Miscellaneous: Today, my prom dress came in the mail. I don't know what happened...

By Deli meat prom - United States - Dallas

Today, my prom dress came in the mail. I don't know what happened with the tailoring but not only does it not fit, but it also looks like deli meat. FML

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Miscellaneous

Catch 22

Corporate ass

Nooooooo… !

By omfgwhywhywhy - 22/3/2020 19:18 - United States

Deliverude

Today, I had to take a delivery to a known hoarder. I was braced for the sight of the house, but not the naked fat guy and the smell of dead cat when he answered the door. To top it off, they didn't even tip me. FML

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1631

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By appropriatepolice - United States

Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML

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23780

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By Pattie - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got a Brazilian wax in anticipation of becoming intimate for the first time this weekend with a man I have dated for a few weeks. I'm so sore it hurts just to walk. FML

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28491

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML

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32586

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By NotEnoughBleach - United States - Englewood

Roommates from hell

Today, while trying to sleep, my roommates were shouting in the next room. When I poked my head out to tell them to shut up, I was greeted by the sight of one of them with his knob duct-taped inside a gun holster, and the other one trying to rip it off. And they wonder why I'm not more social. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17684

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By Unemployed - Malaysia

Today, I fell asleep during my division emergency meeting. As I about to head home that evening, my boss patted me on the back saying "Wrong move. Good luck". Turned out, it was a meeting to determine who will be kicked out of the company due to recession. My name was written first on the list. FML

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8874

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By "fraz206"

Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. 20 minutes till I was able to clock out some kid pukes all over herself in the playground. FML

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1896

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

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33737

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By thefailwhale - United States - Hartford

Today, it was my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted, "You too". FML

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30934

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By adriana - United States

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

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By fmll - Norway

Today, my boyfriend texted me and said I had forgotten my blue bra. I don't have any blue bras. FML

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45469

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By xCZ75x - United Kingdom - Potters Bar

Today, my best friend on Snapchat is my mum. FML

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3094

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704

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By Blerp

Today, I got chewed out by my boss for not doing my job. Turns out what's described in my job description, contract, and job title isn't my job. My real job is outlined in the footnote of my contract. FML

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6656

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By ShiriSarah - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

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By Cold&Soaked

Today, I set my alarm and got up early to view the Super Blue Blood Moon. I was all wrapped up in a blanket and had a perfect view from my backyard. It’s been a truly amazing experience, made even more exciting by the sprinklers turning on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3742

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By Coldsnap - Sweden

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

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35721

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By TVKill3r - United States

Today, at work while near a cigarette tray outside, a man said, "Thanks for polluting our environment!" All I could say was, "What?" He then said "I'm speaking English you know!" I was cleaning the cigarette tray at the time, don't smoke at all, and was born here. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36723

You deserved it

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By Username - Canada

Perks

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

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19329

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after my check cleared for my half of the $1000 deposit on our new apartment. FML

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25151

You deserved it

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By anonymous - Austria - Vienna

Orwellian nightmare

Today, while reading "1984" on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

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40089

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By hahahano - United States

Today, I was running late and rushing to a waiting bus. I made it to the doors just as they closed. I knocked desperately, hoping the driver would let me in. He hovered his hand over the button for a few seconds, then flipped me off and drove away laughing. FML

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35843

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By Anonymous - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

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41092

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By Seriously? - United States - Mill Valley

Today, a teenage girl bumped into me and my phone fell out of my hands, and over the Golden Gate Bridge. FML

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59596

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By whyme - United States

Today, my mother screamed and swore at me because I said I was looking to move out soon. Apparently, the idea of me moving out at 27 and her getting a job to pay her own way is devastating. FML

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32248

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By Anonymous - United States - Plaquemine

Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My bestfriend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML

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41810

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was putting red nail polish on my nails and put a newspaper on the table to make sure that it didn't spill. I later discovered the nail polish made the newspaper stick to the table. I scrubbed nail polish remover on it, thinking it would help but instead bleached the table. FML

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13993

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML

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28415

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By Dlord357 - United States

Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML

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33959

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3986

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By Ruby Lore

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML

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5422

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By Anonymous - United States - Frederick

