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Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML

#16429286
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17638) - you deserved it (35691)

On 05/31/2011 at 12:51am - love - by romantic84 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom gave me and my brothers each a cd of her recent photoshoot for her book. I found out later that my mom didn't know how to burn only SOME of the photos on the CD, and ended up burning all of the photos onto the CD. Some of the photos were provocative. FML

#1617
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17637) - you deserved it (1613)

On 01/18/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by scarred4life - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML

#91993
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17635) - you deserved it (24738)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by Jim Smith (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML

#3921991
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17621) - you deserved it (42591)

On 07/21/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML

#19311735
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17619) - you deserved it (9674)

On 03/20/2012 at 12:33am - health - by insightful - Australia

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

#18849422
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17613) - you deserved it (31620)

On 01/18/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by Lickmylovepump (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML

#18644636
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17608) - you deserved it (27256) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by Kevin - France

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

#19274332
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17608) - you deserved it (5746)

On 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm - work - by Simms (man) - United States

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

#62325
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17605) - you deserved it (46335)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML

#4226426
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17604) - you deserved it (52904)

On 08/02/2009 at 7:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML

#18095448
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17599) - you deserved it (11683)

On 10/28/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by blabla (woman) - Brazil

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17595) - you deserved it (43113)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States

Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite some time. I'd drank a lot of water, so I wouldn't eat so much on the date and look like a pig. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten how funny this guy really was. He made me laugh so hard, I peed all over myself. FML

#5465719
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17585) - you deserved it (44055)

On 09/25/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by MessedXUp (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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