The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Classic been there, done that

By Anonymous - 20/08/2025 22:00 - Canada - Regina

Today, in a state of severe depression and fearing I might do the worst, I called my local suicide helpline. I was put on hold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 93

Beginner's protest

By Vegansux - 23/08/2025 03:00 - Netherlands

Today, my sister was yet again sprawled out on the kitchen floor. Passed out drunk? Nah, it was a "die-in" as part of her plan to annoy us into becoming insufferable vegans like her. I accidentally stepped on her hand and she screamed, making me jump and splash hot coffee everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 75

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 10/10/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, I found out that my landlord had been showing my apartment to new tenants without telling me, when I woke up this morning to a family of four staring at me scratching my nuts whilst watching TV on my couch in my pajamas, horrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 67

Possession

By Katelyn_Louise - 01/05/2021 02:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, someone left their drug bag on the table in the lounge at my place, probably a friend, and probably a mistake. The next minute the cops knock on the door and force their way in. Immediately the cop spots the drug bag and cuffs me. It wasn't even my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 882

This charming man

By Anonymous - 13/09/2024 12:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was in the store when a man started chatting me up. He was good looking and charming. He asked, “So, what are you, 22-23?” I saw him visibly recoil in disgust when I told him my real age. I’m only 35, he was about 50, but he acted like he couldn’t runaway fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 104

Scraping by

By Anonymous - 30/10/2023 00:02

Today, after 10 years in practice as a veterinarian, I began an internship in hopes of becoming a surgeon. The other intern/roommate never came, so we worked extra but don’t make enough to pay rent and buy groceries. We talked to HR about it and they give us a list of food banks. We work for a university. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 112

Dipstick

By Mato Fox - 16/12/2023 20:00 - Slovakia

Today, I was driving through a crossroad on the main road. A driver from the right got road rage, as I didn't let him go first. He drove past me and started brake-checking me. After that he followed me over whole city to scream and curse at me in front of my flat. I didn't break any the laws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 124

This means war

By Anonymous - 24/12/2023 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, after I spent the evening at a girl's house that I'm seeing, I woke in the morning and put my pants on to leave, only to have her dog's poop roll out of the leg of my pants. This wouldn't be so bad if last week the same dog hadn't left the same treat right where I step when getting out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 157

Risky

By Josh - 13/10/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 212

By laptitesouris - 31/03/2013 23:35 - France - Pertuis

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 86

There's always that one dude

By Anonymous - 29/05/2024 16:00 - Ireland

Today, it was my second day at my new job. The bathrooms have urinals, and I usually get bladder shy while using them, but I thought, "When in Rome…" That's when my manager came in, stood at the urinal next to mine, dropped his pants and boxers around his ankles, and started talking about sports. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 113

Step-nothing

By Anonymous - 05/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my dad's new wife, who is two years younger than me (I'm 24) and hates that I'm a lesbian, threw a fit when I told her that I would never call her Mom. My dad took her side. I don't live with them but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 92

So romantic…

By Anonymous - 05/05/2024 06:00

Today, my proposal was slightly ruined when the ring I got her, which I could have sworn was the same size as other rings she owns, was a whole 3 sizes too big. She agreed to marry me but is now sulking because she thinks I think she’s fat and needs a big ring for her fat fingers. Give me a break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 183

Control group

By Anonymous - 08/07/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss wanted us to fill out anonymous employee satisfaction surveys. The entire workforce, all 4 of us, just looked at him. How can a sample of only 4 surveys possibly be kept anonymous? He’d know who it was straight away from our handwriting. Man he must think we’re dumb… FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 98

Some fun was had

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 85

Game on

By Anonymous - 15/05/2025 15:00 - Australia

Today, myself and three friends went to a games night and we had to come up with a team name. Since I’m black and they’re all white, they insisted on “Interracial”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 105

Let's celebrate

By Anonymous - 29/09/2025 15:00

Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 99

By ....... - 23/06/2009 17:56 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 46

Time to bail

By Anonymous - 03/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I'm so tired of life. I work 16 hour shifts. My fiancee takes me for granted and I mean that seriously, I have to work 16 hours, 5 days a week, come home, take care of the house and the kids, while I listen to her complain about her 40 hour week. No sex and I don't control my money. I hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 336

