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The all-time greatest FMLs

Just vibing

By Anonymous - 15/09/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, it was our first kid-free weekend in almost two months, and I was hoping for a nice date night. Instead, she picked up two shifts at work and then had a girls' night. Don't worry, she assigned me a massive deep clean that ate up almost my entire weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 157

Retail work sucks

By Anonymous - 11/07/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a very rude older woman came in wanting to buy her first laptop. After a full hour showing her laptops and all the stuff you can do with them, she decided she didn’t want one. As a bonus, she told my manager, “He’s not very good at his job, is he?” Walk toward the light, you grave-dodging old bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 121

Hogwatch

By Anonymous - 05/12/2025 00:00

Today, I was once again berated by an idiotic parent. I’ve been called a filthy liberal, a groomer, and had my job threatened several times. All of this because I was teaching second graders about pronouns. You know, the part of English grammar that replaces a noun. Nothing political at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 118

Confusing

By so confused - 09/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 237

How can I resist you?

By Anonymous - 09/09/2023 23:30 - United States - Carson City

Today, my cat has a new ritual: As soon as he sees a human, he meows for a good ten minutes straight. Pettings, brushes, and toys have yet to get him to stop. His new favorite time to do it is 5 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 130

Get on with it

By Fred - 13/10/2025 09:00

Today, I got home at 6:30 after a 12-hour shift. I sat down on the sofa, and my wife immediately stomped in and said, "Why are you sitting doing nothing? Get up, there's a million things to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 79

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 21/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I can't sit down for a book or some TV without my wife coming up and moaning at me to "get a hobby, get out of the house once in a while, you never do anything anymore." I have a healthy, balanced social life, but maybe I want to relax in my own house for once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 86

Taking no chances

By Anonymous - 27/08/2023 18:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was sent 800 km home from my interstate job because I have the sniffles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 132

Calm your hormones, dude

By PinChi - 09/02/2022 17:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my girlfriend invited her sorority sister, who fled an abusive relationship, to live with us without asking me. This wouldn't be a problem, but her friend is easily two points hotter than her and…. thirsty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 1 917

Home sweet home, or not

By Anonymous - 04/03/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I returned from my holiday in Cairo and was planning to go straight to bed, seeing as I had landed at 2 a.m. All was going well, until I tried to open my front door and realised that I'd left my keys, my S23+ phone, and my wallet in the cab I took home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 224

Sleep cycles

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 08:00 - United States - Washington

Today, my roommate gets up at 3:30am for work and wakes me up each time. I try not to complain about it, but whenever I come back to the apartment at midnight, she gets mad that I woke her up. I told her that she wakes me up in the morning, but apparently that’s different because she’s going to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 150

Hash it out

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 16:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I walked out of our house. My wife suddenly became quiet again because she was mad at me for an unknown reason. It's always like this, and it annoys me every time. She has too much pride and doesn't want to talk things out. I feel so sad, especially since we have a five-month-old baby. I want to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 152

Third wheel of the third wheel

By jon - 26/02/2024 00:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went a double date with my coworker, his girlfriend, and her friend. After some drinks, her best friend stopped including me in conversations. We got back to my place and she was trying to fuck both of them, and ignored me all night. This is the third girl this happened with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 168

You done ****** up

By Anonymous - 13/01/2022 21:01 - South Africa - Bronkhorstspruit

Today, I briefed a developer to delete 57 email accounts. I sent the wrong screenshots; those were the ones the client asked to stay active. The clients now don't have access to their emails until the account gets restored. I feel like crawling into a hole and dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 1 270

Libs stop being cringe challenge

By I'mmessedup - 31/03/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I can't go on the internet without seeing my stupid fuck of a president staring down a US serviceman while deep throating a slice of pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 1 273

How's about you go **** yourself, knobhead?

By Anonymous - 26/07/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend of four years told me that I have a potty mouth and that I should clean it with Harpic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 328

Third wheel

By Anonymous - 19/04/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I was staying over at a friend's house for the weekend. Some girl he knows invited us over to watch a movie. She spent the whole time ignoring the movie and clinging to him, trying to get him to stay, and completely ignoring the fact that I was there and that he was basically my ride. I felt like walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 140

Is everything OK?

