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The all-time greatest FMLs

Hash it out

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 00:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I walked out of our house. My wife suddenly became quiet again because she was mad at me for an unknown reason. It's always like this, and it annoys me every time. She has too much pride and doesn't want to talk things out. I feel so sad, especially since we have a five-month-old baby. I want to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 158

Unwelcome

By Anonymous - 28/10/2025 12:00

Today, for my birthday, my mum got me a puppy. I have never expressed any interest in owning a dog. She insists it’s a thoughtful gift but when I look at it, all I see is a bunch of responsibility, training it, extra bills, smells, taking it for walks, chewed furniture. Bollocks to this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 108

Memes for life

By Anonymous - 10/07/2024 09:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, my dad got blind drunk at my son’s birthday party and decided to describe in bone chilling detail what “Hawk Tuah” meant to a bunch of kids. Hello therapy bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 128

Take the W

By Anonymous - 13/03/2026 03:00

Today, I won my custody battle and I get to keep my deceased husband's kids. I know I should be happy but I'm getting so much hate from my former in-laws for taking the kids away from their "real family", even though they wanted to stay with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 67

Confused as hell

By Anonymous - 01/06/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home and my wife was pissed that I'd forgotten our plans. She then refused to tell me what I forgot and went to bed. I know my memory’s bad so I always write stuff down, but there’s nothing on our joint calendar, nothing on my calendar, no Post-it notes, texts, or emails, nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 100

Give peace a chance

By Anonymous - 05/04/2026 03:00

Today, I found out that my mom withdrew me from karate at the insistence of my my fucking stepdad, who's a wimpy sissy pacifist who is against violence. I was so close to getting my black belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 90

Misguided

By Anonymous - 27/10/2023 22:00

Today, my dad invited me to a bar that turned out to be a brothel, because “it’s pathetic that I’m still a virgin and it’s past time I just get it over with.” I’m not a virgin, I’ve just never been with a woman because I’m gay and still haven’t told my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 207

Never look at the DMs

By Anonymous - 14/12/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went onto my fiance's phone because I was seeing if a message was important enough go wake him up for. It wasn't important, but when I unlocked his phone, Facebook was already open with his female best friend's chat. He pretty much admitted to her that he still has feelings and that she's a better mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 179

By Smeagogole - 02/07/2015 04:30 - France - Villeurbanne

Today, I found a friend's gold ring in some grass after a intense 10-minute search in the dark. As well as thanks, I've now got a new nickname. You can now call me Gollum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 67

Trigger happy

By Helen - 03/08/2025 03:00 - Netherlands - Creil

Today, my boyfriend saw a notification on my phone saying "Men's Singles". He lost his shit and dumped me. It was a tennis match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 103

Logan?

By Anonymous - 07/01/2023 00:00

Today, I got scammed and lost thousands of dollars, but my best friend would rather post on Instagram than reply to my texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 850

Target goals

By Anonymous - 17/03/2026 15:00

Today, I officially completed my weight loss journey, only for my wife, who'd previously threatened to divorce me if I didn't lose weight, to tell me that she realized she liked me better when I was fat and that "you don't know what you have until it's gone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 75

By Anonymous - 06/05/2015 05:24 - France

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's scared because her period is late, and that they're usually on time. Five hours late apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 56

Help out!

By Anonymous - 08/06/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as I’ve been doing our family tree, it's become clear to me that every man who has married into my wife’s family for at least 4 generations has died within 15 years of the wedding. It’s our 13th anniversary next month. Two years to go. Someone help me by keeping their fingers crossed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 75

RIP

By Anonymous - 04/02/2026 00:00

Today, someone took a shit on my father’s gravestone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 52

Sushi shit show

By Anonymous - 30/03/2023 00:00

Today, I tried to make homemade sushi for the first time. It ended up looking like a Jackson Pollock painting, and tasted like a shoe. My roommates politely declined when I offered them some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 288

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 21/05/2024 12:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I can't sit down for a book or some TV without my wife coming up and moaning at me to "get a hobby, get out of the house once in a while, you never do anything anymore." I have a healthy, balanced social life, but maybe I want to relax in my own house for once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 89

