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The all-time greatest FMLs

Jumping the gun

By just lookin out - 31/05/2023 03:00

Today, I saw my sister’s husband kissing another woman in a restaurant. I lost it, flipped their table, and got the cops called on all of us. Turns out they’re poly and she’s their third. Or she was going to be. My sister is now mad at me for “scaring her off”. My bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 1 276

Pipe down

By Anonymous - 11/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I have mono. This means I need to sleep a lot, under doctor's orders. My dad has decided it's okay to to play loud bluegrass music and leave the TV on old movies in which women scream hysterically at all hours, and gets pissed at me when I tell him to turn it down. I feel like an old man raising a manchild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 91

Yummy

By Anonymous - 06/05/2020 23:00

Today, I decided to have some bagels. It was only after I ate them that I looked at the cream cheese and discovered that it expired 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 1 957

Golden child

By Ana - 31/07/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my mom proved to me that there was favoritism between me and my siblings. My mom made me use my money to buy everyone dinner, but when my brother wanted to buy himself food, my mom asked him if he was gonna buy me and our sister some too, he said, "No, I don’t want to" and she said, "That’s fine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 111

Happy?

By Anonymous - 30/09/2025 03:00

Today, the love of my life told me she no longer wants to be with me. Two kids and a happy life thrown away. Today I realised that nothing is forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 97

You big baby

By Anonymous - 17/03/2026 03:00

Today, my husband was supposed to have knee surgery but he wouldn't leave the house because he "got scared" no matter what I and even my mother-in-law tried to do. Now he can't have it for another six months and I took three weeks off work to help him that I can't cancel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 84

Home sweet home

By Hungry dad - 27/05/2025 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, I made a sandwich. When I went to grab chips, my wife snatched it. I made a second sandwich. My son came in and stole the plate when I was grabbing a seltzer. I went to make a third sandwich. No more cold cuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 129

Sucker

By Anonymous - 08/09/2021 14:01

Today, I tried out my new noise-canceling headphones while vacuuming my house. They worked so well that I didn't hear the vacuum stop when the plug fell out of the outlet. I accidentally had the vacuum off the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 1 040

Triple whammy

By D J's MOM - 13/11/2023 04:00

Today, after I attended the funeral service of a good friend last Sunday, tomorrow I'm going to the funeral of my uncle, and last night my mother just told me she has Covid. Triple whammy. Gonna mask up, stay my distance, and pay my respects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 115

By darkdollyone - 19/05/2010 01:36 - Spain

Today, I saw a very pretty girl at the nightclub. She looked at me so I took a sexy pose while drinking, trying to look cool. I put the straw in my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 396

Unboyfriendable

By Emotional Damage - 25/02/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 105

Mind your own beeswax

By Anonymous - 22/08/2020 17:02

Today, I saw an employee showing off a picture on his phone. I couldn't quite see what it was and tried to inject myself in to the conversation. "Whatcha got there, a cow?" It wasn't. It was a photo of his wife, posing in her wedding dress for the first time since their wedding day several years and children ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 2 933

By Anonymous - 29/04/2013 07:25 - France

Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 55

You're next

By Anonymous - 08/01/2024 09:00 - United States - West Valley City

Today, after I sent my daughter to her best friend's house for a week, who lives three hours away, her friend's mom got really sick half way through. My daughter came home early because the mom was too sick. Now my daughter isn't feeling well and I just found the mom has the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 130

Stay away from me

By Anonymous - 02/04/2026 22:00

Today, my restraining order against my mother, who literally tried to murder me when I was 8 to prevent my dad from getting full custody of me, was denied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 58

FML is open 24/7 for you

By Anonymous - 18/12/2023 12:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, it’s been about two and a half months since I entered into a severe, borderline suicidal depressive episode. My psychiatrist prescribed a new antidepressant to go with my mood stabilizer, but it will take up to a month to kick in. Looks like it’s gonna be a blue Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 147

All sorts of red flags

By KingRob - 13/04/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I confronted my ex-employer about the money he owes me. He'd said he would pay me $3000. He asked me if I had it in writing. I said no. He said, “Well, too bad for you. No leg to stand on.” Then, in a cringey Indian accent, “Thank you, come again!” and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 139

