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The all-time greatest FMLs

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, its been three weeks since my boyfriend's "hilarious prank" went off. He hid a Bluetooth speaker in my son's room and played a scary clown laugh at 2am. Now my son won't even enter his room, much less sleep in it. My boyfriend had better learn to love sleeping on the sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 147

Off script

By Going hungry - 29/07/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my fiancee asked me to text her a grocery list. I asked for meat, fruit, vegetables, you know, the staples. She came back with tons of sugar cereal, pop tarts, cookie dough, and other unhealthy crap. We have no other food, our monthly budget is gone, and junk food gives me horrible stomach cramps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 188

Hard times

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I learned that my brother isn't going to have a funeral because my dad and stepmom can't afford one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 66

My name is

By my name is not Alex - 30/12/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, my boss keeps calling me by my coworker's name, no matter how many times I correct her. We all have nametags, and my coworker and I look nothing alike. There is absolutely no feasible way to confuse either of us at all, let alone all the time. I'm convinced she's doing it on purpose to test my patience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 94

Long time coming

By That was twelve years ago - 23/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Edison

Today, the girl I stalked in high school found me. I've since gotten therapy and fixed my attachment issues, but she told my fiancée the whole story anyway. Now I'm single and sleeping on my clothes in the back of a U-haul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 298

How about no?

By Anonymous - 12/03/2026 00:00

Today, my parents told me that I'm going on our upcoming family vacation and that's final. I broke both my legs in an accident and have to use a wheelchair. I"m in constant pain and don't want to go anywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 67

Leaking from everywhere

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 89

Exploitation

By Anonymous - 28/04/2023 03:00

Today, if I'd known a few days ago when I agreed to help a friend film that it was going to be located so far away and cost so much to get there, I would have said no straight away. I won't even be reimbursed for my efforts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 225

Hoarder vibes

By Anonymous - 31/12/2024 12:00 - United States - Edison

Today, after finally convincing my wife to let me donate the piles of junk lying around, I was backing out of the driveway with a full load when she ran out going, "Wait, wait!" She wants to go through everything and try to sell it. Back to square fucking one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 104

Come on

By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my two year-old son consistently ignores my mom and will crawl towards my dad every time. My mom is now refusing to visit because a two year-old hurt her feelings. I get it, being ignored hurts, but come on, he’s two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 93

Nokia 3310 FTW

By Anonymous - 17/03/2020 02:30 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, while taking a rather large crap, I sent my sister a joking text saying, "I'm shitting my ass inside out." Turns out I sent it to my entire list of contacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 2 071

I'll see you in court

By UGGHhhhhh - 13/01/2026 00:00

Today, my nail client came with yet another sob story about a bill being on autopay and they took it from her account before her appointment. I set boundaries and said I won’t proceed until I’m paid in full (She owes over $300). She responded by trashing my shop. $1000 in nail polish supplies down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 66

Stacy's Mom

By Anonymous - 26/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 265

Get me out of here

By mirabelle - 06/11/2023 03:00

Today, my mom screamed at me for not saying “Thank you” after she gave me food. Yesterday, she screamed at me for thanking her. I’m 24 and can’t afford to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 122

How deep is your rake?

By Anonymous - 23/07/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, in a scene worthy of any comedy movie, I slipped and landed on my ass right on the garden rake my husband left in the grass. Sounds funny, right? Well, I have 9 holes in my ass and thigh that need stitches. One of them came close to poking my femoral artery, so technically I almost died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 94

Turn that frown upside down

By sdfg - 12/12/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I was written up at work for not smiling. It’s winter, therefore smiling will cause my lips to crack and bleed. I drink 8 glasses of water a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 163

Corruption, corruption everywhere

By Anonymous - 15/03/2025 12:00 - Czechia

Today, a student told me to "F*** off!" I reported it to my boss and the student's parent, who is also a teacher at the school. My boss deemed it a minor issue and said we wouldn't be following discipline policy. Now, my boss frequently visits my classroom to bully me, likely due to the two of them being drinking buddies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 94

Bon appétit

By Anonymous - 20/03/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I ordered a pizza for delivery, and when it arrived, the box was completely empty except for a receipt and a piece of lettuce. I called the restaurant, and they insisted I must’ve eaten it all, and was just pretending. I took a picture of the empty box and the soggy piece of lettuce to prove them wrong. It didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 85

Who are you? Who am I?

