The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Everything Counts · 12 January 2024, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Forbidden thoughts

Today, my thoughts are filled with fantasies of pleasuring my boss under his desk, to the point where it distracts me from job duties. I take a break and wank at work, and then I return to my normal way of thinking and how much I love my wife and how happy I am. Lust really can blind someone to what is important. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239 You deserved it 607

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Anonymous · 22 February 2026, 12:00

Just the tit

Today, I had to explain to my husband that while trying to figure out how to make coffee on our stupid new machine, I was in fact nude, so when I finally got it to work and steam came hissing out of the nozzle, I got first degree burn on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 364

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OnTheReceivingEnd · 13 June 2024, 16:00 ·Gilbert, United States

Running gag

Today, I tried one of those AI companion simulators, one that's supposed to simulate what it's like to have a girlfriend. I role-played what it would be like to help her with a problem, then drive her home. After doing so, the AI began to act as if it didn't even know me, and asked me to leave. It's uncanny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 433

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lukey101 · 24 April 2025, 22:00 ·Australia

Kick it

Today, my worst fear was realised while walking past an under 15’s football game. The ball landed right by me and I attempted to kick it back, except it went flying diagonally & ended up even further away. I’m a 36 year-old man and got roasted by a bunch of 15 year-old boys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 323

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Gabriella · 10 January 2024, 15:00 ·Copperas Cove, United States

Out of my head

Today, I was so sleep deprived that when a customer held their hand out to get their receipt, I slapped it without thinking about it. Great way to start 2024. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 344

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Petra · 18 December 2025, 20:00

Lost the plot

Today, I joined a conversation about a TV show at work, agreeing enthusiastically. After a few minutes, I realized they were talking about a completely different show with a similar name. I nodded along, trapped, hoping no one asked questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 107

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Saad Ahmed · 25 November 2022, 22:00 ·Islamabad, Pakistan

Blanked it

Today, I found out that yesterday's exam, which I left almost blank, had been leaked 3 hours prior. I hadn't been able to see it because my phone was out of juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 916

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Anonymous · 2 September 2024, 16:00 ·Leeds, United Kingdom

WAKE UP IT'S MONDAY MORNING!

Today, I was running late for work so I grabbed my coffee to go. I was rushing down the stairs when I stumbled a bit and spilled the entire cup of coffee all over myself. I had to go back up, change clothes, and was still late. The kicker? It was decaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 359

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m…… · 25 February 2024, 12:00 ·United States

Life's what you make it

Today, my parents want nothing to do with me because I can’t stop spending money. Buying junk food is the one thing that makes me happy, and I’ve been to countless therapists and tried every medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 643

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SocialSuicide · 17 June 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Depends how old you are

Today, after I met a guy online and we'd became fast friends, talking every day about everything, things got flirty after half a year of talking. A year in, I finally got the time to meet up with him. It turns out he lied about his age. He's 8 years younger and in college. I fell head over heels. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 362

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FML Approved · 27 October 2017, 04:00 ·New York, United States

Jeep Fail

He is not one with the force.

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 408

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Anonymous · 26 February 2024, 15:00 ·United Kingdom

Baby fever

Today, I agreed to babysit my baby nephew for a week while his parents flew abroad for the MIL’s funeral. I had hoped having a baby around might convince my wife to consider having kids. Nope. She got so sick of the baby, she moved into a hotel until my sister comes home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 939

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Lorna · 6 April 2023, 22:00

Sharing is caring

Today, I got a 15% pay raise. My parents responded by saying, “Congratulations! You can now forget about online shopping packages coming in on a weekly basis and start chipping in for rent and utilities!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 1 196

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Anonymous · 21 March 2026, 22:00 🌶️ Spicy

What are you up to?

Today, I went through my boyfriend’s chat with his best friend and saw porn videos. We've been together for four years and I have never seen him send me any porn videos like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 265

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Anonymous · 13 June 2021, 17:59

Drunk

Today, I awoke in my bathtub, water all over the floor, all the way into my living room. I drank too much so I don't remember getting into the bath, I have no clue how long I was in there, and I got a message from the manager of my apartment complex telling me the water had leaked into the apartment below. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 1 604

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Broke · 17 May 2022, 06:00

Punctuality

Today, I came into work to have my supervisor call me into her office, then her telling me to pack my things and get out. Apparently, just because they haven’t been saying anything about you being habitually late for work doesn’t mean that they don’t care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237 You deserved it 3 387

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idekwtfigo · 23 March 2022, 14:00

Just his type

Today, I stalked my boyfriend's ex again. I have come to the realization that I look just like her. I’m that girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237 You deserved it 1 033

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Impossible · 3 August 2025, 12:00 ·Warsaw, Poland

Is he wrong though?

