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Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

#722108
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23181) - you deserved it (70411)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML

#14740703
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23181) - you deserved it (4325)

On 01/28/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by Florida_1827 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was let go from my dream job for requesting Photoshop as well as Illustrator. I was hired to create marketing materials. Guess I should have just used Paint. FML

#21466351
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23180) - you deserved it (1522)

On 09/08/2015 at 11:34pm - work - by :'( - United States (California)

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

#20020512
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23178) - you deserved it (1652)

On 08/14/2012 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while shopping, I bumped into a guy I knew in high school. He went on about he heard I'd got married, looked like I'd had a baby, and that, "she looks just like you!" The kid was my niece, and my husband broke up with me 2 years ago. Thanks for bringing that up. FML

#19838088
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23178) - you deserved it (5075)

On 06/24/2012 at 6:57am - misc - by thankspal (woman) - United States

Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML

#21497712
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23178) - you deserved it (1571)

On 11/28/2015 at 1:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent half an hour trying to convince my husband not to re-enact a video he saw online of a guy tying some rope to a running chainsaw, then swinging it around his head. He finally agreed not to do something so stupid. A few hours later, he did it anyway. FML

#21497413
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23179) - you deserved it (2474)

On 11/27/2015 at 7:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was still easier for me to get an engineering PhD than it is to get a girlfriend. FML

#21452435
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23175) - you deserved it (2840)

On 08/05/2015 at 9:22pm - love - by still single (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML

#13876997
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23175) - you deserved it (7866)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML

#8772843
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23173) - you deserved it (4174)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:21pm - kids - by kansasgirl (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my entire region received record rainfall, with torrential downpours all day and night. Today was also the day I discovered my car's sunroof leaks, when I was greeted with two inches of standing water in my floorboards. FML

#13151203
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23173) - you deserved it (2456)

On 09/22/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by waterlogged - United States

Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd just took looked like a tiger claw. He announced this during dinner, and told us not to flush it until he could take a picture. FML

#19369431
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23173) - you deserved it (2000)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by a - United States

Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML

#13930186
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23172) - you deserved it (3981)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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