By Anonymous - 6/7/2020 20:03

Tidy your room

Today, I woke up and stepped on a wet jacket. After smelling what it was, it turns out the cat had peed all over my laundry, especially the waterproof jacket, and after attempting to clean it up, it dripped everywhere and the entire apartment now smells like cat piss now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1306

You deserved it

377

Tweet

Share

Proactive

BO Central

Old lady hotline

By anun - Australia

Today, my girlfriend asked me, "Is it in yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

31733

You deserved it

7003

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my mom booked me a flight to stay with relatives who I don't like, and who don't like me. I leave in two days, and don't return until the day before school starts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1637

You deserved it

122

Tweet

Share

By nosexlife - United States

Today, I was with my seven year old daughter purchasing my husband a present for his birthday in a few weeks. At the register, in the very long line, I asked her where we could hide his present so he wouldn't find it, she responded loudly with "Hide it in your room! He never goes in there!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

36565

You deserved it

4888

Tweet

Share

By whyme - United States - Crescent

Today, my friends and I went out for drinks. I'm the only one who's actually 21 or over, and they have fake IDs. Not only was I the only one to be carded, the bartender thought that my actual ID was fake. I got kicked out while my friends kept drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56361

You deserved it

4445

Tweet

Share

By Lexi - Canada

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

28326

You deserved it

7229

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/3/2020 08:00

Phoney sex

Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1904

You deserved it

491

Tweet

Share

By ClutchJunkie

Today, my classic car that I've put hours of wrench time into burst into flames when I tried to start it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9037

You deserved it

1176

Tweet

Share

By Gears

Today, I had dinner at a local fast food joint. There's an employee there that I usually talk to and flirt with, so I thought maybe it was time to ask for her number. After a small conversation and almost getting to the point, she told me, "I'm 17." I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1745

You deserved it

574

Tweet

Share

By poorcar - United States

Today, my parents asked if they could borrow my car. Why? Because they were going to see someone about a Craig's List ad and wanted to look poor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39115

You deserved it

3635

Tweet

Share

By sorrynotsorry - United States - Vancouver

Today, a customer told my boss I was too pushy because I asked her what bra size she wears. I work at a lingerie store. I got a stern lecture from my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43758

You deserved it

3474

Tweet

Share

By grovage - United States

Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5722

You deserved it

80135

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Oceanside

Today, my husband's ex-girlfriend is getting a restraining order on him. Turns out, for the past 2 years of our marriage, he has been trying to contact her and ditching work to stalk her. To top it all off, he told me not to come to court with him because he doesn't want her to see he downgraded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30522

You deserved it

2202

Tweet

Share

By Stellarum - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44529

You deserved it

4213

Tweet

Share

By Work_sucks

Today, I'm facing a disciplinary hearing at work because I occasionally fail to click the door properly shut when I leave the office and this is very upsetting to one of the six colleagues I share my office with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8983

You deserved it

1332

Tweet

Share

By hungry - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39572

You deserved it

3482

Tweet

Share

By SMV - France

Today, my company was having a huge party. I got to work dressed in my best outfit. At the the lunch break my boss told me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

31695

You deserved it

5884

Tweet

Share

By got to be kidding me - United States - Cape Coral

Today, my eight-year-old daughter refused to use the port-a-potty at the fair. She preferred to piss her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1910

You deserved it

260

Tweet

Share

By Halle - United States

Today, my immature step-father rubbed my head destroying the $300 hairdo that took two and a half hours to finish. Three minutes before my wedding ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62987

You deserved it

6657

Tweet

Share

By CryoSpectre - United States - San Francisco

Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30745

You deserved it

2315

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Littleton

Today, after leaving my workplace, I realized that I forgot some important work papers. When I went back to get them, I was faced with the sight of my boss and a coworker getting it on against my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56409

You deserved it

5169

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Waterford

Today, my friend offered to make me a playlist for the gym. I thought it was really thoughtful, until I started listening to it during my workout and realized that every single song was "Supersize Me" with the title changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23911

