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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML

#19679024
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15146) - you deserved it (2904)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by KieRendan (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
498 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15141) - you deserved it (217634)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15140) - you deserved it (51678)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15134) - you deserved it (52788)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, I spent four hours practicing funny voices. I have literally nothing better to do all day. FML

#1292
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15128) - you deserved it (7324)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by Mystery LeRale - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML

#4582506
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15124) - you deserved it (39269)

On 08/16/2009 at 9:00pm - misc - by Ricky (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my news feed, I notice a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML

#18291924
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15124) - you deserved it (34288)

On 11/19/2011 at 7:52pm - misc - by beccabooyah - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML

#4420726
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15123) - you deserved it (52728)

On 08/10/2009 at 2:12am - love - by HouseMdFangirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a month after my 21st birthday, I received my health exam results. I don't remember the night of the birthday because I was hammered. However, I called my friend and it's now clear that the stripper they paid to have her way with me, had Chlamydia. FML

#14545291
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15123) - you deserved it (31895)

On 01/11/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to leave the movie theater early because I couldn't fit in the chairs. I guess I'll see it when it comes out on DVD. FML

#19118368
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15119) - you deserved it (52663)

On 02/19/2012 at 10:00pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

#6413436
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15114) - you deserved it (5762)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by NotsexyEnough - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was shopping for rings with my fiancée. We spent over 2 hours selecting the perfect ring and diamond to match. When filling out the paperwork I discovered I left my wallet at home. She had to pay the 20% down payment for the ring. FML

#3369756
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15109) - you deserved it (48462)

On 06/30/2009 at 3:55pm - love - by BrokeInLove - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to Uni. I woke up at six and got to the station as the train was leaving. I was congratulating myself on my brilliant skill when, as we passed the carpark, I saw I had left my headlights on. It later cost more for the lead to jump start my car than it would have to drive to Uni myself. FML

#8580387
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15098) - you deserved it (6011)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by car_FAILure (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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