Don't know, don't care

By Anonymous - 02/09/2024 22:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was in a car accident. When I came home, I told my mom. She just got angry with me, blamed me for it, and didn't even ask if I was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 98

By GamingWolfy5 - 27/06/2019 06:36

Today, I got angry at my computer, and instead of bashing my keyboard with my fists, I bashed my face on the keyboard. It REALLY hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 2 959

Confused

By Matt - 10/05/2025 09:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I met my girlfriend's friends for the first time. One of them walked up to me and gushed, "Oh my god, Joshua! It's so nice to finally meet you!" Then she made a remark about how she heard I played hockey. Hi, my name is Matt, and my sport is wrestling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 94

Emotional support

By Anonymous - 17/04/2021 08:00

Today, I was complaining to my Nana about why I can’t get a date. She proceeded to point out my appearance, lack of brains, abrasive personality, poor clothing choices, tacky tattoos, and so on. Thanks Nana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 1 316

Brain melt

By coco1234 - 09/03/2020 12:35

Today, I stood there for 10 minutes trying to fix the toaster, until I called my brother to help me. I'd forgotten that it wasn't plugged in. He now thinks I'm a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 1 478

Gotcha

By Anonymous - 14/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, my leasing office called to inform me that we will be receiving an eviction notice. After further communication into why, I found out that I’m not being evicted, but my girlfriend of six years is, because she got caught doing the dirty with someone in the apartment gym restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 107

How could you?

By Anonymous - 04/06/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife was in labour and bouncing on her inflatable ball to relieve the pain when it popped. This thing has lasted her entire pregnancy and it chose to burst now, sending her crashing to the floor groin first while 8 cm dilated. And as the husband, it is of course all my fault, you bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 116

Fruity party

By Anonymous - 19/08/2023 06:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I went to a costume party dressed as a pineapple. As it turned out, the theme was "tropical", not "tropical fruit". Everyone else was in Hawaiian shirts while I stood there looking fruity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 349

Highly relatable

By Alexa, play "Lazy" by Deep Purple - 07/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I woke up and did the same thing I do at the start of every day: lie in my bed and stare up at the ceiling for who knows how long, all while contemplating how little I've accomplished in my life. Depression sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 138

Advice needed

By Anonymous - 25/03/2026 00:00

Today, I finally reunited with my parents after spending almost five years in foster care after they were held responsible for the death of my sister. I know I should be thankful but that's five years we can't get back. Our relationship is so distant that it may never recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 94

Scammers all the way down

By Anonymous - 15/09/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, and for the past 2 years, my aunt has owed me money. She just admitted that she fell for a scam, and gave the scammer more than double the amount I'd loaned her. I felt bad for her… until I realized something. When I asked how she had it to give to them, but not to pay me back, she got mad and hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 88

By Anonyme - 17/04/2016 06:10 - Luxembourg

Today, my sister insisted on taking a picture of her plate of pasta “to show her friends what an unworthy family we are”. It was only after she put a candle on her plate that we realized we forgot her birthday. All of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 1 230

Growing old gracefully

By Anonymous - 20/11/2023 06:00

Today, my youngest sister was Snapchatting a new guy and sent him a selfie with me in it. He responded, “Is that your mom?” I’m 26.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 125

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The Top

Today, I was so sleep deprived that while making instant oatmeal, I poured the oats into the garbage and put the empty packet in a bowl, then microwaved it for 2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 282

You deserved it 2 716

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 294

You deserved it 7 020

Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 600

You deserved it 6 281

Today, at work, a customer ordered a caramel latte with no caramel. I made a regular latte after explaining that’s what it was. He got angry and threw it at me. I got fired for insulting his intelligence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 011

You deserved it 309

Today, I'm starting to realize my wife's baby loves me more than my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 183

Today, I was walking my dog when a lady approached me, commented how beautiful she was, and asked to pet her. I obliged and next thing I knew I was pushed to the ground and maced. She made off with my dog. The police is unable to locate them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 82