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The all-time greatest FMLs

Good luck

By Anonymous - 17/01/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally came out to my parents and admitted that I’m HIV positive. Instead of being supportive, they made me call up all of my childhood friends and tell them to get tested. Playing at the park isn’t how it transmits, Mum and Dad… FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 181

Isn't this, like, a crime?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend blows weed smoke at me while I sleep. I don’t smoke. Then he turns off the Ring camera in the middle of the night and cheats on me with men that he finds on Grindr. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 164

Not now, little man!

By WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY - 30/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, this might sound silly, but would you like to know what I think is the absolute worst time to get an uncontrollable boner? I'll tell you: While a female doctor is examining your privates. I swear, if there's anything more embarrassing than that, I'd like to know, because I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 193

Fashion week

By Anonymous - 31/10/2022 04:00 - Germany

Today, I know my clothing size and the clothes I buy usually fit me. Except for underwear. How come women’s panties always seem to be at least one size smaller than advertised? FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 155

This is a low

By Anonymous - 23/05/2022 06:00

Today, I’m at a low point. I sank low enough to ask a coworker I don’t even like for a pity shag to boost my self esteem. The sex was great, excellent even, but when he left this morning I now feel even lower because I feel cheap and nasty, and I almost had to beg for someone to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 2 013

Some friend…

By Anonymous - 29/10/2022 16:00

Today, my friends and I went nuclear on a now former "friend," who we've discovered is a textbook narcissist. She unfriended all of us on all forms of social media, and tried to say WE unfriended HER, and overall tried to make it seem as though she was the victim. Thanks for proving my point, bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 299

Turned on… and off

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I was washing the dishes when my wife came in wearing a new lingerie set, smiling at me. I dropped what I was doing and carried her to bed. After we'd finished, she went downstairs for a drink, saw the dishes I hadn't cleaned, and started a fight. Now I'm on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 163

The itch

By Oh man, it itches - 27/05/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, I finally got prescribed something for my skin problems. The good news: It works really well. The bad news: When the doctor said one of the potential side effects was a "horrible rash," she really meant it when she said, "horrible." I swear to God, I was about to rip my chest open, due to it itching so hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 103

Stalking

By Idiot32 - 25/05/2019 02:00

Today, I saw my dad driving our red Dakota, and I thought it would be funny to tail him around town. It wasn't until I saw cop lights flashing in my rear-view mirror that I remembered that we'd given away our red truck. I'd scared an old lady so badly that she called the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 2 735

Impressive dating technique

By Anonymous - 23/01/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 219

Wicked

By lordoftheweird - 22/02/2023 21:00 - Canada

Today, I was accused of witchcraft. This is not the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 170

Cards on the table

By Anonymous - 21/07/2023 22:00

Today, I'm thinking of quitting the awesome job I love with coworkers I adore, because I keep fucking up every part of my job, making them pick up the pieces and correct my failures. They don't deserve this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 282

Mystery

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 00:00

Today, somewhere between home and work, my glasses vanished off my face. I know I had them on before I set off because I cleaned them in the car and put them on, then halfway to work I suddenly had to squint to see because glasses gone. I’ve been searching for an hour, they are nowhere. HOW? FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 166

Clique

By nick - 14/01/2024 03:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I’m being accused of groping and holding a drunk girl inappropriately at the party I hosted. I was literally holding her up, to prevent her from throwing up all over my floor and furniture. Her friends did a good job of just standing there, leaving me, a man, as the only one to help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 120

Congratulations…?

By grandpa - 29/12/2023 20:00 - Argentina

Today, my 16 year-old daughter thought it would be a great idea to announce at our Christmas dinner that she’s expecting twins, and that she wants to keep them. She doesn’t know who the dad is. Merry Christmas to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 234

That's so sick!

By Anonymous - 01/05/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I found out my wife of 5 years, with whom we have three kids, is actually my cousin. At a family dinner someone had pointed out how much she looks like my uncle. We laughed until she mentioned that she was adopted from the same town my uncle's ex-wife had a baby. A few questions and a blood test later, we all learned the sick truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 110

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 18/02/2022 14:00

Today, I fucked up my schedule on my final semester so bad I need to take a course from a community college at the same time I'm doing a full-time schedule at my university. This doesn't sound bad, but then the only course I could get into is at the same time as one of my university courses. I can't graduate otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 397

Fight!

By Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! - 17/08/2023 15:02 - United States

Today, it’s the first week of school and I’ve already had to schedule a sit down with two students’ families. The late great Jerry Springer would be proud of how many fists and chairs started flying barely after the introduction. I teach second grade and seriously weep for the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 105

70% less brain power

By RaastadAarseth - 27/07/2023 12:00

Today, I had a very hard and long exam and I was completely prepared for it. I was so confident in my abilities and I'd studied really hard. When I entered the exam hall and took the paper, I realized that I had forgotten to bring my calculator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 365

Panic in the streets of London

By iiiiiiii - 22/06/2022 14:00

Today, like every day, everyone blew up my phone at once and I began having a panic attack. Because I didn’t respond immediately, I was called rude and a bad person. Turning off my phone isn’t an option either, because my mom will come in my room and cuss me out for not responding to her texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 964

Under pressure

By Anonymous - 28/01/2024 21:00 - United States - Upland

Today, I have a family but I just feel all alone and unloved, almost on the verge of depression. I just wanna cry. My wife is always threatening me with divorce and says she can’t stand the sight of me, and my son hates me. I just wanna feel like somebody is there for me and that I can lean on someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 169

Never forget

By Anonymous - 02/12/2021 09:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up and went down to the park for a walk. I later realized I'd forgotten to bring the house keys with me, so I got stuck waiting until somebody opened the door for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 379

That's great honey!

By Anonymous - 09/05/2023 10:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on Bumble. He spent the entire time talking about his pet tarantula and showing me pictures of it, all while I made 'ooh' and 'aah' noises, as if the guy was a child showing me his kindergarten drawings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 263

We need to see the video!

By Lightweight - 08/03/2021 20:02

Today, I found out that while some people make out with others when drunk, I apparently sing a weird mash up between "Bad Romance" and Terry Pratchett’s Hedgehog song. My friends recorded it and posted it on Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 365

Shake the disease

By No rest for the wicked - 24/10/2023 08:00

Today, despite years of therapy, I still can’t seem to shake the religious indoctrination I suffered through for 20 years. I’m a morally good person who is kind, caring, and upstanding, yet I still have horrific anxiety and depression thinking that I’m going to hell for leaving religion. Nothing helps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 261

He has your…?

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, in the middle of my divorce, I got paternity tests for both my sons. God must hate me. My eldest son, a criminal currently in prison who I utterly despise, is my biological son, whereas my youngest, who makes me proud every day to be his father, is not my biological son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 266

Healthy lifestyle influencer

By Anonymous - 23/02/2023 22:00 - Canada

Today, I went to the gym and got locked in the locker room. I had to call the gym's phone number to get them to come let me out, after being in there for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 156

Sorry moley

By Ubehage - 15/03/2023 16:00 - Denmark

Today, I managed to fell a tree perfectly. It landed exactly where it should. Today is also the day I managed to Whack-a-Mole in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 141

A blessing and a curse

By Anonymous - 30/06/2023 06:00

Today, I realized nobody has ever asked me for nudes, slid into my DMs, sent me anything lewd, or commented on any of my photos. I guess I'm that unattractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 437

Happy New Year 2024!

By Anonymous - 31/12/2023 17:01 - United States

Today, I hate fucking existing. I could literally die right now and know one would ever even check on me for months. I’ve literally gone 4 months with no work, locked in my house the whole time, and never received a text, phone call, or a knock at the door. Not a single person thought about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 326

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 257

You deserved it 7 075

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm from eagerly scratching off a lottery ticket. No, I didn't win anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 274

You deserved it 17 109

Today, my husband refuses to have sex with me until I get my tubes tied. We both agree that we don't want children, but this seems to be an exaggerated reaction since he learned that most birth controls are not 100% effective. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 286

Today, I was at my boyfriends house and we were having sex. He has a game on in the background and one of his friends started talking to him. He immediately threw me off and said "I have to answer this." He went over to his computer and started talking to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 086

You deserved it 8 638

Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 425

You deserved it 19 391

Today, I finally met my dream woman: a smokin’ hot green-eyed petite redhead. Or so I thought. I met her online and “she” turned out to be a 22 year-old guy trolling me. The worst part is that I separated from my wife for this girl. She won’t take me back no matter how much I beg and plead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 4 163