By Anonymous - 16/08/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son was so hungover at his wedding that he fell asleep standing at the altar and fell over onto his pregnant wife, knocking her backwards onto the floor. What should have been a happy occasion turned into a farce as we rushed her to hospital to check the baby was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 134

Freestyle

By Anonymous - 28/10/2024 22:00 - Germany - Jesteburg

Today, my dad gave a speech at my wedding. It started with, “Forty years ago, there was a tree…” and continued in the same vein about his work as a biologist. I might have been mentioned in passing. My new wife was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 85

I don't belong here

By Biker - 20/08/2024 20:00 - Germany

Today, I met a "nice guy." Unfortunately, he called himself that after following me on his bike for one and a half hours in the opposite direction of where he was supposed to be going, just to "coincidentally" meet me again. Get lost, you fucking creep! FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 71

Nice try

By Anonymous - 02/11/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend of 4 weeks tried to use sex to manipulate me. After sex, I was blissful and half asleep, which is the time she chose to tell me she has some credit card debt and could I please help her pay it off. £27,000. Yeah, no. Don’t let the door hit you on the way back to the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 125

Hoarder vibes

By Anonymous - 31/12/2024 06:00 - United States - Edison

Today, after finally convincing my wife to let me donate the piles of junk lying around, I was backing out of the driveway with a full load when she ran out going, "Wait, wait!" She wants to go through everything and try to sell it. Back to square fucking one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 103

Use protection

By Anonymous - 17/08/2022 12:00

Today, after I got pregnant off a dude who turned out to be married, and he'd told me he’d support me and the baby on the side, I had a miscarriage. Now he's pretending he doesn't even know me, and I can’t even tell his wife because without the baby, I can’t even prove we had sex that one time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 1 687

What happened?

By Someonethrowmeabone - 24/08/2024 08:00 - United States - New York

Today, I'd finally found a decent job after months of unemployment, I'd even got my kids into after-school care for my job. They'd told me they could handle my autistic son. I got them back at the end of the day today and they said not to bring them back. What the hell do I do now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 115

Get me out of here

By mirabelle - 06/11/2023 03:00

Today, my mom screamed at me for not saying “Thank you” after she gave me food. Yesterday, she screamed at me for thanking her. I’m 24 and can’t afford to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 121

No biggie

By Anonymous - 12/12/2025 12:00

Today, on a flight, a woman in a crop top reached up to get her bag from the overhead locker and her breasts ended up on top of my head for like a second. Total accident, no biggie. That was six days ago, we fly home tomorrow, and my wife hasn’t spoken a word to me since the breast thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 90

Time to unionize

By Anonymous - 31/03/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when our boss told us he was giving himself the same raise as everyone else was getting, we thought he was finally being a decent human being. Nope. He meant it literally. His raise to himself is the same amount as the other 12 employees' raises combined. His raise is 12x what ours is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 76

Sorry Sweaty

By 4th woman to cheat on me - 21/05/2024 17:00 - United States - Oakland

Today, my ex-girlfriend got really mad at me because she said all men treat her like a whore. She even got upset that she thinks that I might think of her the same way. I couldn't help but to laugh in her face, because she cheated on me with said men and the fact is that she's right. I'm sad, but It's done Sweetie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 144

Memes for life

By Anonymous - 10/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, my dad got blind drunk at my son’s birthday party and decided to describe in bone chilling detail what “Hawk Tuah” meant to a bunch of kids. Hello therapy bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 123

He said what?!

By Anonymous - 16/04/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I filed my taxes and I normally claim my parents as dependants. My taxes got rejected because my parents filed their taxes without informing me, and they don't have income. They believe if they file taxes, they get $5000 back, per Trump. It ended up costing me over $3,500 extra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 151

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I ran out of moving boxes so I used a few garbage bags to pack up my clothes. My new roommate decided to be helpful by putting those green garbage bags in the dumpster. It was garbage day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 352

Today, I just wanted to make a Sims 4 house, but it turns out that it hadn't been updated in a while, and I didn't even know. So, I am currently waiting for the update to download, and it's taking so longggg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 438

Today, while discussing my vegetable garden, my father's new girlfriend announced that she loves vegetables in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 352

You deserved it 425

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 643

You deserved it 16 910

Today, my girlfriend found a letter I'd written to myself for moral support while we were broken up, in which I explained why we would never work out. Apparently I made a convincing argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 297

You deserved it 37 920

Today, after my ex-husband always said we would never let our kids have screen time, since our divorce he has let screens do 100% of his parenting, while he day-drinks, and yet if I try to take the kids away from him, he threatens lawyers straight away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 174