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Today, at university I was tearing off some "Help Japan" posters off the wall, figuring that they have been up for a while. Just as a group of visiting Japanese reporters passed by. FML

by facepalmface / 12/05/2011 at 9:34am / United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while working at a wedding reception, I caught a couple getting touchy in the back of the room, but I swept it under the rug. Apparently, they didn't like getting caught, and reported me to my boss, claiming sexual harassment. I now have to attend social sensitivity training once a week. FML

by teenagesyndrome / 09/06/2015 at 2:33pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got jumped by five dudes who took my phone. On it I had naked pictures of myself. An hour later they sent the pictures to all of my contacts. FML

by c-mack / 09/07/2009 at 8:52pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to sneak out. As I was climbing out of my 3rd floor window, he got a text and moved the ladder. Now I'm in the hospital with two broken ribs. FML

by epicfail / 05/28/2011 at 2:45am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML

by brichard22 / 07/12/2015 at 10:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was driving home from an airport. On the way home, I got a flat tire. Once I was outside the car I realized that I had accidentally locked the car with the keys inside. I was in the middle of nowhere 20 miles from anywhere and couldn't call for help since my phone was in the car. FML

Today, my pain-in-the-ass co-worker is finally leaving. Unfortunately, I was chosen to do the bulk of her job. She has given me no training and on her last day, just smirked at me on her way out and say, "Enjoy doing my job too, fucker". I don't get paid enough for this. FML

by scoobses / 10/01/2015 at 8:45pm / United States / Work

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

by / 01/01/2009 at 1:21pm / Work

Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML

by anon / 03/23/2012 at 11:51pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, I realized just how bad my problem with making eye contact is, when I caught myself looking the other way when the singer in a music video looked directly at the camera. FML

by suhleedah18 / 04/24/2012 at 2:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lobstering. While I was getting bands, my co-worker decided it would be funny to make a lobster pinch my ear. it was a 4 pound lobster, and my ear was swollen for 5 hours. FML

by Fonzie34 / 02/28/2010 at 9:42pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

by Mandy / 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm / United States / Health