Today, I made the egregious mistake of going on RateMyTeachers....

By dysfunctional_ravenclaw - United States - Houston

Today, I made the egregious mistake of going on RateMyTeachers. My students think that, while I'm a good teacher, I have constant "wardrobe malfunctions" and spill my "bloody ass tampons all over the place like a bitch". I teach 6th graders. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3576

You deserved it

475

Favorite

Work

Kids

Out of it

Don't shoot the messenger

Thanks, government

By billjoebob424 - Canada

Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20321

You deserved it

7411

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36200

You deserved it

4630

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother got his very first paycheck and blew it all on weed and a godawful tattoo, whereas I have been saving steadily for three years. Yet according to mum and dad, I'm the one who is irresponsible with money, because if I was being responsible I'd have enough for my own house by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25306

You deserved it

1626

Favorite

By JN5SLK - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55898

You deserved it

4612

Favorite

By doggone - United States

Today, I went to a pet store to adopt a dog. I got a medium sized lab, a dog crate, and a few toys, then put his crate in the back of my truck and the dog in his crate. On the way home I realized I forgot dog bowls and some dog food. I went back, and when I got back out to my truck, my dog was gone. My stereo too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54993

You deserved it

8650

Favorite

By shoggoth_wild - United States - Jackson

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about times we'd made our mothers cry. She said she'd only made her mother cry once. When I asked when, she said, "When I told her I was thinking about dating you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35846

You deserved it

3491

Favorite

By HttpsHaileyy - United States

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27701

You deserved it

9541

Favorite

By Brett meek - Canada

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25439

You deserved it

3579

Favorite

By Justmyluck - United States - Bloomsburg

Today, after a week of no side effects, my bronchitis medication decided to screw me over. I'm running on 3 hours of sleep and half of my face is sunburnt in randomized patches. Guess who has a huge presentation today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2480

You deserved it

151

Favorite

By aloneagainnaturally - Denmark - S?borg

Today, we were all put in groups to make a presentation together. And by "together" I mean I pulled an all nighter to finish it by myself. My group criticized my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24359

You deserved it

2108

Favorite

By toothbreaker - United States - Tucson

Today, I bought my very first college textbook. I received a stack of hole-punched papers. My $195 "book" isn’t even bound together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1712

You deserved it

164

Favorite

By dmanrique - United States

Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to explain to the nice old lady who stopped that my friend who was convulsing on the ground wasn't on drugs, he's just really stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30350

You deserved it

3191

Favorite

By Anonymous - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15901

You deserved it

4785

Favorite

By Carolyn Dee Humphrey

Today, I found out my friend and I have the same due date and the same baby daddy. It's my boyfriend of 9 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5197

You deserved it

405

Favorite

By WoWWidow - United States

Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32856

You deserved it

4421

Favorite

By Anonymous - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23541

You deserved it

5150

Favorite

By Salvation711 - United States

Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9863

You deserved it

33668

Favorite

By badplacerightnow - United States - Frisco

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45840

You deserved it

9163

Favorite

By Anonymous - 27/3/2020 14:00

Hmmm, nutritious!

Today, I'm in the coronavirus-vulnerable group, so I asked my friend to go shopping for me because I'm in need of food and toilet paper. They came back with a bag of icing sugar, even though food and toilet paper were available in the shop. Forty minutes later, the shelves were stripped bare. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1711

You deserved it

163

Favorite

By CollegeChef - Australia

Today, months into supporting my mum with her part time cleaning job by cooking dinner for my large family after university, I found out that she doesn't actually have a job, she just leaves the house for a few hours because she doesn't want to cook dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36229

You deserved it

2768

Favorite

By yaa - Canada

Today, on my way out of the subway station, I noticed an older woman standing at the bottom of a flight of stairs with a large cart. I went up to her and asked if she needed help getting it up the stairs. She looks me up and down and says, "No, not from you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47976

You deserved it

4238

Favorite

By Bart - France - Lille

Today, our company was being visited by one of our biggest clients, a rich Japanese businessman. My boss wanted to honour him by welcoming him while wearing a kimono in the reception area of our building. The client was in a suit and tie, and I don't think he'll be back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28239

You deserved it

3487

Favorite

By sosadbuttrue - Switzerland

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19113

You deserved it

27772

Favorite

By stagedivefail - Australia

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10830

You deserved it

59478

Favorite

By jonloran - United States - Incline Village

Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25615

You deserved it

2249

Favorite

By Username - France

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35244

You deserved it

5267

Favorite

By diddlysquat - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12977

You deserved it

53497

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66984

You deserved it

4682

Favorite

By daddyslittlegirl250 - United States

Today, we watched a movie in French class. I went on a French exchange last year, so I wanted to sound all impressive and cultured for my crush who is in the same class. I said that it was my favorite movie and I couldn't wait to watch it with everyone. The movie turned out to be about incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10033

