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Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML

#20050522
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15783) - you deserved it (8107)

On 08/31/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by baconlady (woman) - United States

Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize that my neighbor was not having it off, she was actually vacuuming her apartment. It's been so long since I've had sex that I can't even recognize the sound of other people having it. FML

#5858048
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15773) - you deserved it (3710)

On 10/16/2009 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

#13915907
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15772) - you deserved it (53203)

On 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by pst - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I bought a mini tracking device to attach to my wallet to keep me from losing it. Unfortunately, before I could put batteries in the tracking device, I lost it. FML

#2681
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15763) - you deserved it (7827)

On 01/26/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Jacobro - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML

#851826
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15756) - you deserved it (86625)

On 04/07/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, I was peppered with questions about my swollen eye and if I'd gotten into a fight. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd been brutally beaten into submission by a doorknob. FML

#19339919
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15758) - you deserved it (3283)

On 03/24/2012 at 5:07pm - health - by Stephen (man) - Sweden

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

#5006277
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15755) - you deserved it (39034)

On 09/02/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by ooops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked out of my house, waved at my neighbors, walked through my front yard and into the side yard to turn off the sprinkler. It wasn't until I was back into the house that I remembered I wasn't wearing a top. FML

#16066360
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15741) - you deserved it (48309)

On 05/06/2011 at 10:07am - intimacy - by eringoBRA (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my friends house for the first time in months. I saw her newest chihuahua dog, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit, straight into my eye. FML

#5422462
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15726) - you deserved it (30321)

On 09/23/2009 at 1:55am - animals - by GreatAim - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sent my boyfriend some nude pics of me. Later I get a text from my dad asking me when I had gotten a tattoo. FML

#5189
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15723) - you deserved it (47858)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:56am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after mourning and making my girlfriend cancel her big birthday party, I found out my grandma didn't actually die. FML

#14717553
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15723) - you deserved it (23945)

On 01/26/2011 at 5:31am - health - by WronglySad619 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML

#20011112
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15721) - you deserved it (20384)

On 08/09/2012 at 7:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

#8382778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15719) - you deserved it (2203)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by noosher0990 -



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