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The all-time greatest FMLs

Modesty

By Prudemama - 09/07/2022 10:00

Today, I found out that my 11 year-old daughter dresses skimpy when I drop her off on the weekends at my ex-husband’s house, courtesy of his girlfriend, who he cheated on me with. When I confronted her, she told me to “stop being such a prude” and with my attitude, “no wonder you get cheated on.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 188

Absentee parents

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 18:01 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I have to start completely over on my degree and life, because I was so busy raising my sister that I never got to plan my career out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 159

Different roads

By sabrina k - 29/01/2022 23:01

Today, the professionally-installed sex swing ceiling mount my husband insisted on, but never lasted long enough to make use of, was converted into a baby suspension swing for our toddler. He was right about it, but I still can’t admit it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 335

Get some rest

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 18:01

Today, I dislocated my shoulder doing a really big stretch when I woke up. After the doctor relocated it, my dad told me I still had to do my chores. No excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 145

Hangry boi

By Anonymous - 11/04/2022 14:00

Today, thanks to my wife’s obsession with expensive foods like chutney, relishes, exotic spices, and preserved foreign vegetables and herbs, I'm literally staring into a fridge full of glass jars, with a door that barely stays closed, and yet has nothing inside suitable to eat for my dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 226

Assumptions

By sama - 06/01/2021 11:03 - United States - San Jose

Today, I was asked why I have stretch marks when I’m skinny. The stretch marks are from when I was recovering anorexic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 115

Official notice

By Anonymous - 01/07/2021 08:01

Today, my daughter wrote a statement refusing to have to look after her brother in the event me and my husband die, then had it made into a legal document by a notary. I love my boy, but he's dumb as a rock and will probably be a lifelong burden to us, so I don’t even blame her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 294

Covidiots just wanna have fun

By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 13:59

Today, I've been in lockdown for so long, I got turned on by washing carrots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 236

Just the two of us

By Anonymous - 15/04/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I was at the gym, well intent on trying a new workout class. I was the only person in the class and the instructor was clearly disappointed. He reluctantly gave me the class but I could tell he was hating the whole experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 132

Narcolepsy

By Isuckreallybad - 06/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 447

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 303

Overreacting much?

By But you drink alcohol though - 19/04/2023 03:00

Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 729

Retail work is hell

By Anonymous - 12/06/2021 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a girl threatened to castrate me if I didn’t refund her for a remote control that SHE damaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 73

Kids can be a dealbreaker

By Anonymous - 18/03/2022 12:00

Today, the new guy at work who’s been flirting with me outrageously found out I’m newly-divorced, with a baby daughter. He ghosted me so fast and started outrageously flirting with someone else in our office, who by the way he checked to make sure she doesn’t have kids first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 351

I'll be giving some thanks alright!

By Thanksgiving Ruined - 26/11/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I saw an e-mail notification for my husband regarding a flight to New York this Wednesday. Thanksgiving is on Thursday and we have no relatives in New York. When I asked him about it, he confessed that he’s gonna see a lady he met online and that he wants a divorce. I’m due to give birth next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 124

Bumpy ride

By Anonymous - 16/07/2021 04:01

Today, I have a skin disease that causes my arms and legs to have small, but noticeable, red bumps on them. Trying to stay confident, I put on a swimsuit and went to the pool, only to be bumped into by a cute guy, who then asked why my arms were so "bumpy and disgusting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 116

Spooky season

By fishyrael - 13/10/2022 00:00 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I took a nap before work. I had a harrowing nightmare in which I was chased by a murderer and the ghosts of his victims at my job. I then woke up to go to work, where I work the night shift, completely alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 130

Awkward

By Anonymous - 07/12/2020 14:02

Today, I was ghosted by my next door neighbor, who I've been seeing/hooking up with for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 331

Take your medication

By my brain sucks! - 10/03/2022 22:00

Today, I’ve been getting my ass handed to me by my anxiety for nearly a year. I talked to my doctor about starting meds. I got so terrified of the possible side effects that I not only had an anxiety attack, I also had a panic attack. I still couldn’t bring myself to take the pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 258

Thanks, great feedback everyone!

By Anonymous - 27/01/2021 23:01

Today, after years of not meeting my partner's family, along with the new arrival of our daughter, we decided to travel to meet them all and introduce our bundle of joy. Instead of the usual welcoming committee, all they could go on about was whether or not my daughter was his because of how fair toned she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 151

Show me where it hurts

By Anonymous - 21/11/2020 19:02 - United States - Weslaco

Today, I learned that pregnancy makes me more prone to migraines, but the only pain killer I can take makes me vomit. So I have to choose between being in pain and vomiting for hours on end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 159

Upper middle class issues

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 02:00

Today, I was delivering the HiLux my dad bought for my brother's birthday. At a red light, my bitter ex-girlfriend saw me and threw a roadworks sign at me, breaking the driver's side window. My brother insists I probably did it myself out of jealousy, so our dad is making me pay for the repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 154

Your music's shite, mate

By MyCatFromHell - 08/04/2021 22:59 - Brazil

Today, after suffering from a serious case of my cats always chewing my earphones, after many eaten cords, I finally got a bluetooth headphone. My cat peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 284

Mean streets

By tiptoppc - 19/06/2023 07:00 - United States - Grand Island

Today, my car was totaled when a semi passed me and blew his transaxle out of his truck into my car. I travel for work and just got my job. I also just put plates on my car. It’s now triggered my PTSD from another car accident I was injured in. I keep crying from flashbacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 136

Relatable reasoning

By Jake - 10/03/2021 23:00

Today, my wife told me the only reason she doesn’t want kids is because she requires privacy to poop. That’s it. That’s the dealbreaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 297

Excuses, excuses

By TJ. - 17/10/2022 10:00

Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend. Why? She had been praying and came to the conclusion that God was telling her to leave so she could meet her soul mate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 133

'Cos I'm the Taxman, yeah, I'm the Taxmaaaaan

By Anonymous - 22/02/2022 04:00

Today, I finally was able to complete my taxes and I had a look at the IRS website to check my refund. They changed it from 1K to $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 145

Good boy

By Anonymous - 06/04/2021 11:00 - Germany - Papenburg

Today, I realized my boyfriend rather qualifies as a pet: He loves eating, he hardly ever talks or listens, but he is cuddly, always enjoys having me around and can – within limits - be trained to do useful things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 291

He's a keeper

By Anonymous - 07/12/2022 00:00

Today, I met my ex, who told me he had something very important to tell me. I thought he was about to tell me that his girlfriend is pregnant (a fact I already knew). He told me that he still loves me and he'd never stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 139

Don't look back

By Mike - 27/05/2021 02:01

Today, I took my car to a car wash, and when I got it back, one of the rearview mirrors was missing. Someone knocked it off and the management refuses to cooperate on who was the thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 80

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The Top

Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 833

You deserved it 40 543

Today, I came home from a week-long vacation, only to find my mother-in-law didn't just dog-sit while I was gone; she moved in, along with all her possessions, and seems to think it's a permanent deal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 362

You deserved it 3 690

Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 964

You deserved it 477

Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 439

Today, I bought a truck. It's a little beat up, but I got a pretty good deal because of it… Or so I thought. Turns out there's a Nickelback CD stuck in the player. And the radio is spotty. I can't help but think that had something to do with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 217

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 298

You deserved it 46 490