By guy - 30/07/2012 03:24 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 122
You deserved it 5 788

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ifoundalaska 11

That is definitely one of the most grotesque things I have ever heard in my nineteen years of living.

You should have at least tried waking him up or checking his pulse first..


ifoundalaska 11

That is definitely one of the most grotesque things I have ever heard in my nineteen years of living.

I know right iv seen or heard some gross things but this takes the cake D:

Why did my comment go to you i choose someone else stupid iphone -.-

Iphone be trolling me and tryed sending the comment twice -.-

Blackmail111 9


I wonder if Tyler is going to get moderated. He must've broken at least three rules.

Revan501 15

Which are?

Spelling, grammar, and spam.

day624 14

#30 What the hell^^^^^

hwkfan1 10

So ummm, I guess you can tell future boyfriends you're a swallower, I bet they'd like that :D

One word: Barf O.O

I was eating while I read this FML, bad idea, cause now I can not swallow...

bustub2 8

I admit, I gagged a little.

How can so many people say this perSon deserved it? That is so gross how could anyone deserve that!

ogatasan 5

Some nurse you are. Assuming you took advanced cardiovascular life support, you should know that unless you have a second person assisting, the American heart association states that only chest compressions should be given and rescue breaths should be held

HelloGuys 4

The Worst thing i've seen in my entire life was human centipiede < spelled wrong idgaf

Since you're a nurse, you should know that you're supposed to check the breathing and pulse first. That's the first thing they teach you about CPR...

ObsessedWithGays 7

I don't find this gross.. Maybe it's because I've watched things like 1 Man 1 Screwdriver, 1 Guy 1 Jar, 1 Priest 1 Nun, Tub Girl, etc. For all you curious people out there that find this gross.. You are now fucked. Lol.

#119, This is why FML is a great dieting device. Bad idea to eat while reading it, unless you have a strong stomach.

that's some good watchin'! hehehe

unixdude 9

Because a real RN would have checked vitals before starting CPR. That's one of the basic, and I mean really fundamental, building blocks of responder care. In other words, the story is bullshit.

Revan501 15

That's just nasty.

kayceecakess 7

Did anyone else read this in Cleveland's voice? No? Just me? Okay..time to go back under my rock now.

Everybody does. It's standard on FML now.

PushMyButtons 5

Yuck!! Gross. Very disgusting the way I'm picturing it. As I do everything else -.-

Pretty_Pink_Lady 10

I don't think there is any way you could picture this scenario without it being very disgusting. It's not your brilliant imagination; this is just a gag-worthy FML.

Ah romance these days

At least you tried to help, most people would just walk by.

Blackmail111 9

No, see, most people would whip out their phones and call 911 (if he's unresponsive) and/or ask if the man is ok. A few people (such as OP) would attempt CPR if the man was unresponsive. Complete assholes would just brush it off and walk away (which would be quite rare).

*Walking down the street* Oh look a dying old man! Oh well. *whistles as he walks away*

And then the old man would hock a loogie at the passerby.

nkipp33 7

Assuming this is in the U.S. it is a federal law that any registered nurse/doctor has an obligation to help someone in need of CPR. OP was not only being a good citizen but doing their job as well.

39 you are correct it says it was posted from Ohio

southernbelle_rn 16

39-It's not a federal law. Ethically, yes you should help. But it varies from state to state if you are required to assist. And since most fear lawsuits or other criminal charges (make sure you are competent and trained first) they are often hesitant to do it, but that's where Good Samaritan laws come into play.

I'm pretty sure the first rule of CPR is if you don't see the accident happen, you don't touch the victim because you don't know what caused the injury or if they're safe for you to touch. You're supposed to call the 911 and let them take care of it. Also pretty sure that CPR has changed its layout to hands only. You're not supposed to start with checking for airway or blowing into his mouth, you're supposed to immediately go into the chest pulses. Considering she is a nurse she should have taken an updated CPR class this past year, thereby avoiding this situation.

OhDearBetrayal 25

39- I think you're confusing the laws here. There is a law that protects registered nurses and medical professionals that help people outside of their work or good people that want to help, and that law is called the Good Samaritan Law. It's not required of you to help (though if you do choose to not help when you could have you could be subjected to punishment) but if you do help you're protected by the law.

countrygirl626 16

Any medical professional has an obligation to help any injured or sick because of the fact they're are a trained medical professional and they know what they are doing.

