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The all-time greatest FMLs

By Insanity - 09/04/2015 05:28 - France - La Poste

Today, I managed to get my 4-year-old son to agree that, "cigarettes are poop." I was a lot less proud of myself when he pointed at a 6-foot bodybuilder-type dude in the subway and yelled, "That man smells of pooooooop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 151

Only skin deep

By Anonymous - 26/05/2024 20:00 - United States - Great Bend

Today, I've been married for 17 years. I struggle with OCD and there are some things I can't get past mentally. One is tattoos. I have no sex drive toward women with tattoos. Friends only if they have tattoos. My wife knows this issue. My wife got her first 4 tattoos in February. Why?? Sex drive gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 388

By tal - 22/08/2012 09:57 - France

Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 65

Do not want

By Anonymous - 08/10/2020 14:01 - Europe

Today, I had a chat with a one-night stand and she's decided to keep the child. My life is basically over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 2 747

The trauma table

By Anonymous - 01/12/2021 23:02

Today, I was sitting with a group of people at lunch. I was having a bad day, so I began venting to them. Eventually, they got tired of it and banned me from the table, because my "depressing mindset" reminds them of their trauma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 1 084

Glory days

By Anonymous - 03/12/2023 16:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 241

Dinner is on me

By I have no words - 24/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, after a long and exhausting day at work, I had no energy to do much of anything, so with that in mind, I got Arby's on the way home. When I did get home and was trying to carry the bag inside, it ripped open and spilled my food all over the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 106

Bored but gossipy

By Skier Bi - 30/01/2023 22:30

Today, I'm stuck at my future brother-in-law’s Bachelor party. Ten guys I don’t know, who are all younger than me. It turns out two of them have been fucking since High School, and it’s an open secret in their group. I won’t out them, but only cause I don’t care enough to remember names. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 865

Memento

By Sips - 15/01/2025 20:00 - Estonia - Tallinn

Today, I have problems with my memory. I asked a teacher if I could let my class know a bit about it. The teacher said I'd already told my class about it. My class had even asked a few questions to me about it. I don't remember anything about it. Maybe it didn't happen and the teacher just lied to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 105

Stomy weather

By OnTheReceivingEnd - 07/04/2024 16:00 - United States - Mesa

Today, I looked back on my romantic history: a marriage that ended when my wife cheated on men, four girlfriends who took advantage of me, and my first girlfriend showed up for my first date after putting on stage makeup that made it look like I beat her up just before our date. "Better to have loved and lost," my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 145

Bridezilla situation is crazy

By Anonymous - 19/03/2026 15:00

Today, at our wedding, my wife screamed at her niece and made a big scene about her wearing a white dress. Her niece is four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 77

Splashed out

By bit_fluff - 20/10/2020 02:01

Today, I decided to redye my hair. And the sink, and the wall, and the toilet seat, and the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 914

Way to miss the point

By Anonymous - 02/12/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I apologized to my mother-in-law for not wanting to be around the family babies while I am struggling with infertility. She responded that that was OK but that I should still really meet my baby nephew, because, "He is the most precious baby ever!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 178

Liar !

By Anonymous - 14/03/2020 09:00

Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 1 311

Hi mom!

By jonnie - 07/05/2020 02:00

Today, I learned Google Assistant and Google Home work harmoniously together if I blabber on without ending a command, like when sending a text to my mom about canceling dinner plans because I’m fake sick and going to hook up with this guy, it’ll send every word. My mistake & lesson learned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 2 238

Self love

By why - 28/02/2023 16:00 - United States - Brookline

Today, I broke my leg. It's bad enough on its own, but I secretly have a fetish for casts and crutches. I'm constantly turned on and it's driving me crazy. Six weeks to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 1 233

The golden child

By Anonymous - 27/08/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to use my mum's laptop so she told me the password was just my sister's name. I hit a wrong key and misspelled it, so the incorrect password prompt came on screen. The prompt was: "Favourite child?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 91

Meat beating

By Anonymous - 07/05/2024 09:00 - New Zealand

Today, I attended a family gathering where everyone was taking turns sharing exciting life updates. When it was my turn, I proudly announced that I'd finally mastered the art of adulting... only for my dad to pipe up with, "Makes a change from when you used to wank like a gibbon thinking we couldn't hear you up there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 236