Today, I didn't think getting egged was a thing anymore until I found that my car got egged. FML

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5232

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429

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32377

You deserved it

2677

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By WartCream - United States - Olathe

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a weird wart-removal ad came on. He watched in disgust as the lady's wart said rude things to her. Then he looked at me and said seriously, "I'm glad yours don't talk..." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44563

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By wolfwhowanders - United States - Grand Junction

Today, my $1300 mattress that I bought for my new home was delivered. To my old house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9343

You deserved it

1608

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By crazyhair docare

Today, after a lifetime of weaves and extensions, I felt brave enough to wear my natural hair to work. As soon as I clocked in, my manager yelled, “Holy shit! What happened to you? Stick your finger in a socket or something?” I was then sent home for being, “Out of uniform.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

2380

You deserved it

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By N - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34675

You deserved it

5343

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By whoriblemomindeed - United States - Celeste

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

I agree, your life sucks

44035

You deserved it

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By keeks_25 - Canada

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

84679

You deserved it

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By chloe_zjk - France

Today, I'm an intern working in a company's reception area, which happens to have a coffee dispenser. As I'm the new girl, every client getting coffee wants to buy me one. I'm too polite to say no. It's 10:26 AM, and I'm on cup #17. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35616

You deserved it

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By TheywearintheDIRTYlaundrybasket!

Today, I walked into the house I share with my boyfriend and found his mum sashaying up and down the hall. When she saw me, she exclaimed, "Oh, you've got to tell me where you get your underwear from!" Yep, she was wearing my panties. Neither she nor her son could see why I would be upset by that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2672

You deserved it

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By lostmystuff - United States - Livermore

Today, I was moving to my new apartment. I left some furniture outside as I drove to dump the first load at my new place. When I got back, everything was gone. Apparently, today is the day the donation truck was coming around to take everything we don't need. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51599

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Top comments

By CandyPewPewPew | 29

#6268744 - Tuesday 21 April 2015 10:26

Lady Gaga did a prank on you. :D

By WaltzingPhanthom | 23

#6268743 - Tuesday 21 April 2015 10:26

He was probably beating his meat while he was working on your dress.

COMMENTS

By WaltzingPhanthom | 23

#6268743 - Tuesday 21 April 2015 10:26

He was probably beating his meat while he was working on your dress.

daisylokes | 16

#6270539 - Thursday 23 April 2015 7:51

oh that's nastyy ( clevelands voice ) lol

By CandyPewPewPew | 29

#6268744 - Tuesday 21 April 2015 10:26

Lady Gaga did a prank on you. :D

TheBelt | 19

#6268872 - Tuesday 21 April 2015 13:13

I was gonna say that.

baegirl33 | 7

#6268989 - Tuesday 21 April 2015 16:25

your emoji picture fits that comment lol

By HarshD9619 | 34

#6268745 - Tuesday 21 April 2015 10:26

Order for a replacement OP, and have a great prom

By emxy92 | 22

#6268747 - Tuesday 21 April 2015 10:28

How frustrating! I hope you didn't spend too much on it and have time to find a new one!

By EatUrGreens | 20

#6268748 - Tuesday 21 April 2015 10:29

Sounds like you got ripped off, if you ordered it off the internet lol

By iAlissa | 34

#6268749 - Tuesday 21 April 2015 10:30

Rock it like Gaga.

By timb1234 | 13

#6268750 - Tuesday 21 April 2015 10:30

What a shame. Now people will get hungry whenever they look at you

nityasomaiya | 46

#6268854 - Tuesday 21 April 2015 12:55

Not if she can't wear it

WhoCouldIBe | 11

#6269541 - Wednesday 22 April 2015 6:16

Then they'll get even hungrier

By Oppression_fml | 19

#6268755 - Tuesday 21 April 2015 10:36

Hopefully you'll look at this and laugh it out someday.

By lexos | 16

#6268766 - Tuesday 21 April 2015 10:47

Does it taste like meat to?

By MedChew | 19

#6268773 - Tuesday 21 April 2015 10:51

Imagine all the guys who would want to eat you up! Go and flaunt everything you got!