117- you're kind of right. First, you do chest compressions first before rescue breaths. However, only non medical people being trained in CPR learn it without rescue breaths. I renewed my CPR certificate this past May and because I am in the medical field, I still had to preform rescue breaths to the dummy.

Fishinaddict22 1

I hope people don't take yalls advice on CPR protocol. First step is check vital signs; pulse and breathing. If he has both you don't just jump into chest compressions. Correct chest compressions will crack or even break the patients ribs and or sternum especially the elderly. Since he obviously had both, seeing he was able to summon that luggy lol, she should have called 911 and monitored him.

You should have at least tried waking him up or checking his pulse first..

You think as a registered nurse he didn't?

Do you honestly believe as a registered nurse trained at this he didn't do that?

He obviously didn't because there is no way an unconscious person could spit into OP's throat

Being unconscious and not having a pulse are totally different things. We're taught that if there's a pulse, you give two rescue breaths until they breathe on their own or help arrives. For all we know, the victim may have choked on their spit and thanks to OP, the rescue breaths caused it to come out. CPR/rescue breathing comes with risks, and unfortunately bodily fluids coming into your mouth is one (that's why a valve mask is recommended).

Dangit- didn't get to edit in time... Sorry for the unnecessary education on CPR; when I reread the FML I realized the spit happened as OP was going in to give a breath (not already giving breaths). So all I can guess is the man is screwed off in the head, or his body dislodged the spit on it's own. Really gross either way!!! :/

We don't have enough information here. I really do wonder if OP checked if he was breathing, despite being a registered nurse. The way the FML was worded, I read it as "omg person on the street, quick give cpr!" but that could just be me. I hope that's not the case, since giving CPR to a person when they don't need it can actually be dangerous.

#93, that's how it sounded to me as well. Maybe it was the character limit or just badly written but it reads as though CPR was OP's first move. That would not be a good move. Still, even if OP's was off, he/she didn't deserve this. Good on you for trying to help. Next time, maybe give a shout first.

77, Coming from someone with a background in health but not medicine I'm wondering why it is you would need to perform CPR on someone who was still breathing...I mean if he were holding his breath it would be obvious, so I'm a little confused as to how CPR is of any use to someone who is simply unconscious.

You're all wrong, OP just wanted to get to first base.

HelloGuys 4

Why would you do CPR on someone and you have no idea if he has any type of disease ect. (i prefer not to run up on just anyone laying on the ground and randomly start doing CPR

According to AHA new standards, civilians do hands only CPR. Especially for unconscious people, mouth to mouth is dangerous with strangers.

To save their life. Simple as that.

He (assuming his username means he's a guy) is a registered nurse. That's basically one of his jobs.

Inheritance 10

60 could also be 'guy' is referring to the unconscious old man on the ground who hacked a loogie in OP

laurbear12 3

Just threw up a bit

Blackmail111 9

Shit double post!

Blackmail111 9

No, you probably didn't.

Ur gorgeous beauty

59- And you're creepy.

It's his first fml crush come guys!

Big_lama6 7

Hey, you tried. Props to you for that... Although swallowing probably wasn't the best idea

heartgrenade1 5

Not to be an ass, but gotta call bullshit on this one. Every nurse and doctor or anyone who's ever had decent CPR training knows the mouth on mouth part is complete crap. Most CPR classes don't even teach it anymore. It's almost impossible blow air directly into the lungs without being able to visualize which tube it's going down. In addition, oxygen is useless if the heart is not pumping blood to the brain because it would just sit in the lungs.

Ashley0911 8

. Moral of all FMLs involving old people, don't help the elderly. Sucks to be you OP, I would have punched him in the gut!

Your kidding right? I think knowing you swallowed that is not as bad as knowing a man died because you wouldn't help him because he was old

Blackmail111 9

You have the IQ of a broom.

And ya rupturing some ones organs because he almost died looks amazing when applying for a job at a hospital.

i went to the thumb you down and accidently hit the up. So, please note that your comment makes you sound awful.

The amount of make up you have on is too damn high.

Your Grandparents must love it when you visit.

Your Grandparents must love it when you visit.

Your Grandparents must love it when you visit.

Mouth wash is your friend and as you friend he will allow you to use him

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

That doesn't help with the whole "swallowed it" situation though...

If I were in that situation I would swallow the mouth wash also therapy, therapy helps getting through traumatizing events like this.