Today, I made the egregious mistake of going on RateMyTeachers....

By dysfunctional_ravenclaw - 21/10/2017 08:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I made the egregious mistake of going on RateMyTeachers. My students think that, while I'm a good teacher, I have constant "wardrobe malfunctions" and spill my "bloody ass tampons all over the place like a bitch". I teach 6th graders. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3557

You deserved it

470

Favorite

Work

Kids

Family values

The opposite of a good idea

Nice neighborhood

By Ugly - 8/3/2009 08:47 - United States

Today, I was looking at some comments on a silly YouTube video of me dancing with some friends. Someone posted a comment saying "Girl on the right is hot!!!." Next to that, it had about 31 thumbs down. I'm the girl on the right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50390

You deserved it

10009

Favorite

By pumboc - 24/6/2013 05:38 - Australia - Glen Waverley

Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51114

You deserved it

3089

Favorite

By baconbxtch - 22/8/2013 02:45 - United States - Orlando

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53845

You deserved it

4691

Favorite

By Drew - 6/3/2013 15:16 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I discovered that the neck injury that my mom has had since last week was planned just as an excuse not to shovel when today's snowstorm came. She has planned on being lazy for over a week now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30873

You deserved it

3098

Favorite

By Pushover - 13/2/2010 03:30 - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend of 8 years cheating on me. I punched him in the face, he broke up with me. And I still had to cook him an entire turkey dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13605

You deserved it

40546

Favorite

By sister of an angry nerd - 23/12/2015 06:09

Today, I went to see Star Wars with my brother. The entire time he talked about how scientifically inaccurate and improbable the entire movie was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23236

You deserved it

3131

Favorite

By heart-broken - 3/7/2009 01:33 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She's not actually a lesbian. She has been using our relationship to piss off her conservative parents. We've been together for over a year, and I've been in love with her for over five. FML

I agree, your life sucks

74688

You deserved it

8670

Favorite

By Ouch - 14/7/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53347

You deserved it

15430

Favorite

By Nylo - 29/1/2018 01:30

Today, I made my first ever chocolate fudge, which turned out really nice. I had a bite and left it on the counter with plastic wrap covering, only to come back later to find my sister's cat pissing on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4061

You deserved it

496

Favorite

By ipodless - 13/10/2011 00:47 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I asked everyone for iTunes money, pleased to finally be able to buy some new songs for my iPod. After receiving several gift cards, I discovered that my iPod had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32188

You deserved it

4300

Favorite

By zombie mommy - 27/6/2020 17:02

Demonic attack!

Today, my 10-month-old kept me up all night after a gruelling day. I finally fell asleep with her at about 2 a.m., and I woke up half an hour later to her hands on my throat, and her biting my nose. Startled, I took a big breath through my nose and snorted an ungodly amount of slobber. I’m awake now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1279

You deserved it

191

Favorite

By justgreat - 24/3/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31386

You deserved it

6162

Favorite

By shitberries - 25/12/2015 16:00 - United States - Jefferson City

Today, I tried dying my hair blonde. I put my hair in a bun and waited for it to dye. I guess I did something wrong, because my hair is now 4 different shades of blonde/orange, along with patches of my natural black hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17018

You deserved it

11847

Favorite

By Anonymous - 2/1/2020 20:00 - United States - Grand Rapids

Marking territory

Today, while on a picnic with my boyfriend, he got a little drunk. All of a sudden, he got up, pulled his pants down and pissed all over me. His excuse? "Just marking my territory." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2564

You deserved it

288

Favorite

By hushnow - 7/2/2011 18:04 - United States

Today, I had no choice but to shake the hand of a customer, who just moments before, had the aforementioned hand down the front of his pants, scratching his snowglobes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33738

You deserved it

3716

Favorite

By Reihna - 15/10/2012 13:10 - United States - Marion

Today, it's my birthday. I spent $100 on myself, using it to set up an account so that my son can call me from jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26343

You deserved it

4099

Favorite

By Justmyluck - 21/11/2018 08:00 - United States - Bloomsburg

Today, after a week of no side effects, my bronchitis medication decided to screw me over. I'm running on 3 hours of sleep and half of my face is sunburnt in randomized patches. Guess who has a huge presentation today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2463

You deserved it

150

Favorite

By Anonymous - 13/7/2012 06:47 - United States - Spring

Today, my fiancé's grandmother kept trying to introduce him to this "simply absolutely amazing girl," who she thought "would be just the perfect date" for him. At our engagement party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32525

You deserved it

1989

Favorite

By mystupidson - 31/8/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36630

You deserved it

3926

Favorite

By barf - 6/2/2015 23:00 - Ireland

Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML

I agree, your life sucks

30689

You deserved it

3232

Favorite

By Bananapi - 10/9/2017 13:00

Today, my flatmate moved in with me. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, so did her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3694

You deserved it

222

Favorite

By I'm a joke? - 30/5/2013 05:37

Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47525

You deserved it

4159

Favorite

By ksmith - 9/8/2011 04:59 - United States

Today, I finally noticed that my wife only shaves her bush when she goes on "business trips." FML

