Love: Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s....

Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML

By Alice

92 years old FML

It's been three weeks since that I've been searching (and finding) for w ays to make the traditional introduction as short as possible....

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By KarlwithaK / Tuesday 19 May 2009 03:29 / United States

Love

Proactive

Beggars can be choosers

On the ball

By lostwife - United States

Today, I lost my job for taking an unauthorized vacation. I just got married and requested time off for the wedding and honeymoon months ago; it was approved then. They forgot, and then got angry because I didn't remind them. I did remind them, the day before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43224

You deserved it

2652

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By Anonymous - United States - Beaumont

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40370

You deserved it

8338

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By whatjusthappened - United States - Federal Way

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44051

You deserved it

4902

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By Skittles

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, we were trying this strawberry flavored lube which had a very strong candy smell. My husband starts laughing mid-performance, looks me in the eye, and exclaims "F*CK THE RAINBOW, TASTE THE RAINBOW!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

4696

You deserved it

1234

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By nosebleeder - Sweden

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31564

You deserved it

8747

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By SINGLE - Australia

Today, I planned my own wedding down to the very last detail, including favours for my guests, the sweets buffet and the bouquet of flower brooches I want. Too bad I'm still single. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11824

You deserved it

37661

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By ugh - United States - Agoura Hills

Today, I crashed my car into a bridge, while playing a song with the line, "I crashed my car into a bridge". FML

I agree, your life sucks

21700

You deserved it

5810

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By Anonymous - United States - Amherst

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45242

You deserved it

13852

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By Crappit - United States

Today, my roomate thought it would be funny to take pictures of my morning wood and put it up on Facebook for everyone to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28315

You deserved it

3348

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By OwMyBalls

Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35926

You deserved it

6447

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By Anonymous - Canada - Charlottetown

Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41792

You deserved it

3406

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By SadIndianLife - India - Delhi

Today, my girlfriend's mother is more into me than she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23363

You deserved it

2230

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By neoteck - France

Today, I was talking to a charming young lady on MSN by webcam. She suddenly asked me to take my glasses off for a minute; I did so, and she said, "Oh never mind, you're still just as ugly..." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26015

You deserved it

2537

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By Just_do_it_17 - United States

Today, after being out of the closet for over three years, I learned that some of my friends still don't believe me that I am really a lesbian. They still think I made the whole thing up because I can't get a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40896

You deserved it

8043

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By mudy247

Today, it took me longer than it should have with a bit of calculations to remember how old I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3362

You deserved it

835

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By pornhastaughtmenothing - United States - Tacoma

Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42270

You deserved it

11559

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By wow - United States - Cape Coral

Today, my mother told me that I was "made" in the bathroom of the store I work at now. She even pointed out which stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60858

You deserved it

5414

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By HT BaaFly - United Kingdom

Today, after months of unemployment, my only social interaction was with my postman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23157

You deserved it

5393

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By Unappreciated Grandchild - United States - Bel Air

Today, I looked over to see my grandfather looking thoughtfully at me. Feeling flattered because he rarely shows affection, I waved at him. He then said, "I was looking out the window" and continued to stare past my head out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20784

You deserved it

2113

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By unlucky_vee_13 - United States

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

72076

You deserved it

5010

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By shakyhands - United States

Today, my dad was stupid enough to think that the kitchen sink is a good place to clean a gas tank. Now, the whole house smells of gas fumes and I'm about to pass out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32661

You deserved it

4201

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By Anonymous - 5/12/2020 23:01

Looking good

Today, I was at a grocery store buying ice cream after the tragedy of losing my grandma. When I got to the cash register, the cashier saw the sadness in my eyes and said, "It's OK, you'll find the one someday, one that can look at your inner beauty and not care about the rest." He thought I'd got broken up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

906

You deserved it

128

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By Tree - France

Today, my husband told me "The only reason I stay with you is because it's cheaper than paying child support." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42981

You deserved it

5759

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By who knows - 5/2/2020 14:00 - United States - Mankato

Tell me the reason

Today, someone took my phone away. Why? Because I was texting my ex-boyfriend who cheated on me with one of my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

544

You deserved it

3221

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Aylesbury

Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46221

You deserved it

4519

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45386

You deserved it

8271

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By me - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49160

You deserved it

24073

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By What? - United States - Needham

Today, I overheard a conversation between coworkers, during which my name was mentioned, then, "and then I followed her around for a bit, but she didn’t do it again." Everyone laughed. I've no idea what I did that was so funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25067

You deserved it

2190

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By Thank you, exactly what I wanted Sergeant

Today, my drill sergeant found out it's my birthday. I spent the rest of the day scrubbing large, filthy pots for the entire base of 2000+ and scrubbing grime off of bathroom walls. Happy birthday to me! FML

I agree, your life sucks

16427

You deserved it

1548

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By Eeeek - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14081

You deserved it

52635

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By gettinganF - United States - Severn

Today, while in class, my friend would not stop annoying me by tapping me on the shoulder every so often. After the fifth time, I lost my patience, told him to F off, and slapped his hand. Only it wasn't my friend tapping my shoulder this time, it was my teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13247