You deserved it

83866

Favorite

By Awahso - United States - Buford

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43116

You deserved it

3587

Favorite

By fedlife - United States

Today, I was going running. It was an especially windy day and things were flying through the wind. Apparently, bodily fluid can also fly through the wind. Turns out, a women was barfing over a bridge and the wind caught it and it flew through the air. Right into my face and body. FML

I agree, your life sucks

84257

You deserved it

3815

Favorite

By Not Gay - United States - Williamston

Today, I found out the reason my crush has been talking so openly to me. Not because she likes me back, but because she thinks I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30025

You deserved it

2615

Favorite

By tattooooooface - United States

Today, my dad found out I got a tattoo behind his back and is really really upset. When I got home from work my car wasn't in the driveway. When I asked my dad where it was, he replied "you'll get it back when your tattoo comes off." FML

I agree, your life sucks

15493

You deserved it

39589

Favorite

By King_of_Cha0s - United States - San Jose

Today, my PE teacher yelled at me for not trying hard enough in class. This my second week back after being in the hospital with a collapsed lung. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28858

You deserved it

1675

Favorite

By Anon - United States

Today, I was telling my coworker that I was considering quitting the shady, 50-shades-of-scum business we work at. He snitched to our boss, who quickly fired me on bullshit charges of incompetence, theft, and workplace bullying. I guess I'm not getting a good reference from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22255

You deserved it

5801

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I work for the local fire department. I had a long call and I was hot and sweaty. I decided to skinny dip in my pool because it was still dark out. Everything went great untill my flood light went on and my dad ran out with a bat. I got smacked in the side with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43801

You deserved it

6510

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, while driving home, I was so lonely I turned on my GPS, even though I knew the way, so it would feel like I had someone to talk to. It made me feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38594

You deserved it

6724

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my school put on a musical. I was one of the leads, and in the middle of my solo, I got a huge nosebleed. A little girl in the front row screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33735

You deserved it

2720

Favorite

By danny5191 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML

I agree, your life sucks

26871

You deserved it

8534

Favorite

By konichiwa - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11774

You deserved it

34436

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By DragonMaiden7 | 15

#7555289 - Saturday 21 October 2017 21:01

What? This just leaves more questions than answers for me. How does one spill tampons? Is this a new phrase for the children, or are you jumping on your desk and firing them out your cooch like a bottle rocket whenever you get mad? PLEASE say it’s the second one. It’ll remind me of my Chinese teacher.

By lccc_ | 18

#7555253 - Saturday 21 October 2017 18:00

why the fuck do the 6th graders rate the teachers ?? do they get a choice ? lol thats what ratemyprofessor is for, choices.

COMMENTS

By kusje | 29

#7555215 - Saturday 21 October 2017 15:04

I really hope that is a eufemism

By Lobby_Bee | 17

#7555217 - Saturday 21 October 2017 15:13

They talk about wardrobes and tampons? I really hope that's just from the girls and not the guys.

By EnvyMe33 | 26

#7555228 - Saturday 21 October 2017 16:30

You are lucky they aren’t saying anything about your looks.

By alainopotato | 20

#7555230 - Saturday 21 October 2017 16:35

Middle schoolers are cruel

By xtutu | 12

#7555248 - Saturday 21 October 2017 17:48

That's really bad. Those kids need a discipline.

By lccc_ | 18

#7555253 - Saturday 21 October 2017 18:00

why the fuck do the 6th graders rate the teachers ?? do they get a choice ? lol thats what ratemyprofessor is for, choices.

By DragonMaiden7 | 15

#7555289 - Saturday 21 October 2017 21:01

By Demon_of_Light | 27

#7555364 - Sunday 22 October 2017 2:51

Kids can be cruel, but I can't automatically side with the teacher here. In seventh grade one of my teachers never wore a bra, and had other such wardrobe issues. It was very distracting and often uncomfortable for the students.

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7555371 - Sunday 22 October 2017 3:07

"Oh it's called ratemyteachers.com. I'm on a completely different, more awesome site."

By Yudith | 20

#7555477 - Sunday 22 October 2017 15:27

At least your students consider you a good teacher. Just wear modest and confy clothes and if your students don't pay attention, hit them with a strawberry jam tampon.