By NoDaddyIssues - 24/03/2024 22:00 - Netherlands - Alphen aan den Rijn

Today, I finally received the phone call I had been waiting on for years. The agency who is trying to approach my father in an attempt for me to get in contact with him called me with the news that they found him. Too bad he died about 25 years ago, so he can't consent with making himself known. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 105

How's about you go **** yourself, knobhead?

By Anonymous - 26/07/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend of four years told me that I have a potty mouth and that I should clean it with Harpic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 334

I'm a weirdo, I'm a creep

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, I was sitting behind some bushes in the dark enjoying the view, when some cops came and confiscated my night-vision goggles, then warned me for acting like a "creepy perv." FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 3 572

Stepdad woes

By Djdjfj - 22/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I reminded my fiancee's kid to put the toilet seat up when he pees. My fiancée heard and shrieked at me to stop being controlling and weird. Yesterday, she threw a tantrum because there was piss on the toilet seat. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 114

How did it go?

By Jill04 - 11/10/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I went on a blind date set up by my best friend. When I got there, my "date" was my ex. My best friend knew, and she thought it would be "funny" to see how we would react. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 77

Second opinion

By AngryAspy - 21/05/2023 10:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I asked if my psychiatrist would test me for autism, as I believe I may have it. His response? "You probably don't. Stay off social media once in a while." Well fuck me for wanting a professional opinion I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 740

Unfairly branded

By jake - 03/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, every girl I’ve dated since high school has falsely accused me and spread rumors of me beating them, and of being an “abusive boyfriend.” This is now my reputation around this city. The one thing they all have in common is they each cheated on me with the type of guy they accuse me of being. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 164

Weak

By Anonymous - 13/09/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend, who I thought was the one I’d one day marry, didn’t survive her first time meeting the extended family. My parents loved her, but my grandma, great grandma, aunties, and cousins gave her such a hard time that she ran out in tears, jumped on a bus, then broke up with me via text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 223

Security!

By Anonymous - 14/05/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, at the park, a woman asked if I could watch her toddler for a second while she ran to the bathroom. Before I could answer, she ran off. Ten minutes later, a police officer approached me because someone reported a "man lurking with a child." I’m a woman. And not the babysitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 76

RIP to a real one

By ohnooooo - 28/06/2025 22:00 - Luxembourg

Today, it's the 11th anniversary of my dog's adoption, who died a few months ago. I miss her and can’t stop crying. I’m very sick and don’t know if I’ll ever be fit to have a dog again. Loneliness sucks big time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 124

Thanks, I guess?

By Alex - 04/09/2025 09:00 - Mexico - Mexico City

Today, after months of helping my girlfriend accommodate into her new apartment to escape from her abusive mother, she thanked me by posting an Instagram story with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 89

Use protection

By Anonymous - 17/08/2022 12:00

Today, after I got pregnant off a dude who turned out to be married, and he'd told me he’d support me and the baby on the side, I had a miscarriage. Now he's pretending he doesn't even know me, and I can’t even tell his wife because without the baby, I can’t even prove we had sex that one time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 1 701

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The Top

Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 549

You deserved it 2 911

Today, I woke up late for work, and got sick at work twice; when I got home I discovered I'd paid my cable bill late when I got cut off. When my girlfriend came over, the first thing she said was "Do you know about the graffiti on your car?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 661

You deserved it 3 346

Today, I called my mother who is vacationing in Florida with my dad and sister. Before they left I told them I would be very responsible and that they could trust me. The first thing she asked me is if all the animals were still alive. I said yes. I lied. Her favourite cat drowned in the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 232

You deserved it 41 676

Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 762

You deserved it 3 913

Today, I rolled over a curb and bent one of the signs that read "Please Park Here After Your Road Test," at the DMV, because my foot slipped off the brake just before I put the car in park, which would've ended my Test. The first words out of the examiner's mouth were, "Well you would've passed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 122

You deserved it 31 843

Today, I was reading a romance story about a couple that fights, but gets back together and works out their issues. I was rooting for the breakup because I've become so cynical, I think forgiveness is weak and trust is for suckers. Yup, I'm now heartless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 508