Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my job as a hotel housekeeper, I accidentally entered the room of someone who hadn't left yet. To my horror, the man inside was having a massive heart attack. I just found out he passed away, despite immediate medical intervention. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Today, at my job in a funeral home, I was transferring a body off a stretcher when it exhaled its last breath. Right into my face. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
Today, while working at my job at a nursing home, I slipped and fell. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just water. No, one of the residents had just had an "accident". FML
Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML
Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Silent, but deadly.
Thorvald22 17
Good god man what did you eat?
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Comments (133)
countrygirl109 11
R.I.P. to your patient OP.
mpkpm 19
You must certainly have some extremely poisonous gas!
Redoxx_fml 22
He who smelt it died
TrinityNevada 11
OP ACCIDENTALLY let one rip. For all we know, he/she was moving the client for a bath or something like that. In that case, a simple, "Excuse me" was sufficient. It's definitely a coincidence that the client died shortly thereafter but OP is blaming themself (a little) and did so through a little joke. If they said that at work, they would have been in trouble so using an anonymous outlet (here) is reasonable. It would be nearly impossible to track down exactly who the OP is and who the deceased is. Sometimes, especially people who work in a field where death isn't uncommon, they need to make light of it in order to deal with it.
BlackBirdsSong 10
In no way would you get in trouble because of letting one go in the nursing home. worked at one for a long time and If people had gas they'd let it go. Most of the patients can't smell. seeing as that's one of the first senses to go.
glabberfasted 16
62 - They would get in trouble for making a joke about killing them with said flatulence, not for farting.
conman531 23
You cut the cheese and he died? He must be lactose intolerant... that was a horrible joke. I shall hide in a dark hole now
MLardinos 14
I thought it was funny :)
HeadlessSparrow 20
The last memory of the patient was you farting.
Dontalktome 9
That, sir, is just depressing. No one's last memory should be another man's fart. Now I think op is an asshole.
ThomasBombadil 31
And the last smell.
flamedragon2525 11
sadly.... :(
TheRealPitBoss 17
I think not! Its called chemical warfare!
flamedragon2525 11
tis
Nova900 17
We really need a "bullshit" button.
hulopro 16
Stop with those burritos man!
SBittick 20
The sound probably scared them...Died of a heart attack.
False_Stupidity 42
More like a fart attack!