in awhile?
a_wiener_d0g 15
#11 you've got to have a sense of humor on this site, or might as well delete your account if you get offended that easily
yscpunkchick 14
When you are working in an inpatient healthcare setting, you NEED to be able to find the funny side of things or else you're going to go crazy. I'm sure OP shed a few tears for the patient and their family. The postmortem care should be done respectfully but there is no harm in making a light farted, er... I mean hearted, joke between friends, coworkers, or anonymous people on FML.
avapaige1234 19
You must be fun at parties...