I can kind of see where OP's husband's thinking is coming from, but unfortunately it doesn't really work that way.

Looks like someone needs to go back to Sex Ed.

@39 The longer the time spent between ejaculation the slower the sperm is... Plus those will be some painful blue balls.

We can tell that he was the fastest...

Really 2? You seriously had to say that?

No this is fucking hilarious

Well, it's kinda true. Sperm builds up Cumulatively for up to 3 days until the body gets rid of it internally, but the sperm certainly doesn't compete more - just that there's more of it, and that outcome is more likely to be successful if they normally had sex every 3 days (and he doesn't fap in between) - but doing it once a day or more is far more likely to be successful than any other method.

I think you misunderstood. The husband thinks the son/daughter will be more successful as they grow up as a result of this 'competition'. Needless to say this is untrue.

In reality, you are not necessarily the result of the fastest sperm, because it takes multiple sperm to break through the membrane of the egg and whichever one is lucky enough to get in first wins.

So your husband is a complete idiot and you still can't seduce him?

@38 You're related to OP's husband, aren't you?

73, that is what the husband is saying...

For some reason this FML reminds me of that Family Guy episode, when Stewie is fighting his 'brother' in sperm ships. Anyone else?

I took "cumulatively" as a pun.

Umm 38, I'm pretty sure you're the one who miss understood

Every FML reminds someone of a Family Guy episode. Which reminds me of the "Simpsons did it!" episode in South Park.

No 192, that is what the husband thought... Oh humanity is doomed. -__-

Am I the only one who took this as OP's husband making an excuse to avoid having sex in order to put off having kids?

Uh, that's not the reason at all, dumb ass breeder, he doesn't want kids. You two haven't decided, you pressured him into agreeing.

Agreed!

I found that to be the perfect 'excuse' to do some extra exercising :) I'm now the proud father of 2 wonderful children

Actually if you wait a little the sperm quality will improve. Thats why you have to not masturbate for three days if you want to donate sperm. And the body is alsp capable of getting rid of the 'old dead' sperm itself. But you're right that it's possible to wait too long, but a few weeks won't do any damage.

Keep 'em cumming!

What you doin'? I was out at the stoire and thought, that guy's an ace hole...he should way more

#260 what the bloody dickens are you talking about?

Multiple eggs tend to be released when a woman is older, nature's way of giving you a better chance of at least one being fertilized since the eggs are older and less viable.

Ah. Learn something new every day :) thanks 95

Awesome dumbing it down for the needy...

That's amazing

Actually in some cases people can have more than one egg deposited a month, especially those with the twin gene in their gene pool.

And have a long tail and end up head first up someone's uterus? That's a weird kid.

*become

that was a (ban) pun... you really didn't get that?

Sorry, but it was so bad I honestly didn't get it

Let in swim* in.

Sink or swim...better for sperm to swim than sink

That super awkward moment when someone (126) goes to correct someone and makes a mistake never gets old.

Ha! I like that idea. It'll help on two fronts: reduce the level to your husbands, and increase baby chances.