You deserved it

2225

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5887

You deserved it

45358

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Russian Federation

Today, at my job in a chemists, I had a customer ask me which acne cream I would recommend. I picked up the brand I use and told her that I've been using it for a year now. After pausing to stare at my face for a second, she thanked me and picked up the competing brand instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44922

You deserved it

5712

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I got told that I have a dainty sneeze. It was the closest thing I've had to a compliment I've had in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1413

You deserved it

130

Tweet

Share

By catattack78 - United States

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30220

You deserved it

3985

Tweet

Share

By Dana - United States

Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhoods garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26013

You deserved it

3166

Tweet

Share

By brileyyyy - United States

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33647

You deserved it

4242

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Newtownards

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32624

You deserved it

3650

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I had to get my picture taken for a volunteer badge at the hospital. My sister came home and told my parents that she had a horrible day at work. They showed her my picture to cheer her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1681

You deserved it

140

Tweet

Share

By Mr. X - United States - Southborough

Today, my sister convinced my girlfriend that I cheated on her. All because I took the first slice of her birthday cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21482

You deserved it

5432

Tweet

Share

By why? - 12/4/2020 17:00

Unreasonable demands

Today, my close friend who’s always been incredibly vocal about how much she hates children, never wants to be around them or have anything to do with them, stopped speaking to me. She’s incredibly "hurt" that I asked another friend to be my unborn child's godmother instead of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1933

You deserved it

144

Tweet

Share

By gatorhead - United States

Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30372

You deserved it

2477

Tweet

Share

By oldskoolfun - United States - Warminster

Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20327

You deserved it

10581

Tweet

Share

By I should have kept my mouth shut - United States - Davis

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29722

You deserved it

4577

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that if I try to resist a 70 pound bulldog that's humping my leg, I will end up with stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32149

You deserved it

3232

Tweet

Share

By e.middlechild - United States

Today, I finally got enough courage to ask out this girl that I've liked for a year. While we were out at lunch, she ran into her ex that she had just broken up with. They then had a long conversation about their relationship, and ended up getting back together. She was my ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55328

You deserved it

3695

Tweet

Share

By Noname - United States

Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

84471

You deserved it

18508

Tweet

Share

By hello higher premiums, fuckwad - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I was driving down a one-way street, when some raging dumbass came screaming the wrong way down the road at me. My instant reaction was to brake and give the guy a chance to do the same. His instant reaction was to keep going and wreck my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43910

You deserved it

3050

Tweet

Share

By leftwardfoil - United States

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47320

You deserved it

3331

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home from a long day at work, and heard voices coming from my living room. I thought my house was being robbed so I called 911. Turns out I left the T.V. on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8921

You deserved it

38944

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Lisa Wonder | 5

#7919764 - Monday 6 July 2020 20:11

add a cup of vinegar to ur laundry for cat smell.. I have 3 cats 😒... i understand 😂

By RichardPencil | 29

#7919769 - Monday 6 July 2020 20:25

The cat was more skeptical than you about the "waterproof" claim your jacket made. It's using science to test the claim!

I'll bet the cat will be pissed off if he's wrong.

COMMENTS

By Lisa Wonder | 5

#7919764 - Monday 6 July 2020 20:11

add a cup of vinegar to ur laundry for cat smell.. I have 3 cats 😒... i understand 😂

By RichardPencil | 29

#7919769 - Monday 6 July 2020 20:25

The cat was more skeptical than you about the "waterproof" claim your jacket made. It's using science to test the claim!

I'll bet the cat will be pissed off if he's wrong.

By Kurliez408 | 32

#7919782 - Monday 6 July 2020 21:16

if you woke up and stepped on laundry, that means it was on the floor. why leave laundry on the floor? laundry basket/chair/back in closet. any of those would have prevented this so partial ydi.

By genuinegoodguy | 9

#7919817 - Tuesday 7 July 2020 0:17

Cats stink anyway.

By Cheryl Brown | 4

#7920071 - Tuesday 7 July 2020 20:06

Yep. And don’t leave plastic bags out either. Cats love peeing on them too.

By Taurus_ChicKa | 36

#7921345 - Saturday 11 July 2020 21:33

YDI for leaving clothes on the floor, especially with an animal in the house.