Understanding

By Anonymous - 11/11/2023 06:00

Today, after I met a girl on Tinder I would very much like to date, we finally arranged our first date. As I rushed to my car in my best suit, I had a flat tire. The trains had stopped running, and a taxi to that distance was easily £200. She accused me of being a catfish and blocked my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 111

Bore off

By Anonymous - 16/01/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I keep getting ghosted on every platform. People seem interested until they see my face, and vanish. What gives? I'm plain but not unattractive, nor heavy or blemished. Just average. Boring average. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 154

Deal with your own shit

By ToxicFamily - 12/04/2025 03:00 - Germany

Today, I have a painful abscess with a bacterial infection near my bum that makes sitting or walking difficult, and a fever too due to it. The doctor gave me sick note and told me to rest, but my husband shouted at me for taking sick off when I "only" WFH. He also expects me to do house chores the whole day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 88

By jaivolétonnez - 17/06/2015 05:54 - France - La Courneuve

Today, in a train, I did the old "I've got your nose" trick for a kid. He got off at the next stop, then waved something at me from the platform, then yelled, "I've got your keys!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 144

Extreme

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I found out why my colleagues make me stand on the far left or far right of group photos. It’s so they could edit me out, because apparently me being obese “ruins” the photo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 228

Please be happy

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 15:00

Today, I went all out for my husband on our anniversary. I planned meals, took him to a stage show, and got him a bottle of cologne he loves. He was moody, distant, and at one point crying. Why? He found out his ex-wife is getting married today and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 86

He's a keeper

By Stephy - 21/01/2026 20:00

Today, my husband asked if he could join Tinder for some “hookups and that’s it” because he’s tired of jerking off. I told him, “Absolutely not.” He thinks I’m being selfish and inconsiderate. I’m 7 months pregnant; in fact, I offered to have pregnant sex with him. He said that my belly turns him off, “no offense.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 88

With friends like these…

By Anonymous - 13/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I found out my “friend” runs several incredibly racist and homophobic Christian nationalist social media blogs. That’s really funny considering that I, a black woman, have been in a relationship with her AND her husband for nearly five years now and wasn’t told any of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 193

Harness your hopes

By Debz - 24/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, my boyfriend took me to a restaurant for lunch and said, “It’s time we talk about our future.” I got all emotional, thinking he was going to propose. Instead, he calmly told me he’s moving to another country. I cried into my breadsticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 98

The Hobble

By Anonymous - 05/05/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, three days into my vacation, I ended up spraining not one, but BOTH of my ankles. Now my entire vacation will be spent healing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 91

Hang in there

By Jhmmm - 14/04/2026 12:00 - United States - Waterbury

Today, I found out my biological twin sister has a rare type of cancer. What also sucks is that I might have it as well, and I will get tested to find out soon. I’m so scared. I’m in my thirties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 55

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I rolled my ankle, got pink eye, and have the flu. Unable to stand long enough to cook myself a meal, I opted for delivery. When I opened the door for the delivery boy, he backed away frantically with his arms up upon seeing me. Apparently, I look just as shitty as I feel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 057

You deserved it 1 955

Today, some friends got upset with me as I wouldn't leave work early and cycle 12 miles to meet them to fix their punctures because they had no spare tubes or repair kits. The same friends that always mock me for being so prepared on bike rides. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 945

You deserved it 1 744

Today, I learned that you can be so sleep deprived that you sleep through your alarm, a construction crew outside your house, and your bladder completely voiding itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 132

You deserved it 2 791

Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 405

You deserved it 4 258

Today, I'm accepting professional defeat and preparing to move. My state has one of the lowest vaccine rates in the country. If I have to see another ICU full of people with Covid just because they chose not to get vaccinated, I'll become one of those doctors who think all patients are stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 472

Today, I realised I'm one of those people who can talk without caring if anyone is listening. I was telling my husband about something, and noticed he was asleep. I checked our living room camera. He was asleep when I got home and I just started talking, for 20 minutes, without realising he was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 1 302