Break up

the ultimate orgasm ruiner!!

Gotta kik?

Why would you eat a whole tub of blueberries in the first place???

"Your turning violet, Violet!" OP must really love them blueberries.

Yeah I would agree your life sucks. Try not to get too blue. Stiff upper lip and all that. Have to swallow your pride and move on. Ok I getting on my own nerves with my puns now.

Your fault for doing that with someone youre not in a relationship with :/

#6 are you actually serious?

Shut up #6. This is 2016 in the 21st century, not the 1950s. People have sexual desires and are allowed to satisfy them in whatever way they want as long as it's consensual and they take precautions. Being in a relationship does not validate the ability to have sex and make it "more moral."

Yeah I agree #12, but she didn't take any precautions apparently, if he said she should get herself checked.

Maybe he said she should get checked up because of her violet bluberry puke? How could he know that she has eaten so many blueberries and it's not a normal colour...

People hook up all the time. Not up to you or anyone else to police someone elses sex life

Eating a lot right before doing something that has a high chance of making you gag? Ya, you deserve that one.

Because we should all walk around with empty bellies all the time?

#8 What is it with you spamming bad rhymes? No one wanted your mix tape?

I, personally, love your limericks. You keep doing you.

this is by far the funniest thing I've seen in my life

It's a bluejob, not a blowjob. Never understood why they call them blowjobs anyway. Suckjob would be much more appropriate.