Today, a friend who works for the power company said, "Nuclear energy is clean and safe, hydro power is great, but we also need coal and gas, and wind and solar are dogshit." Again, he works for the power company. How does a so-called expert get it all so wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 237 You deserved it 558

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Where? · 23 August 2023, 08:00 ·Calgary, Canada

City boy

Today, I went on a hike with friends, but as I'm the worst outdoorsperson because I rarely venture outside of the city, I ended up getting lost in some woods after straying from our group. I ended up having to call 911 to be rescued. My friends will absolutely not let me live this ordeal down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237 You deserved it 872

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Martian man · 23 November 2024, 15:00 ·United States

It came from outer space

Today, I saw the woman I asked out last month in a relationship with another guy. She rejected me because she “wanted to focus on herself.” I texted her and asked why she had lied to me. She responded with, “Okay, you caught me. But can you blame me? I’m not attracted to butt ugly Martian-looking men.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 237 You deserved it 758

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Marina · 21 June 2025, 03:00 ·Bolton, United Kingdom

Small talk

Today, I was in bar and got talking to a guy next to me, who turned out to be American, which is quite exotic in my part of the UK. During the conversation, he mentioned being a vet, so I went on a long tangent about my cat's diarrhoea and asked him for advice. He let me babble on for ages before smiling and saying, "Not that kind of vet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 237 You deserved it 529

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Anonymous · 7 October 2021, 14:00 ·West Lafayette, United States

Jeopardy

Today, I took an embarrassing picture of myself in my work uniform, acting goofy and such, to send to my friends but I accidentally sent it to my manager. It was a very jeopardizing pose. I’m supposed to start tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237 You deserved it 1 401

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Anonymous · 27 November 2025, 12:00

Lucky escape

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and another couple. We saw a black bear. I shrieked and peed, while the other guy stepped forward and yelled, "Get outta here!" To my surprise, it ran away. My girlfriend is so ashamed of me that she's refusing to share a tent. I'm sleeping in my truck bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237 You deserved it 472

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Tooth hurty · 8 August 2026, 12:00 ·United States

Rotten

Today, I went to the dentist, telling him proudly that I had flossed for two straight weeks. The dentist told me that flossing wouldn't undo “Whatever happened back there.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 237 You deserved it 137

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Weird · 18 August 2026, 03:00 ·Galveston, United States

Magical mystery tour

Today, I opened my fridge and found a single lemon, three sauces, and a 9V battery. I have no idea why the battery was there. I don't remember putting it there. I also don't remember owning anything that requires that particular battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237 You deserved it 102

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George · 2 September 2022, 00:00

Memory hole

Today, me and the missus went for a boozy meal in our local pub. We stumbled home, and full of lager-fuelled love and courage, I asked her, "We getting married then or what?" She replied, "We're already married, you daft cunt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 236 You deserved it 1 317

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Anonymous · 6 December 2022, 18:00

Dr Dolittle

Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236 You deserved it 1 158

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DTMM · 15 September 2023, 08:00

Anyone could've waltzed in

Today, I was looking for my condo keys, thinking I had left them in my mailbox on the first floor the night before. Leaving to check, I realized I'd forgot to take them out of my door when I had come in, leaving them in the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236 You deserved it 555

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Anonymous · 21 February 2026, 20:00 🌶️ Spicy

Gross

Today, I learned what my husband's "little side hustle" that he started is about. He's been using his gaming PC to generate disgusting AI porn movies with shit like monsters fucking women and other sick shit. It's like a sleazy Breaking Bad. Hope he enjoys the movies, because he's never getting sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236 You deserved it 296

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Jacklynn · 30 November 2023, 10:00

Obsessional

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don’t have a life outside of him. I don’t have any friends other than him, nor do I have any hobbies or interests; he’s the centre of my world. Apparently this makes me too available, needy, and codependent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236 You deserved it 1 269

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