Mismatched

By Aubs - 13/12/2024 20:00 - United States - Glen Allen

Today, my friends were trying to set me up with one of their other friends. We were texting and I said, “How is your day so far?” He responded with, “Worse.” I said, “Oh no what happened?” You know what he said? “You.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 96

What what?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 1 516

Classic

By Anonymous - 01/11/2023 15:00 - Canada - Kitimat

Today, imagine getting involved with a guy that makes it pretty obvious he likes you, acts likes he’s single, to eventually find out yourself, months after being with him, that he indeed has a wife and kids. So you ask him about it and he deadass says, "Well you never asked.” Okay lol, stupid me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 114

How could you?

By Anonymous - 10/11/2024 00:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for "cheating" on him with his best friend. What did I do? I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek when I finally met him in person, after years of hearing about how great he is and how much we would get along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 194

I love that for you

By friboy2791 - 27/09/2021 17:01

Today, my long distance friend-with-benefits informed me she's now in a relationship with an amazing guy. I should be happier for her, as even I admit he is perfect for her. Too bad I just spent over a thousand dollars on plane tickets to visit her. The tickets are completely nonrefundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 948

Messy

By ZackAMole - 23/09/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I was finally about to propose to my girlfriend at a fancy restaurant. Just as I got down on one knee, the fire alarm went off and the entire restaurant had to evacuate. She thought I was joking, and now she’s mad at me for "messing with her emotions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 74

Acrophobia

By Matthew Smith - 21/06/2021 22:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my new drone got stuck on the neighbour's roof. I'd bought the drone to look at my roof because I don’t like going up on ladders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 664

Gutted

By G…… - 28/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try a new "exotic" restaurant that just recently opened. I paid almost a hundred bucks for a bowl of oily meat sludge and a bunch of mushy vegetables, then got to shit my brains out all night. Exotic my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 141

By thisblows - 11/04/2009 20:42 - United States

Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 52

By Anonymous - 18/06/2010 03:20 - United States

Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend, some of my friends decided to take me to a comedy club for a girls night. My friend's jealous husband decided he had to come along, then decided to invite my other friends' boyfriends. I ended up being the seventh wheel on a night meant to cheer me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 37

Terms and conditions

By fishyrael - 11/06/2024 16:00 - United States - Gregory

Today, after being slammed with an unexpected ER visit, a $1000 vet bill, and my roommate moving out with 36 hours notice, all in the same month, I just barely had enough money to cover rent. Then a subscription I didn't know I had charged me $310 with zero communication. They won't give my money back. Fuck you, Noom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 154

The long game

By Not this again.... - 26/09/2023 16:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 160

Ed Shitran

By Lucky Willis - 16/10/2021 11:00 - United States - Sebring

Today, I wrote a song for my ex-girlfriend, hoping maybe we could give it another try. I emailed it to her and went about my day, wondering if she would respond. About six hours later, a deputy knocks on my door and serves me with an order of protection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 1 723

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The Top

Today, I nearly got written up for "publicly humiliating" a coworker. All because I left a note in the restroom asking whoever keeps peeing all over the floor to please be considerate of other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 265

You deserved it 1 031

Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I haven't even taken a pregnancy test yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 904

You deserved it 31 039

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 192

You deserved it 31 022

Today, I wanted to ask out this cute girl I used to work with. Before I could, she said she likes my only friend there, and asked if could I set them up. Trying to be nice guy and good friend, I did. Then she made her complete lack of interest in me obvious. But hey, at least the gay guy she hung out with thought I was cute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 172

Today, my fiancé “thought he should let me know” that he has a 3 year-old son. We’ve been together for 7 years and our wedding is this weekend. He says it’s no big deal, because, “It was just a one-night stand and she has a new man now.” He doesn’t get why I’m angry and calling off our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 558

You deserved it 146

Today, I'm being forced to go back to my parents', who kicked me out because they thought I was gay. I'm not. There was a misunderstanding. I don't want to go back to them because they've shown me what kind of people they are, even if I'm straight, but the police and Social Services are making me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 107