Performing this weekend only, the Moscow Genitalia Ballet invites you to "Penis Lake" on Saturday, and "The Nutcracker" on Sunday.

As an native german speaker I laughed very hard at this. FYL for that innocent but hilarious mistake.

This is why other languages are hard. Think VERY carefully about word choices before speaking. I have made this same mistake several times with some of my non native languages.

In Kick-Ass 2, when Jim Carrey yells "SCHWANZ!" his dog bites the bad guys' aforementioned appendage.

German is my native language, so to avoid further misconceptions: "Schwanz" actually means "tail" like the tail of a cat or dog or other animal. But it is casually used as a slang word for penis, like you would use **** which is originally a male chicken.

as a german speaking person i have to say that is hilariously funny OP, sorry if it made you feel bad though^^