Nice guys

By Anonymous - 13/06/2021 19:59

Today, having split up with my husband, I tried to plan visitation so he could visit my sons, his stepkids, only to be told he has no intention of visiting kids that aren’t actually his, and that now we’re divorced they're entirely my problem and good riddance. FML
I agree, your life sucks 638
You deserved it 1 014

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Did you live together for a long time so that your kids consider him as their father?

I won't say "you deserved it", but you shouldn't expect him to want to visit "step kids". let your sons know of his decision, and let them make the choice if they want to communicate with him.

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Did you live together for a long time so that your kids consider him as their father?

I won't say "you deserved it", but you shouldn't expect him to want to visit "step kids". let your sons know of his decision, and let them make the choice if they want to communicate with him.

Depending on age they may see him as a dad. We see him as a jerk. I hope the kids get therapy and in a big siister/brother program

This a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. On one hand, he was living with the kids for awhile atleast, so he should want to see them somewhat, but I can see why he wouldn’t want to as well (like he basically said already). I have to wonder though, if your sons made your soon to be ex husband’s life a living hell while you were married, leading to his reaction.

My ex was like this with our children, HOS biological children. some guys are just asses and it has nothing to do with the childrens' behavior.

Not necessarily. My mom was married to my stepdad, and when I was a kid, my sister and I made my stepdad’s life a living hell, to the point when he and my mom almost got divorced, he straight up told her that if they go through with the divorce, he doesn’t want to see either of us (the kids). Of course, we mellowed with him when we got older (and I even apologized for making his life hell when I was 21 and in the Navy). I would not have held it against him for never wanting to see my sister or I ever again if they had gotten divorced. Also remember this, even women can be asses just like men. My first wife has not seen our kids since she walked out on us when I was at work and she dropped them off at my moms.

Sadly, you have no legal standing to demand visitation for his former step children. It sucks, if they love him and want to see him. I'm sorry.

Same thing happened to me. Let him go. He’s a piece of crap. He definitely will regret it later.

This seems pretty reasonable. I could see him wanting visitation if the marriage was 5+ years. Though even then it's his call. Feels kinda bad for the kids if they've bonded. I have an ex who changes bf about every year her little one has known about 6 temporary father figures so far...

That’s why my current wife never met my kids and I never met hers until we had been dating 6 months. I wanted to avoid things like that

While it sucks for the kids(depending on the ages) he has ZERO legal obligations to your children. My ex-wife did the same thing with my daughter from before we got together. She was mom for 10 years then after the divorce not even an email/text message. She was 12 when we divorced.

as a mom who's kiddo has a bonus mom, I can tell you if her dad and his gf split up, my kiddo wouldn'tgive two loads of poop whether or not she continued contact with the bonus mom. even when she's known her since she was 3. kiddos a preteen now

I'm not surprised. It sucks but he's right. They're not his kids.

They're not his kids so they are solely your problem.