The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Slippin' up

By Anonymous - 03/02/2022 04:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, someone told me to watch out for ice and slick spots. Gee, thanks. I could have used that information before I stepped out of my car and fell on some black ice. My left arm feels like it's on fire, and I'm left handed to boot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 256

Get on with it!

By Anonymous - 13/05/2023 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the supermarket to buy my weekly groceries and only realized after a long queue at the checkout, then having the cashier scan my entire cart, that I'd forgotten my purse. I had to leave everything behind and walk out empty-handed, while everyone in line behind me gave me dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 318

Pond life

By My new shoes might be too big - 14/05/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I was playing Spikeball with some friends when the ball got lost and went rolling towards a pond. As I sprinted to grab it before it fell in the water, my shoe came off, causing me to trip and faceplant into the mud. I then watched as the ball rolled into the pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 147

Not again…

By Anonymous - 18/10/2022 06:00

Today, I had a dissociative episode that lasted over an hour. The trigger was the Netflix show Hilda. Other triggers were the games Tekken and Diddy Kong Racing. It just seems random at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 221

Where are you?

By Budhvaraddams - 30/01/2023 18:30

Today, I had an important test at 7 in the morning, so I sat the alarm at 6 o'clock and fell asleep. Later I was woken up by a call from my friend asking me why I didn't show up for the test. It was 9:30. I'd sat the alarm at 6:00 PM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 579

Act your age

By notthatoldyet - 09/12/2021 10:59

Today, I was reliving my youth watching videos of *NSYNC on YouTube, when a suggested ad popped up for “Haircuts for women over 50.” I’m only 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 298

Candid camera

By Anonymous - 08/05/2020 23:00

Today, I prominently touched my boobs and put my hand inside my shirt to adjust my bra… all while I had my camera on during a Zoom meeting with the whole department FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 1 736

Brain worms

By Anonymous - 16/07/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my manager yelled at me for not supporting Trump, who "obviously is the best choice for president right now." We don’t even live in America, we live in England. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 143

No typing! Only petting!

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 15:00

Today, my cat decided to use my keyboard as a scratching post, and now my computer won't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 214

Renovations

By Anonymous - 01/01/2021 19:59 - Germany - Neusalza-spremberg

Today, after buying an old house that lacks plumbing a few weeks ago, I’m still crapping in a bucket in the barn. My two favorite Christmas gifts are still 2 pieces of rubber to dampen the noise from my new sewage pump and a used ceramic toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 337

Shit happens

By Anonymous - 24/07/2023 04:00 - United States - Apalachin

Today, my husband had a colonoscopy. Having spent yesterday hearing him complain about having only clear liquids and having to drink the required solution, he still was not cleaned out. We have to reschedule with two days of clear liquids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 114

Are you experienced?

By Karenfast17 - 03/03/2021 14:58 - Hong Kong - Kowloon

Today, I have to write my resume, and my teacher asked me about my secondary school activities. I'd never joined in any activities at that time, did no work experience, no volunteer work, except for two activities that I did in an institution centre this year. This all means I'm good at NOTHING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 351

Link?

By Anonymous - 26/04/2023 03:00

Today, while sprinting, I tripped, fell, and somehow managed to kick myself in the balls. Legs shouldn’t bend like that and I’m frankly amazed I didn’t break my knee. My wife got the whole thing on video too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 142

Nature finds a way

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 18:00 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 466

By la choupe - 20/04/2013 09:25 - Romania - Brasov

Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties, the house music of my neighbor, I’m now enduring the covers of traditional Romanian songs with a flute by my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 77

Countdown

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom - Normanton

Today, my wife was screaming at our son over his maths homework, so I poked my nose in to help calm them down. My wife was not happy when I pointed out that most of her calculations and answers were wrong, whereas our son got most of his right. I’m now in the doghouse because my wife can’t count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 103

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 16:00 - Sweden - Linköping

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 99

City boy

By Anonymous - 10/01/2024 00:00 - Switzerland

Today, I walked 30 minutes with my new boyfriend from my chalet to the local supermarket, cutting through the woods. It was dark, but the moon shone bright and we had torches. He was so scared, he startled at every noise and even cried. When we got to town, he dumped me, and left on the next train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 175

