Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on Bumble. He spent the entire time talking about his pet tarantula and showing me pictures of it, all while I made 'ooh' and 'aah' noises, as if the guy was a child showing me his kindergarten drawings. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really liked. He spent the whole time talking about his pet iguana and how it's the love of his life. FML
Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML
Today, I met my Bumble date. I was so excited because it’s my first date in 6 years. We exchanged hellos and he said he needed to use the restroom. Turns out he left. When I messaged him to ask what happened, he told me, “I agreed to go on a date with the hot girl in the photos, not a contestant from 'My 600lb Life'.” FML
Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML
Today, I went on a Tinder date with a guy who said, "Good girl" whenever I said anything that he agreed with. FML
Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML
Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML
Today, I agreed to go on a date with this really nice guy. Halfway through the date, he started talking about his wife and kids. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML
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Top comments
maskedangel 11
What’s wrong with that?? I love my tarantulas
Anderling 33
He actually sounds really sweet and happy with his pet, and I hope he finds someone who will love both him and the spider.
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Comments (4)
Anderling 33
He actually sounds really sweet and happy with his pet, and I hope he finds someone who will love both him and the spider.
maskedangel 11
What’s wrong with that?? I love my tarantulas
Thaylok 17
Give him another chance. He is passionate about something that (while you may find it odd) brings joy. He may actually be pretty shy and hard to find other things to talk about YET. Give him a chance to redeem himself, after you mention you would like a little more attention and talk about other topics. In fact, Give him a list of things that you can both talk about and let him prepare.
IHaveThePower 18
I swear, half these FMLs about dating are just 'this guy LIKES THINGS and HAS HOBBIES and that is SO CRINGE!'. Send some of these guys my way, they sound interesting. (Or gals, too.)