By Louis Who's responsible? Ep#2 The investigation is still underway… This week we're finding out who's making hoverboards so prevalent on FML. 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By New deal Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "No", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "Deal." FML I agree, your life sucks 2579 You deserved it 259 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML I agree, your life sucks 5351 You deserved it 405 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mrb72 - United States Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML I agree, your life sucks 27459 You deserved it 19113 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. Couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML I agree, your life sucks 5813 You deserved it 935 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, due to my lagging browser, I accidentally "liked" a status my friend made about the deterioration of her relationship. Then, the computer froze, making it impossible to "unlike" it immediately. My friend won't accept that it was a mistake. FML I agree, your life sucks 29920 You deserved it 5716 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Foufinator - France Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML I agree, your life sucks 49024 You deserved it 3545 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NaCl - United States - Duluth Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML I agree, your life sucks 49555 You deserved it 4040 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dontgothere - United States - Egg Harbor Township Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML I agree, your life sucks 57383 You deserved it 6682 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymouss - United States Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said "you're welcome" and now they're going out. FML I agree, your life sucks 27023 You deserved it 45172 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By homewrecker - United States Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML I agree, your life sucks 82850 You deserved it 6563 310 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lily - United States Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 16417 You deserved it 134096 165 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Sweden - Alings?s Today, the paternity test came back. It's like I suspected all along; my "son" is actually my half-brother. FML I agree, your life sucks 21250 You deserved it 1838 161 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Ireland - Waterford Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML I agree, your life sucks 33569 You deserved it 4004 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 11niko - United States Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butt hole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML I agree, your life sucks 23986 You deserved it 6976 226 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML I agree, your life sucks 39615 You deserved it 5576 232 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Netherlands Today, my now ex-boyfriend told me that I was the one. Not at this moment though, he wants to see how far he can go with his best female friend. But once he's done with her, we can be together. FML I agree, your life sucks 24285 You deserved it 1874 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was pitching at a fastpitch softball game. The other team chanted about the ball being too high and almost hitting the batter in the eye. After throwing the next pitch, the ball was savagely returned by the batter, straight into my eyes. FML I agree, your life sucks 23296 You deserved it 2767 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thenewgirl - United States - Jacksonville Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML I agree, your life sucks 36987 You deserved it 3868 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By No Nip Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML I agree, your life sucks 1886 You deserved it 453 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hadrienne's pall - Canada - Markham Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML I agree, your life sucks 11878 You deserved it 4208 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Female - United States Today, I went to a conference for work. When I got there I sat beside a woman about my age. She immediately got up and moved to the opposite side of the room. We were the only two there. FML I agree, your life sucks 24579 You deserved it 6117 197 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Chicago Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML I agree, your life sucks 41893 You deserved it 4629 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cherie - United States Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML I agree, your life sucks 40090 You deserved it 6792 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ProudMother - United Kingdom - Telford Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML I agree, your life sucks 34656 You deserved it 4599 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MsCobb - United States - Columbus Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML I agree, your life sucks 37264 You deserved it 6130 203 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rejected - Australia - Brisbane Today, my mother was reading an annual Christmas letter from an old university friend. When she remarked that she could have married him instead of my father, I replied that she wouldn't have had me then. She then said, "Exactly, I could have had his daughter instead." FML I agree, your life sucks 48552 You deserved it 4093 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rj93 - United Kingdom Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML I agree, your life sucks 44294 You deserved it 5828 253 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Emma - United Kingdom - Rawtenstall Today, I had a job interview where I was asked, "Who is your best friend?" I replied truthfully, "My cat", only to then be asked what my cat would describe as my best qualities, which didn't go far beyond, "Remembering to feed him". They weren't impressed. FML I agree, your life sucks 19657 You deserved it 5437 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thenewgirlfriend - United States - League City Today, I cut my bangs. When I asked my boyfriend if he liked it he said, "It's like I'm dating a new girl, this way I won't get bored with you." FML I agree, your life sucks 50547 You deserved it 8022 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HarryBeast - Canada Today, I pulled out three chips from a bag. There were two round ones, and a skinny one, making it look like a penis. I laughed. I'm 33. FML I agree, your life sucks 9925 You deserved it 32719 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Calgary Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML I agree, your life sucks 53794 You deserved it 6255 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fmlfmlfml - United States Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!". He got mad and left my house. It was my dad from Ohio. FML I agree, your life sucks 53263 You deserved it 4826 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By housematefromhell Today, my housemate revealed her supposed loss of function of her arm was all a lie. I spent hours in the ER with her and had to go to work the next day. Last time she lied about cancer. I'm stuck sharing with her for another 7 months. FML I agree, your life sucks 3635 You deserved it 350 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hanzastfu - United States Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML I agree, your life sucks 34696 You deserved it 9287 165 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Liz - United States Today, my boss became very angry over her own mistake on a spreadsheet. She lashed out by throwing a can of SpaghettiOs at my head. FML I agree, your life sucks 32803 You deserved it 2612 210 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Traverse City Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML I agree, your life sucks 36219 You deserved it 4903 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hannah - United States Today, I got excited because I found a chat line for teens who are dealing with depression. I signed up and was about to enter the chat room and then a message popped up that said ''Sorry this is only available for teens in the United Kingdom.'' FML I agree, your life sucks 28743 You deserved it 4432 188 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JulietMarie Today, I met my older sister's cute male roommate. Everything was going smoothly until he asked if I was her mother. I’m only 20. FML I agree, your life sucks 2279 You deserved it 173 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Brookhaven Today, my 45-year-old child of a mother made such a dramatic scene over finding a hair in her food that the initially apologetic owners ended up kicking my family out. FML I agree, your life sucks 19221 You deserved it 1447 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By failure - Korea, Republic of - Seoul Today, my boss brought her cat to work. At one point, I looked up and everyone was staring at me staring at the cat's asshole. FML I agree, your life sucks 36744 You deserved it 15681 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent... I agree, your life sucks 79 You deserved it 19 0 Comments
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 695 You deserved it 154 7 Comments