Work: Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register... - FML

By ihatemyjob - 12/09/2010 07:23 - Canada

Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 093

You deserved it 2 769

Sorry…

Vulture

Taking stock

By Anonymous - 03/10/2016 23:50 - United States - Westerville

Today, the family computer kept overheating. My four-year-old son thought the solution was to pour a nice, cold cup of water on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 961

You deserved it 1 219

By phillyfan4life - 21/02/2011 19:50 - United States

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 772

You deserved it 28 387

Squeezed one out

By harris - 25/06/2021 02:00

Today, I was desperate for the toilet when I got stopped by our CEO for a chat about a project I made a ton of profit on. I was so close to disaster that when she pulled me in for a hug I wasn’t expecting, it happened. Diarrhoea down my legs and shoes. I practically made the CEO vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 182

By Granmacathy - 29/11/2009 07:13 - United States

Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 013

You deserved it 4 483

By Anonymous - 29/12/2012 08:25 - United States - Sun Prairie

Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 661

You deserved it 3 100

By Husband - 22/11/2016 14:33 - United States - Washington

Today, I asked my husband if he wanted to visit my parents for Thanksgiving. He choked on his own spit to avoid answering the question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 259

You deserved it 1 503

By spanishgirl101 - 10/02/2010 02:52 - Canada

Today, I fell down the stairs, and my uncle came rushing over because he thought it was his 1 year old son. He saw me lying on the ground and said, "Oh. It's you," and then left to watch the hockey game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 852

You deserved it 3 065

By Anonymous - 10/01/2014 16:12 - United States - Shelbyville

Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 224

You deserved it 5 664

By Mrs. Terrified - 23/10/2011 23:08 - United States

Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 156

You deserved it 4 481

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 01:40 - United States

Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 905

You deserved it 3 077

By Come on - 29/01/2012 00:46 - United States

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 584

You deserved it 3 472

By Rach - 08/06/2010 14:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 594

You deserved it 4 378

By Anonymous - 05/03/2011 05:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 020

You deserved it 5 546

By Nikki - 03/08/2009 13:26 - United States

Today, I was baby sitting my little cousin when we decided to go outside and have a "treasure hunt" in the backyard. The first thing we found? The bones of her pet dog that had passed away four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 215

You deserved it 5 684

By shira512 - 10/08/2012 23:59 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 133

You deserved it 4 010

Customers…

By Giselle - 14/05/2021 14:01

Today, two girls walked into the clothing store I work in. One of them pulled a shirt from the bottom of a huge stack, knocking it down. One of them asks, "Aren’t your gonna put the stack back together?" The other says, "No, that bitch gets paid to clean that shit up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 78

By jojolovesyou134 - 23/06/2019 22:45

Today, as I have been the past week, I've was sent to fix my coworker's fuck-ups in his new area, and help him out as I know it. I then needed help in his old area, and got told to suck it up and figure it out. I've been doing this a year, he's been doing it for 5 years FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 492

You deserved it 259

By Anonymous - 19/03/2014 06:25 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I used the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 094

You deserved it 6 894

By pottypattypeepants - 31/12/2009 20:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 549

You deserved it 19 575

By korbo7 - 17/05/2016 03:26 - United States - Grand Island

Today, I saw a man help an elderly lady with her tray at the local McDonald's. I wanted to do something nice for him, so I added a couple extra nuggets in his meal. He later came up to me and told me I was dumb and didn't know how to count, and that was why I was working at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 521

You deserved it 1 404

By Anonymous - 12/02/2012 04:25 - United States

Today, after parking my car, I was informed by an incredibly hot girl that my tail light was faulty. I tried hitting it to make it work again. Guess who has 5 stitches and a smashed tail light? FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 753

You deserved it 35 946

By zinka - 25/07/2009 22:17 - United States

Today, I took the bus to Boston. My bike is in Boston. My bike lock is in Boston. The key is in New York. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 873

You deserved it 37 998

By Clumsy - 04/08/2018 15:00

Today, while baby-proofing the stairs so that my toddler wouldn't fall, I slipped on his toy car, broke the brand new gate while grabbing it so I wouldn't fall down the stairs, and broke my wrist and a rib. My husband should mom-proof the house for me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 153

You deserved it 353

By upset room mate - 18/08/2011 06:59 - United States

Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 023

You deserved it 4 281

By Vomit - 17/12/2018 05:00

Today, we had a patient projectile vomiting in our ambulance. I didn't know she had puked on our cot until I found it with my bare hand at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 304

You deserved it 191

By fastfoodslave - 06/09/2014 06:11 - United States - Northampton

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman returned to the drive thru because her fries weren't hot enough. She was so angry about coming back that she threw her cold fries at me through the window and told me to "choke on them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 736

You deserved it 6 796

By unit - 07/07/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I finally got around to organizing my closet. Discarded clothes fell into three distinct categories: Too Small, Yellow Pits, Stained with Food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 845

You deserved it 39 935

By ben - 18/09/2009 06:17 - United States

Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 860

You deserved it 6 663

By mustabeendrugs - 14/10/2013 01:14 - United States - Tucson

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 182

You deserved it 3 705

By Anonymous - 17/02/2010 18:52 - United States

Today, my husband decided to be helpful and do all the laundry, including pre-treating all the stains. He felt that Clorox Clean-Up with Bleach would be the most effective. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 971

You deserved it 3 751

By StephD - 20/03/2009 03:41 - Canada

Today, driving some friends back from a party I said, "Did everyone see Lisa totally hanging off of Pat tonight?! It was hilarious!!". There was a long silence, then one of my friends said "...you know Lisa is in the car, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 161

