Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML
Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer, I saw her battery was flat so I said, "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said, "Not yet." FML
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
Today, at my job as a hotel housekeeper, I accidentally entered the room of someone who hadn't left yet. To my horror, the man inside was having a massive heart attack. I just found out he passed away, despite immediate medical intervention. FML
Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health, and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML
Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML
Today, the old lady I've been taking care of and running errands for died. She hadn't paid me yet. FML
Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML
Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML
Today, I spent nearly two hours listening to our cleaning lady talking about her son's infected penis, her fear of dentists, how to catch and kill ducks, her husband's childhood and her supposedly murdered dog. She ended up crying and left without cleaning. FML
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Top comments
whymee55 6
brush your teeth or you will get old and die!
sunrisetosunset 0
Oh my God. And I want to be a dentist...
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Comments (211)
sunrisetosunset 0
Oh my God. And I want to be a dentist...
Nutz321 0
god's earth is blue. mostly. and the existence of god is debatable, though I believe in him, so I'll let you have that.
Marvin_Android 0
Sounds dreadful. All that work you did to make her teeth clean was for nothing. Then again, had she lived, it probably still would have been for nought, as most life forms (especially your disgusting, ape-like species) contually eat and drink substances that damage their teeth. Don't try to figure it out. I'm 50,000 times more intelligent than you, and I don't know the reason behind it. Life. Don't talk to me about life.
theannonymousone 0
I second # 80's point. Learn to put thought's together you ape-like thing.
sheehan35 2
80 and 82 are idiots. its a hitchikers guide to the galaxy reference
TechFire 25
@#91: #82 was agreeing with you
mmplayer 0
when she gets up to heaven God will say, "they told you to brush"
flotar 0
^^^ yeap
Circu 3
Full of ourselves maybe? I've noticed that usually one that is claiming intelligence has none. The boasting of one's ego is only to take their mind off of the lack of understanding that the person has. And you sir, seem to have a smug sense of self worth.
SChew 6
Actually I do enjoy 51's comments. He got his own style
mamamiaaa_fml 12
126-Agreed. I love 51's comments. And he can write whatever he wants if you don't like his comments stop reading them dumb bitches it's as simple as that. Bitches. Don't talk to me about bitches. hehe had to couldn't resist.
btnhdude 0
ahhh 133 big win!
auto_da_fe 2
I agree with #85 :) I personally quite enjoyed that reference.
mperniciaro 15
It saddens me y'all don't understand "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" reference.
Gvfell 9
51, does that mean you arent human since you referred to humans as an "ape like species"? What are you :O
chazzywazzy654 22
Why has #51 been voted down so much, the comment was brilliant XD
megan369 0
**** her life.
SmellMyCheese 1
exactly
Krimzon 5
what life?
6sick6 4
**** her death.
treasurechest 0
6sick6 that made me laugh xD
jaahn 5
lololololoololololol best comments ever
mollyjynxjax 28
Or lack thereof
whymee55 6
brush your teeth or you will get old and die!
twinny_sc 13
LMAO!
dingggdonggg 0
yeah, that's a greats way to get kids to brush: )
NoodleBurger 0
HAHAHA, my thoughts exactly.
tboydlong7 0
win:D
Linnia 12
Poor Mr. Dentist. I don't blame him for not noticing. According to my dentist, people fall asleep while she's cleaning their teeth all the time.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Falling asleep does not equal death. OP is not a great hygienist if he/she didn't notice the lack of breathing and salivating and possibly the vacating of bowels and urine.
wwerulez14 6
#36, there is always the possibility that in her old age she would vacate her bowls while she was still alive, so I wouldn't completely depend on that as evidence of her death. The breathing, though, would work fine.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I would assume, or at least hope, that the OP was wearing some kind of gloves while working on his patients teeth so that could have desensitized their hands enough to not notice the lack of breathing. I would also hope they were wearing some kind of mask, which again could desensitize them to the breathing since they would be feeling their own breath against their face.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
You can't even assume that they should notice the lack of the rising and falling chest because a lot of times that's not that noticeable. If you don't believe me the just watch someone while they are sleeping because really relaxed breathing often looks like no breathing at all.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
As for the salivating issue, that can be covered by the fact that the OP was cleaning the woman's teeth. They would have been using enough moisture to hide a sudden lack of spit, plus I don't imagine dying means that your mouth instantly dries out. Sorry about the multiple comments, I have to keep my comments short or they don't post.
