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Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML

#19687715
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20753) - you deserved it (2355)

On 05/27/2012 at 9:20am - work - by straightlyconfused - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

#19594903
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20751) - you deserved it (8982)

On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

#21449022
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20749) - you deserved it (9788)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:41am - misc - by fack (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that even though I was an honor student throughout school, and considered the golden child who was going to go far in life, all I've accomplished a year after graduation is becoming an unemployed single mother still living with my parents. FML

#15535054
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20748) - you deserved it (29618)

On 03/28/2011 at 7:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML

#19180349
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20748) - you deserved it (12105)

On 02/28/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by poop - United States

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

#3178
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20744) - you deserved it (5363)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by im_a_mocker - United States (New York)

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

#19369663
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20743) - you deserved it (1763)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by yelyah - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

#1751
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20740) - you deserved it (3711)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by lovekills99 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was 'the colours don't match'. FML

#6148778
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20737) - you deserved it (5268)

On 11/04/2009 at 8:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

Today, it's been exactly two years since I got my last raise. And the amount I got still allows me the luxury of being able to afford a Snickers bar every month. FML

#19488573
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20728) - you deserved it (2214)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:49am - work - by Disgruntled (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20726) - you deserved it (4736)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20723) - you deserved it (31778)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -



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