You deserved it 103 561

By guy - 25/11/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, my entire family came over for Thanksgiving. It went pretty well, only four family members got in a fistfight and only one cop car was called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 732

You deserved it 2 286

By Anonymous - 02/08/2015 05:19 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina is "as clean as a dog's mouth." I'm not sure if that supposed to be a compliment or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 620

You deserved it 3 482

By Sady_Ct - 17/03/2019 18:00

Today I took my dogs to the off leash dog park as usual. Today some dick decided to feed my pup alcohol while I was cleaning up after my other dog. Now my pup is sick and the vet is worried he may not survive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 332

You deserved it 210

By superstar - 30/03/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 163

You deserved it 90 945

By telefucked - 31/07/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, my parents switched phone companies, which changed the phone number. Two days ago, I dropped off over 15 job applications with my 'old' number on all of them. There is a waiting period before I can reapply anywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 531

You deserved it 4 205

By housepoor - 07/07/2009 04:48 - United States

Today, I met with my realtor to close on a house for my boyfriend and me. While waiting for my boyfriend, I got a text message from him saying he was breaking up with me. I had already signed the papers on our house. Now I'm responsible for a mortgage that I can only afford with his help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 690

You deserved it 14 178

By Anonymous - 17/07/2012 16:20 - United States - Palmdale

Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 080

You deserved it 9 592

By Jack - 26/10/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 907

You deserved it 2 976

By Kulcha - 13/02/2009 11:07 - Australia

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 388

You deserved it 40 348

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Top comments

iltby 3

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Sunday 12 September 2010 12:09

Um...that's kind of assault.

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Sunday 12 September 2010 12:14

WTF you guys.. how is this a YDI?!

Comments

hairt 4

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Sunday 12 September 2010 12:05

that sucks :(

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Sunday 12 September 2010 12:40

BOOM headshot?

KarinaLizeth18 5

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Sunday 12 September 2010 12:48

lmao! Priceless mental image!! xD

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Sunday 12 September 2010 13:20

you best give the old lady what she wants...

meepz 0

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Sunday 12 September 2010 13:51

If you're American you could sue.

thaprince1226 0

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Sunday 12 September 2010 14:31

So cool.

thaprince1226 0

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Sunday 12 September 2010 14:43

Wtf they changed my car.

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Sunday 12 September 2010 15:41

always be ready to duck when old people approach you, they always attack when you least expect it! YDI! :p

callmelishaful 0

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Sunday 12 September 2010 15:43

bahahahaha I could so see some people doing that to me while I'm at work :P xD that's hilarious!

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Sunday 12 September 2010 16:03

i hope it didnt hurt to bad

KingDingALing 9

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Sunday 12 September 2010 16:08

OP- Tell her that she's just mad because her vagina is old, wrinkly, and used up.

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Sunday 12 September 2010 17:13

24 if you weren't retarded and learned how to read, you would notice at the top that it says the op is Canadian. leave it to an American to come up with the idea of suing as the first fix to a problem.

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Sunday 12 September 2010 18:01

"Yeah, only AMERICANS are bigoted! Only Americans do X! I'm so awesome because I don't stereotype or look down on people like an AMERICAN would!" People who talk like that (and I'm not referring to all non-Americans, before someone accuses me of that) are hypocrites.

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Sunday 12 September 2010 19:11

But this is one of the situations in which a lawsuit would actually be a reasonable response. How can you expect to be able to reason with a person who has just assaulted you physically?

apoll 0

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Monday 13 September 2010 4:27

keep her in the store, call cops. profit. ??

babyfireball77 14

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Wednesday 15 September 2010 6:12

does the OP work at Canadian tire? cuz the same thing happened to me last week haha

UofLCardFan08 6

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Friday 17 September 2010 22:37

Please learn to read. #24 said "If you're American you could sue" which means the he/she knows the poster is not American.

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Sunday 12 September 2010 12:07

who does that?!?! i mean ... aside from the elderly. >.>

meepz 0

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Sunday 12 September 2010 14:02

You have to consider that the rest of us have knuckledusters and baseball bats.

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Sunday 12 September 2010 15:17

Maybe she heard 'groin check'...

iltby 3

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Sunday 12 September 2010 12:09

Um...that's kind of assault.

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Sunday 12 September 2010 12:14

Old people are scary....

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Sunday 12 September 2010 12:14

WTF you guys.. how is this a YDI?!

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Sunday 12 September 2010 12:16

People will always find a reason, darling...

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Sunday 12 September 2010 17:38

He could have ducked.

leafynitemare 24

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Monday 11 July 2016 2:01

I haven't voted yet but the other side of the coin here is that there's definitely some story missing. Maybe OP intentionally left out something they did to provoke them?

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Sunday 12 September 2010 12:15

aww FYL! i would of lost my job bcuz of her, cuz i would of hit her right back >:O

meepz 0

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Sunday 12 September 2010 14:00

Fake and gay.

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Sunday 12 September 2010 18:55

Yes, you are meepz.

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Sunday 12 September 2010 12:23

Smack that bitch back

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Sunday 12 September 2010 12:23

So... did you hit her back?

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Sunday 12 September 2010 12:35

I'd back hand her.

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Sunday 12 September 2010 12:37

fyl, OP. you were polite and all you got was a purse to your face. i smell a bitch.

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 6

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 5

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I’ve been single and lonely for so long, I looked up if it’s possible to marry your hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 61

Today, during sex, I was getting close to climax, which is unusual for me due to personal issues. However, I got a piercing headache and had to stop. I later found out my birth control can cause sex headaches and the best way to avoid them is to avoid orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 42