Health: Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had...

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 10:15 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 971

You deserved it 3 121

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Same thing different taste

By aragmir - 18/12/2016 06:10 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 701

You deserved it 2 875

By janedoe - 12/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 811

You deserved it 12 748

By Anonymous - 13/06/2009 06:40 - United States

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 471

You deserved it 4 937

Fit as a fiddle

By Anonymous - 09/07/2018 20:30

Today, I, a man in his 40s, had to be taken to the hospital because I was laughing so hard at an old Disney movie that my diaphragm went into spasms. I stopped breathing and passed out for a few minutes, and my son had to call an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 016

You deserved it 434

By Ashley J. - 01/03/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, my family gathered at my 96 year old great-grandmother's surprise birthday party that was my idea. When she walked in, we surprised her so much that she literally had a heart attack. She is now in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 289

You deserved it 17 546

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 16:00

Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 371

You deserved it 272

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 11:13 - India

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 936

You deserved it 6 052

By guy - 30/07/2012 03:24 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 164

You deserved it 5 808

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 553

You deserved it 2 553

Easy mistake

By helper - 01/12/2009 06:15 - Costa Rica

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 673

You deserved it 34 833

BadDay98 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:04

I guess in this case laughter isn't the best medicine

jsni2132 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:04

Well, I guess the joke was to die for. All jokes aside, that sucks, OP. Hope the guy is ok!

Comments

BadDay98 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:04

I guess in this case laughter isn't the best medicine

JazzHandsFML 28

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:35

brings a new meaning to rofl

wheresmymary 22

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:51

At least he died happy!

NeatNit 32

Thursday 4 June 2015 8:04

#1, I'm not sure. maybe we need to make him laugh even harder!

Cads1 24

Thursday 4 June 2015 8:21

Wish I knew some killer jokes like that.

BoredomIsReal 13

Thursday 4 June 2015 19:16

Have you see jacksfilms.

Firecubitch 5

Thursday 4 June 2015 20:26

Doesn't do wonders when you have diarrhea either.

ShowMeKay 20

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:04

I'm so sorry OP :( At least you made that resident happy, don't be too hard on yourself. Hope they survived the heart attack.

mds9986 24

Thursday 4 June 2015 20:01

If the patient was so unstable laughing cause him to have a heart attack, he was probably on the way out anyway and it wasn't OPs fault

jsni2132 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:04

Well, I guess the joke was to die for. All jokes aside, that sucks, OP. Hope the guy is ok!

Hoopachi 19

Thursday 4 June 2015 14:21

This comment reminded me of that one scene in The Lion King where Scar told Simba "It's to die for"

Daevas 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 17:23

Makes me kind of want to hear the joke.. Or maybe not..

MrEatYourDog 14

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:04

Wouldn't be the first time

WOTAN1488 24

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:06

Just trying to kill them off quicker I see :/ lol

ColonelCusswords 24

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:06

You knocked em dead...

ohjoy15 33

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:06

That's a pretty good way to go... What was the joke??

maggiefox 25

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:08

I see you're the life of the party... ?

akai4986 16

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:08

OMG , laughter isn't the best medicine after all

erindgentry 28

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:10

So is this HOMIEcide? Get it? No? Okay...

flopstar 21

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:17

No I don't..

ColonelCusswords 24

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:24

i love and hate the way everyone on fml likes to gang up and shit all over puns

erindgentry 28

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:26

Cause homies make you laugh. And the resident had a heart attack laughing

Grayness_ 26

Thursday 4 June 2015 9:23

She was being sarcastic hon Lol

TheIronFez 13

Thursday 4 June 2015 19:00

Nobody got it.

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The Top

Today, my dad came home from work complaining about all the people he'd seen. He said he doesn't understand why so many people with problems have to confide in him. He's a psychologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 700

You deserved it 3 323

Today, my brother and sister-in-law come over ONLY to use up the resources at our house - like food, TV subscriptions, and other items. They claim to love my kids and come over for them. If only they would look up from their phone and spend actual time with the kids. Is there a way to block toxic relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 104

The Top

Today, I called the cops to let them know that a drunk man was driving dangerously down my road. About an hour later, I was going to the store and got pulled over for speeding by the cop I called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 234

You deserved it 36 246

Today, after I tried to create the perfect playlist for a road trip, my music app decided to shuffle exclusively between sea shanties and children's nursery rhymes, turning my drive into a surreal musical adventure that left me questioning the algorithm's sense of humor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 193

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight after I asked him repeatedly to tell his daughter to stop wearing my clothes. She stretches them out and has busted seams. The last straw was when she broke the heels on my very expensive shoes. I'm not being mean, she’s a size 14 and I’m a 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 148

Today, I was out for a nice walk and saw a man being attacked by a large crowd. Instinctively I ran to help him. I pushed one "thug" off him and that little time allowed him to escape. I later found out the man I saved had just keyed someone's car and they had intervened. Guess whose car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 064

You deserved it 11 712

Nopenopenopenopenope.

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 70

Today, during quite vigorous unprotected sex with my partner, I got a bit over-excited and on the pullout, my ejaculate shot from me, across my partner, and hit the dog who had decided to jump on the bed. My partner found it hilarious; I feel like I'm going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 478

You deserved it 573

Same thing different taste

Fit as a fiddle

Easy mistake

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