davidrios86 0
that sucks!!!!
hahahaha19 0
Atleast she died with a clean mouth! Some people aren't as fortunate!! lol
davidrios86 0
that sucks!!!
glitteringkiwi00 0
oh man, that would be such a traumatizing realization... hey btw how was your sleep..... for eternity... ?
sexyschmergel 0
holy ****** shit. this is why I refuse to be a dental's assistance, I would freak out. I'm sorry FYL
woodz1123 0
you're hella cute
IrishSoulja 4
youre extremely pathetic
likeabossx33 0
FYL :( That's sad.. and, 35- are you saying that because she's actuallu cute or just because her boobs are all out?
likeabossx33 0
actually**
rockyraccoon28 8
agreed, 49. 36 is just saying she's cute because she has no shirt on.
PaysonSaunders 0
put a shirt on.
bufabuka 0
she's hot and your not! lol
ILOLatmockdaweek 0
I can see your erm ****.
hanniegirl 0
how about putting on a shirt. your pathetic
login6437 0
You commenters are pathetic. You're pathetic***
josebeto 0
then again it's not an everyday thing for an old woman to die while your cleaning her teeth xD
millionaire93 0
all tho I will agree that she is cute, but it helps to have no shirt :)
PhilTSG 1
wtf why'd you change your pic?
KiwiExchange 16
Put on a shirt.
mech1245 0
Kiwi exchange, your pic looks cuter than hers anyway.
penguin7 0
your* don't correct someone if you're wrong :)
penguin7 0
of course all the girls complain she's not wearing a shirt... who cares! if she wants to get noticed in that way... so be it. and if guys like it kudos for them. why is that any of your concern. strange. hmph.
Ducati4623 0
KiwiExchange is not that girl. I've seen that before on google. at least the girl without a shirt is actually her.
st0n333d 0
Hate to break everyones hearts here but those thar are A cups.
bmexoxo98 0
exActly she doesn't even have big boobs!!
btor417 0
shirt definatly woulda ruined it
fulbrama000 0
#8 wow whoreing around on fml your great. now that's a new step for prostitution.
fulbrama000 0
well 94 I agree with the fact that having her shirt off is why the males find her attractive.
beastette1230 0
agreed. put a shirt on. having your **** hanging out may be "cute" but doesn't make your IQ any higher. Or your comment any better
jaahn 5
this bitch is dumb as shit. and she ain't cute wit her ittybittytittycommittee. her loose ass is begging for atttention
bobateme 0
49-No, she actually is cute.
joethemaggio 0
You're a dentist and you clean people's teeth? Do you not have a dental hygienist in your office to do that for you?
xspaniardx 3
Who said OP is a dentist? He/She said I was cleaning a patients teeth...they could very well be the dental hygienist. 8) Sorry OP that sucks! FYL
xspaniardx 3
oops. Nevermind. I just saw the "mr.dentist" my bad. 8) Sorry!! ha
perdix 31
So, how does it feel to be a murderer?
OPrime9 0
LMAOOOOOOOO
Trollz4daLULZ 2
I'm pissed that you beat me to it, but not too pissed to laugh anyway.
login6437 0
56- It's that the 4th or 5th time you've said that? Just admit that Perdix is funnier than you.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
A) *is that B) if it is, I haven't been keeping count. I'm surprised you have been; I mean, who really cares?! This is an internet forum for Chrissakes, not something that actually matters (hence my long disappearances). C) faster at commenting on new FMLs is NOT the same thing as funnier, so you fail logic along with English. D) I'll still admit he's funnier, since he is! It's not like I'm going to cry myself to sleep just b/c there exists at least one funnier person in the world.
gozar_fml 1
OP is a murdentist.