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Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18771) - you deserved it (65183)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, I was feeling really good about myself for running and walking everywhere so much so that I was out of breath and panting. Well, until I remembered that I was playing a video game and it was my character that was doing the running around that is. FML

#21063762
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18767) - you deserved it (40905)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:57pm - health - by Tomb Raider Wannabe (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

#20109009
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18766) - you deserved it (7189)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to give things a go with the guy that has fancied me for three years, based purely on my looks. After getting to know my personality he has decided he no longer fancies me at all. FML

#2272
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18765) - you deserved it (6944)

On 01/23/2009 at 1:41am - love - by twat - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML

#8156006
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18761) - you deserved it (3652)

On 02/12/2010 at 1:20am - health - by a - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
711 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18761) - you deserved it (95610)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, my boyfriend said we should re-enact a porn episode he saw. I jokingly said yes. He had an outfit and everything. I thought it was going to be fun, until he started playing Bon Jovi in the background. FML

#8910631
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18760) - you deserved it (5846)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Ah - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML

#20067208
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18757) - you deserved it (2256)

On 09/11/2012 at 2:47am - misc - by NotDrunk (man) - United States (California)

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

#15401902
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18755) - you deserved it (9305)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:32pm - misc - by thebravelittletoaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, I failed to get my drivers licence. My father was the instructor. FML

#13701806
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18754) - you deserved it (23683)

On 11/03/2010 at 1:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

#8085634
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18752) - you deserved it (5944)

On 02/10/2010 at 10:08am - intimacy - by ryan - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML

#19348769
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18749) - you deserved it (1894)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by Ringo McDingo (man) - United States

Today, I decided to break up with my boyfriend. The main reason being that he doesn't value my time, and fails to see how canceling at the last minute is rude and a major inconvenience. I wanted to be respectful enough by breaking things off face to face. He cancelled, at the last minute. FML

#21433097
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18756) - you deserved it (1586)

On 06/28/2015 at 1:06am - love - by Waste Someone Else's Time - United States



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