Long haul

By Anonymous - 04/06/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I’ve had an irregular period my whole life. I was on birth control and took out my IUD in January. I’ve had my period ever since. It’s going on 5 months now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 101

Dingus

By Anonymous - 27/12/2023 06:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in attempt to save a few bucks on visiting the doctor, my drunk husband tried to relocate his own disjointed finger, using a vice grip. We ended up with an $800 ambulance bill and then a welfare check from Social Services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 158

Unplugged

By Anonymous - 12/11/2023 08:00 - Belgium - Merendree

Today, after working many 80+ hour weeks, a patient called to urgently come with their sick infant. Of course, I stayed late to help them. The baby had been constipated for a full 24 hours, and the parents had panicked. During the examination, the baby shat on my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 93

Such a great guy

By Anonymous - 02/02/2022 05:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, I learned that people never change. My boyfriend left me at three months pregnant, the same thing he did to his last girlfriend. I know now exactly how things will go down for my successor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 1 194

Parenting is sharing

By Stephanie - 12/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, as a new mother post-partum, I was overwhelmed as fuck. I hit rock bottom. I couldn’t get my infant to stop crying. I already fed him, changed his diaper, and held him. My husband smugly told me, “Why you crying for? You were moaning, “Nut inside me, Daddy” during sex. This is what you signed up for!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 353

Great idea for a fun night

By Anonymous - 10/08/2023 14:00 - Spain - Salamanca

Today, to my surprise, my girlfriend accepted to try bondage, despite not being particularly turned on by it. I understood why when, after she firmly tied me up to the bed, she ate 80% of the two-person cake we bought for dinner. In front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 364

Get on with it

By Luk - 30/06/2025 22:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, my wife gave me hell for not returning an Amazon package to Whole Foods on my day off. The closest Whole Foods is twenty minutes away, right by my work. Why should I waste an hour of my day off when I can do it after work tomorrow? FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 99

Throw in the towel

By Anonymous - 26/08/2021 14:01

Today, my plan to punish my husband by leaving him for a week completely failed. When I got home from the hotel, he had his buddies over happily watching football, but his face fell when I walked in, like I’d ruined his day by coming home. I don’t think my marriage can be saved at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 1 529

Oral relief

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 20:00

Today, I went to the store with my mask on, as usual. As I walked past a guy, he reached out and tore the mask off my face, revealing my secret: a pacifier I use to control my horrible anxiety and agoraphobia. I froze, then collapsed to the ground screaming, and had a stress-triggered seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 548

Over my dead body

By Anonymous - 07/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I prevented my brother from attending our sister's funeral, since they hated each other and she didn't want him there, in accordance with her wishes. Now the whole family hates me and say that I should have let him in and that sometimes, you have to go against someone's wishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 132

Bless her heart

By oh honey - 22/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my 17 year-old reacted with shock and horror when she learned that a single utility bill can amount to more than 200 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 164

Medicare for all, please?

By GladIAmMovingAbroad - 20/10/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I went to urgent care for cloudy vision and eye pain to rule out an infection. They freaked out and pressured me into going to the ER, implying I could lose my vision. Several hours and thousands of dollars later, I just have dry eyes. I hate our healthcare system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 108

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The Top

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 211

You deserved it 21 395

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 334

You deserved it 3 741

Today, I went shopping with a friend. She picked up a hundred dollars on the floor that somebody dropped. I told her, "I feel sorry for the retard who dropped the money." When I got home, I checked my purse and realized that I was missing a hundred dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 621

You deserved it 43 169

Today, I went to get food. I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and all of a sudden it got hard to breathe. I realized it was a blueberry muffin, and I'm deathly allergic to blueberries. I looked at my friend, and she was laughing, saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 198

You deserved it 5 917

Today, my two month-old continued teething. Her mouth is too small for teethers and pacifiers because she’s small for her age, she only thing giving her relief is using my breast as a teether. I’m cut and bruised, and there's no end in sight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 1 162

Today, I returned from wading in a foot of snow to go to a hearing and back, and opened my emails. My boss had sent me an email on Friday at 4:30 telling me I didn't have to go in. On Friday, there was the company Christmas party. He was there. So was I. He told me nothing. Nor did he call me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 174