Today, thanks to my wife’s obsession with expensive foods like chutney, relishes, exotic spices, and preserved foreign vegetables and herbs, I'm literally staring into a fridge full of glass jars, with a door that barely stays closed, and yet has nothing inside suitable to eat for my dinner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I opened my fridge. It's entire contents: half a takeaway meal and 4 bottles of wine. FML
Today, my wife can barely contain her rage at me for throwing out her collection of unique glass bottles, which she was saving for gifting and decoration. I'd feel more guilt if she hadn't been storing them in a box underneath our sink mixed with recyclables. FML
Today, while many women have a wardrobe full of nothing-to-wear, my mom has a fridge full of nothing-to-eat and a living room full of nowhere-to-sit. FML
Today, I was excited to go to my new girlfriend’s house for dinner. To my horror, everything was out of a box or a can; Hamburger Helper, canned vegetables, boxed mashed potatoes. When I said I was hoping for something fresher, she just stared at me and asked if i know how expensive groceries are. FML
Today, we're visiting my wife's extended family. They're nice people but they eat like crap; I haven't had a single fresh vegetable or fruit in days, and everything they cook is overcooked and smothered in cheap sauce or "seasonings." My stomach is about to go on strike. FML
Today, we have nearly no food in the house. My husband went shopping with the kids and returned with a sack of tomatoes. Time to make lunch. FML
Today, my husband reorganized our fridge for the World Cup. He cleared everything out and filled it with beer and chips. FML
Today, I got home from work to see that not only had my wife opened my bag of potato chips, she'd ripped it all down the side and left it open all day without a clip. Now my chips are stale. She has a whole bag of her favorite flavor, unopened, right next to it. FML
Today, I spent an hour making my favorite work lunches, then portioning them out so I could have them all week. I later came home to a pile of empty containers. My girlfriend said, "Sorry, I got the munchies. Also, can you please do the dishes?" FML
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
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Top comments
MidnaLink 35
Have you thought of recipes that call for some of those ingredients?
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like a great excuse to go out for some fast food.
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Comments (5)
sphera82 7
Deez
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like a great excuse to go out for some fast food.
MidnaLink 35
Have you thought of recipes that call for some of those ingredients?
JackWood 21
Doordash, Grub hub, or Uber eats, a main dish and your set.