Frenemies

By Anonymous - 09/09/2023 00:02

Today, after my sister and I got pregnant, we couldn’t wait for our kids to be best friends. The moment they could walk, they hated each other with hitting, kicking, biting, you name it. Far from cute, we now have to watch them like hawks during visits to prevent injury, and they’re only 2 years-old FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 249

My window

By Anonymous - 20/05/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my new neighbour is delusional. She’s only lived next door 3 weeks and she’s called the police on me 11 times for “taking his bin out so he can look in my window”, “hanging out the washing so he can look in my window” and “barbecuing with his kids so he can look in my window.” Crazy bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 67

Chase me!

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 00:30

Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 266

Can't turn it off

By Anonymous - 28/11/2021 23:01

Today, I got a new job where one of my co-workers is someone I have been in love with for over 5 years now. She's married but my feelings for her just won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 794

Rain check?

By emberstormmm - 03/06/2023 03:00

Today, my family was going to have lunch with my parents' friends, who have a kid my age who is very similar to me, and is really cute. I wanted their number to see if it could turn into something beyond friendship, so I dressed up cute and did extra flawless makeup. All for the lunch to be canceled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 213

Probably for the best

By Anonymous - 22/05/2023 15:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I had a job interview for a position at a police station. I asked to use the restroom and accidentally opened the wrong door, locking myself in a stairwell. I had to knock on the door until somebody let me out. Safe to say I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 195

Comedy roast

By bad auntie! - 21/11/2022 03:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I have been teaching our son to deal with bullies using peaceful conflict resolution techniques. My younger sister however thought it’d be a good idea to teach him how to “roast” his bullies back. So far he’s made three kids cry and I have to see the principal. Thanks Sis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 755

Thanks Mom

By melissa - 13/12/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my school sent me an email saying I would be transferred to another class this Monday. I told my mom about it. Turns out my drunk mom ran into my teacher at a bar and started berating her for being at the bar, instead of grading her “kid’s exam already.” I’m a high school senior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 94

Hey human, I'm right here

By Not now - 12/09/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I've realized that my cat doesn't give me the time of day, unless I'm trying to do something that's difficult with a cat present, or at the very least makes it impossible for me to give him attention. Then he's all over me. It's a vicious cycle, with no end in sight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 345

It was fun while it lasted

By Anonymous - 29/04/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my toxic mother-in-law's retirement plans include moving in with us when she gets old. The death glares I’m getting from my wife right now are so worth the satisfaction I got from telling that evil old bat I’d burn the house down first before I let her move into it with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 114

Grossed out

By Jodi Sanford - 09/10/2021 11:01

Today, I asked my roommate to spit in the toilet instead of the sink so I wouldn't have to touch it. When I rinsed the sink after brushing my teeth, he said, "Why would you touch the sink? It’s gross." FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 316

Early bird booze special

By Anonymous - 22/12/2022 18:00

Today, I received an invitation to a Happy Hour happening tomorrow. It's at 6 a.m. How am I supposed to drink at 6 a.m.? FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 210

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The Top

Today, I was about to enter a hotel with a friend-with-benefits. We then saw her boyfriend exiting the same hotel with another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 2 007

Today, my coworkers had a Thanksgiving party, but it was Christians only, so I wasn't invited. I'm an expat, and I don't know any other Americans here. I was lonely, so I invited a non-American friend out to dinner. She said she couldn't go because she was invited to a Thanksgiving party. I spent the evening alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 176

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 160

You deserved it 2 479

Today, I found out my new Commanding Officer is my ex-wife's new boyfriend. We're going on a two year tour at sea in two weeks. The reason we got a divorce is that she couldn't handle being tied down with someone in the Navy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 400

You deserved it 3 465

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 633

You deserved it 17 986

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he never wants to sleepover anymore. He said he loves me, but that sleeping next to me is like sleeping next to someone reenacting the crucifixion while being mauled to death by squirrels. So much for cuddling through the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 225