You deserved it

2376

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By innocent cat lady - United States

Today, my boyfriend freaked out at me because he found a couple of orange hairs in my bed and he knows my ex is a redhead. He also knows I have two orange cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28097

You deserved it

2447

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By jalisc512 - United States - Aurora

Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42333

You deserved it

5481

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By skinnybitch

Superficial

Today, my Tinder date took one look at me and left, because, "the camera" made me "look thick" and he, "can’t date a skinny bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1608

You deserved it

194

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By prisonbitch - United States

Today, after five different interviews, I got an offer for a great job. I was excited to fill out paperwork and get the ball rolling, until they called and said that I didn't pass the criminal background check. I get off probation in less than a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13164

You deserved it

38535

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By kyle - United States

Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41791

You deserved it

3689

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By see you next cunt - United States

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59818

You deserved it

5103

Favorite

By skigal24 - United States

Today, my only motivation to get out of bed was cupcakes in the refrigerator. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32576

You deserved it

16532

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By sad - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42069

You deserved it

7801

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By applegreen - Ireland - Limerick

Today, while getting a breast exam for some suspicious lumps, I was lying on the table with my boobs exposed and I learned my doctor is afraid of wasps. I had to chase the wasp out whilst topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6486

You deserved it

482

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Top comments

By amy397123 | 0

#211068 - Tuesday 19 May 2009 12:07

Great grandma?
Woo, Cougar much!

By FMY_FYL | 0

#211069 - Tuesday 19 May 2009 12:07

Well at least you are, in fact, somebody's type after all.

COMMENTS

By amy397123 | 0

#211068 - Tuesday 19 May 2009 12:07

Great grandma?
Woo, Cougar much!

happy_animal_lov | 0

#1037802 - Monday 21 June 2010 5:33

awww, when I saw this I thought a girl might have written it!

jefffluffingham | 5

#3471571 - Saturday 22 October 2011 15:04

no, cougars cant be older than 50.
she's a mellencamp.

pretty_coin | 11

#3476015 - Sunday 23 October 2011 12:49

Don't judge the Great-Granny. Great-Grannies have needs too!!..... (I guess?)

johnnythan | 2

#3507691 - Saturday 29 October 2011 7:31

I see what you did there...

bamagrl410 | 31

#3592797 - Wednesday 16 November 2011 8:16

Awwwwkward...

Toasty283 | 8

#5475165 - Thursday 2 May 2013 15:13

I'm dying!

By FMY_FYL | 0

#211069 - Tuesday 19 May 2009 12:07

Well at least you are, in fact, somebody's type after all.

theeteodoro | 0

#1101134 - Saturday 17 July 2010 10:18

hahahahahahahaha, graaannddmaass aa freeeaak!!

By Tsukasa_fml | 0

#211073 - Tuesday 19 May 2009 12:08

Disturbing.

By hsdffk | 0

#211095 - Tuesday 19 May 2009 12:20

if youre hot you cant help it
even grandmas want some ass
but if youre ugs then
...
yeah

EvilCupcake8361 | 9

#1293666 - Tuesday 24 August 2010 7:03

lol, hot grandma sex anyone?? ;)

kareltje | 17

#3471509 - Saturday 22 October 2011 14:40

Eeww... I think I just...

By ILIEKGIRLS | 5

#211099 - Tuesday 19 May 2009 12:22

LOL.

By bbq45 | 0

#211102 - Tuesday 19 May 2009 12:24

Damn! lol did she meen that in a sexual way? XD

nop200 | 3

#5181388 - Saturday 24 November 2012 18:00

Nope, definitely not.

By jazminbliss | 0

#211106 - Tuesday 19 May 2009 12:28

eek. That is just......wow....fyl

By DickVanDyke | 0

#211117 - Tuesday 19 May 2009 12:39

GILF. I'd tap that. And think about it, if the sex was bad, she has Alzheimer's and won't remember it.

vball_luvah | 2

#977663 - Sunday 11 April 2010 7:28

more like GGILF. ughh.

iluvfmls456 | 0

#2188798 - Wednesday 16 March 2011 11:19

what is GILF?

astriofou | 0

#2377545 - Wednesday 20 April 2011 12:42

saggy momma sex. get the picture.. let me emphasize.. (((((SAGGY))))) is hard to do when the beef curtains are under so much skin. mind that le momma forgets dont smoke them cigarettes x3

stephan18 | 23

#3308441 - Sunday 18 September 2011 23:13

Or she forgets who you are during sex and ends up accusing you of rape, if she remembers...

44skull44 | 6

#3486113 - Tuesday 25 October 2011 6:25

G-ranny I-'d L-ike to F-*%k, but no i'd be REALLY creeped out

By iKaite | 0

#211120 - Tuesday 19 May 2009 12:42

#9, your friggin hilarious!

but yea, my granny has alzheimers, and she told me that she has never liked me that much and i was better before the sex change.

I'm a girl... so yea....

By Proudmary | 2

#211134 - Tuesday 19 May 2009 12:57

well, genetically speaking, you SHOULD look a bit like your great-grandfather, who is totally her type.