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Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

#14866852
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19661) - you deserved it (28016)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the orthodontist's to get my braces tightened, and I chose baby blue bands. Turns out they make my teeth look extremely yellow. Only a month and a half to go. FML

#19656239
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19661) - you deserved it (4339)

On 05/21/2012 at 7:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML

#21449052
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19677) - you deserved it (1332)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:07pm - misc - by roselysunset (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

#20712154
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19656) - you deserved it (110568)

On 06/07/2013 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

#7144399
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19653) - you deserved it (7072)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked a co-worker if he'd cover for me while I slipped out to cash some money at the bank. When I got back, I found out that when he said "yeah, sure" he actually meant "yeah, sure, I'll tell the boss and get your dumb arse suspended". FML

#19282495
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19652) - you deserved it (11600)

On 03/15/2012 at 12:13pm - work - by davey d (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I bid on an item on eBay, only to find the exact item I wanted later while out in the city. I bought it, assuming I would be outbid, as always. Nope. FML

Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML

#19348769
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19646) - you deserved it (1984)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by Ringo McDingo (man) - United States

Today, I was at Target with my mom. After 10 minutes of my mom walking around looking confused, I said, "Mom, what are you looking for? I worked at this place for 4 years, I know where everything is." My mom was looking for KY. FML

#1288
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19643) - you deserved it (2302)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by kallens - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was so bored that I filmed my goldfish while it was eating. FML

#923
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19640) - you deserved it (5294)

On 01/10/2009 at 3:21am - animals - by Crystal - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

#1395
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19638) - you deserved it (9118)

On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)

Today, in between the passing times at school, one of my classmates opened the door to my next class, so I turned to tell him thank you. Apparently, he was opening it for the teacher who was leaving. I collided with her and her very hot cup of coffee. FML

#8089139
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19638) - you deserved it (4217)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:34pm - misc - by kel - United States (California)

Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML

#21431233
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19636) - you deserved it (3573)

On 06/24/2015 at 3:45pm - animals - by That escalated quickly - United States (New Jersey)



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