The Top

Hi, this is my FML. Basically after a 32 hour trip back from Australia (layovers, waiting round etc) the second I got home I put my jacket in the wash and it had the passport in the pocket. Complete my fault, just thought it would make a funny FML.

By NotTakenYet - 05/10/2018 22:05

Today, my mom said she ran into some old coworkers and they asked about me. She was surprised they remembered me, as we only met once. The reason they remembered me is because I fell down the stairs at their house when I was 11. That was 15 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 558

You deserved it 273

By Anonymous - 01/12/2018 13:30

Today, in addition to having to deal with chronic pain that keeps me from driving for more than 10 minutes, I now have to deal with my brother who thinks I'm not paying him enough for taking me to school 2 days a week, when he does the journeys for himself anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 558

You deserved it 191

By Girl - 02/11/2018 15:30 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I had a job interview for my dream job. Then I got a call saying it was cancelled because of a policy change that was issued this morning. I applied over a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 558

You deserved it 139

Empathy bypass

By Jason - 17/04/2020 02:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I worked up the courage to confess my bulimia to my girlfriend of three months. It's a touchy subject for me and I ended up in tears. When I was done talking, I looked up to see my girlfriend's disgusted face. She claimed I had a 'vomit fetish', said I was 'half a man' and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 558

You deserved it 668

What else don't I know?

By Shocked - 13/04/2022 00:00

Today, my fiancé “thought he should let me know” that he has a 3 year-old son. We’ve been together for 7 years and our wedding is this weekend. He says it’s no big deal, because, “It was just a one-night stand and she has a new man now.” He doesn’t get why I’m angry and calling off our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 557

You deserved it 146

YouTube drama

By chrome dome - 22/04/2021 20:01

Today, my sister put hair remover in my shampoo as a "prank" for her YouTube channel. My mom grounded her for a month, but let her keep her dumb channel because she cried and said she’d kill herself if she had to delete it. Meanwhile, it’ll take years for my hair to grow back the length it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 557

You deserved it 99

By DepressedCellist - 27/09/2018 12:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had band practice for our duo. I've been playing cello for almost a year and wanted to incorporate it. He picked it up for pretty much the first time and sounded surprisingly good. I was excited until I realized he sounded better than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 555

You deserved it 536

By Takegami - 15/12/2018 17:30

Today. I had my first final exam. That would be fine if I hadn’t gotten sick 4 days ago. No one can go get my antibiotics, I feel like I’m dying and I can’t miss these exams under any circumstance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 553

You deserved it 206

Fashion Police

By asshole - 29/04/2020 20:00

Today, I called a company to see why the dress I’d ordered for my best friend hadn’t been delivered. After doing some digging and ruining the surprise, it turns out it had been. Her boyfriend opened the package, deemed the dress "too slutty" and threw it out. He refuses to pay me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 553

You deserved it 253

By Stupid - 01/03/2019 04:00

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's wife. He's still saying he is not married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 552

You deserved it 325

Courtesy visit

By hottytodday - 12/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxford

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 552

You deserved it 373

Ouch

By Anonymous - 17/02/2018 15:00

Today, accustomed to dealing with my old car's faulty accelerator, I pressed the pedal way too hard in my new car and crashed into a pillar, totaling the engine, and giving myself a concussion. I could still see the dealership down the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 552

You deserved it 4 243

Bigger than...

By Jim - 26/11/2019 16:00 - Canada - Winfield

Today, I was looking for my passport and I found my wife's new vibrator (that she failed to tell me she'd purchased). I understand now why she doesn't want sex with me anymore. That thing is much bigger than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 551

You deserved it 546

Eternally romantic

By singledumbfuck - 22/03/2020 03:30

Today, my boyfriend proposed via text, after telling me that he'd slept with his step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 550

You deserved it 194

By kanmcdan - 22/04/2019 00:00

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a Snowshoeing date. I felt sick and suggested we turn back. He said I could wait in the car and continued on the date alone. He was gone for hours, while I was stuck alone in a national park with no cell reception, food, or water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 550

You deserved it 423

Stranger Danger!

By tried to help - 07/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 550

You deserved it 670

My package

By Nikki - 20/11/2019 05:00

Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 550

You deserved it 732

Let me in!

By Anonymous - 27/07/2020 20:00

Today, I was turned away from a private event by security for being a girl. My name is Max; the name on the guest list was Max, but the security meathead insisted Max can only be a man's name and threw me out of the building. I was the event's key lecturer, and without me the event was cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 549

You deserved it 197

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Embarrassing Cars Parenting Kids Work Healthy Lifestyle Awkward Love Confused My ex Parents Vacation Money Sex Depression Health Anxiety Mental health Clothes Alcohol Poopoo peepee Ironic Birthday Weddings Transportation Bodyshaming Divorce NSFW

The Top

Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 873

You deserved it 4 746

Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 316

You deserved it 48 692

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 758

You deserved it 3 187

Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 559

Today, my daughter asked me if we could make sticker art. Of course I said it was OK so she went to get some stickers. I wondered where she was going when she walked into the bathroom, but I didn't ask. I left the room and when I came back, her paper was blank and my pads were stuck to the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 531

You deserved it 5 975

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 253

You deserved it 4 337