I agree, your life sucks

61387

You deserved it

5128

Favorite

By lynn - 22/6/2012 16:14 - Australia - Bongaree

Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30163

You deserved it

2076

Favorite

By oldmama728 - 28/4/2011 11:07

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33262

You deserved it

46120

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/3/2020 03:00

We're up all night to not get some

Today, I must be the only woman on the planet with a boyfriend who turns down sex because he feels like he’s got a headache coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1753

You deserved it

476

Favorite

By kitchencrime - 28/8/2009 06:11 - United States

Today, my friend snuck up on me and yelled, "Gotcha!" I screamed and dropped a gallon of blood-red paint on my new, white kitchen floor. Now it looks like I've murdered someone in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44650

You deserved it

4447

Favorite

By fieldmarshalclitter - 1/12/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9943

You deserved it

28371

Favorite

By boblaj - 22/5/2012 16:11 - United Kingdom - Hastings

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22736

You deserved it

3982

Favorite

By Big break - 18/5/2020 14:00

As seen on TV

Today, I finally got my big TV debut. After thousand of dollars in acting classes and years of waiting to become a professional actress, I got featured in a commercial. I will be rubbing toilet paper against my face for all of four seconds. Hurray, fame! FML

I agree, your life sucks

1260

You deserved it

584

Favorite

By emsbuffalo - 4/1/2012 06:15 - United States

Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26095

You deserved it

3086

Favorite

By Anonymous - 30/9/2014 23:42 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46467

You deserved it

10051

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/10/2010 23:19 - Brazil

Today, I was home alone and it started to rain. It hadn't rained in days so I went out on my balcony and ran around. I felt great until I realized that my door had been swung shut because of the wind, and it had no handle. I had to wait outside in the rain for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11974

You deserved it

27870

Favorite

By Chris - 5/4/2012 02:50 - United States - House Springs

Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10179

You deserved it

22619

Favorite

By helpme - 24/11/2015 06:34 - United States - Annapolis

Today, my anxiety cockblocked me. I was in the middle of a wank, about to come, when I suddenly freaked out and had to stop and check to make sure I didn't have any homework due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25472

You deserved it

4597

Favorite

By Gottabekidding - 9/9/2016 00:33 - United States - Ashland

Today, my workplace instituted a policy in which employees must stop and write down what they are doing every fifteen minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14599

You deserved it

834

Favorite

By partypooper - 28/7/2009 06:34 - United States

Today, a friend asked me if I could help him set up the stage for his wedding. Feeling honored that he considered me a close enough friend to aid him on his special day, I agreed to help. Turns out we aren't so close. I was asked to leave after I was done because I hadn't actually been invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54299

You deserved it

2827

Favorite

By pretty princess - 1/2/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24723

You deserved it

4905

Favorite

By cjhgvb - 6/11/2014 00:48 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I found out it is possible to get whiplash and a concussion from a tickle fight you have with your boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31243

You deserved it

4188

Favorite

By Anonymous - 17/3/2013 03:08 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out that the lump in my wrist that keeps getting inflamed and sore is caused by sketching and using my laptop too much. Good thing I'm in my fourth year of studying to become a designer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34822

You deserved it

3055

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By DragonMaiden7 | 15

#7555289 - Saturday 21 October 2017 21:01

What? This just leaves more questions than answers for me. How does one spill tampons? Is this a new phrase for the children, or are you jumping on your desk and firing them out your cooch like a bottle rocket whenever you get mad? PLEASE say it’s the second one. It’ll remind me of my Chinese teacher.

By lccc_ | 18

#7555253 - Saturday 21 October 2017 18:00

why the fuck do the 6th graders rate the teachers ?? do they get a choice ? lol thats what ratemyprofessor is for, choices.

Comments

By kusje | 29

#7555215 - Saturday 21 October 2017 15:04

I really hope that is a eufemism

By Lobby_Bee | 17

#7555217 - Saturday 21 October 2017 15:13

They talk about wardrobes and tampons? I really hope that's just from the girls and not the guys.

By EnvyMe33 | 26

#7555228 - Saturday 21 October 2017 16:30

You are lucky they aren’t saying anything about your looks.

By alainopotato | 20

#7555230 - Saturday 21 October 2017 16:35

Middle schoolers are cruel

By xtutu | 12

#7555248 - Saturday 21 October 2017 17:48

That's really bad. Those kids need a discipline.

By lccc_ | 18

#7555253 - Saturday 21 October 2017 18:00

why the fuck do the 6th graders rate the teachers ?? do they get a choice ? lol thats what ratemyprofessor is for, choices.

By DragonMaiden7 | 15

#7555289 - Saturday 21 October 2017 21:01

By Demon_of_Light | 27

#7555364 - Sunday 22 October 2017 2:51

Kids can be cruel, but I can't automatically side with the teacher here. In seventh grade one of my teachers never wore a bra, and had other such wardrobe issues. It was very distracting and often uncomfortable for the students.

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7555371 - Sunday 22 October 2017 3:07

"Oh it's called ratemyteachers.com. I'm on a completely different, more awesome site."

By Yudith | 20

#7555477 - Sunday 22 October 2017 15:27

At least your students consider you a good teacher. Just wear modest and confy clothes and if your students don't pay attention, hit them with a strawberry jam tampon.