Love, Annoying and Dating: Women be smiling

Women be smiling

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 03:00

Today, it's not enough that men IRL tell me to smile, now the dating apps have OK'd this and decided it's fine to send me email with a stock phrase saying, "[Match's name] wants to see you smile back!" Online dating is the bane of my existence but also my best bet for not being single forever. Curse you, eHarmony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 298

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

It's been a while…

By Rob - 03/10/2022 04:00 - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, I realized that every other targeted ad I see is for some sort of dating app. I've been single on and off for 5 years now, and it's starting to get to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 142

Bad start

By Shamu - 20/04/2022 00:00

Today, after 4 years of being single, I decided to go back to the dating scene. I downloaded Tinder. My matches run for the hills as soon as I show them a full body pic of myself. One guy even told me to delete the app from my phone, because if “guys wanted to go whaling, they’d go out to sea.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 394

The curse

By Anonymous - 04/05/2020 20:00

Today, at a time when dating app usage is at an all time high, in 3 months I've only managed 4 likes and one brief match on Bumble. I'm not terrible looking by any means, yet I'm weeks away from my 8-year anniversary of being single. Am I cursed or something? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 492

You deserved it 245

By looking - 25/09/2009 18:16 - United States

Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 400

You deserved it 17 642

By Anonymous - 12/06/2009 15:05 - United States

Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 834

You deserved it 4 376

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 11:29 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I woke up to an email confirming my membership to a dating site. Turns out my mother is as annoyed by my loveless life as I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 157

You deserved it 2 571

By Anon - 13/06/2009 05:17 - United States

Today, I realized that I've been a member of eHarmony for almost a year. No one has ever contacted me out of the 134 people I've been "scientifically" matched with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 547

You deserved it 7 314

Trawling

By Adil Ilahi - 05/06/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - Keighley

Today, my friends yet again told me to hop on Tinder and other dating sites, saying how easy it is to match up, and I keep telling them I will soon. In reality, I've been on them for weeks, without a match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 868

You deserved it 316

First dates suck

By Anonymous - 03/09/2019 16:00

Today, I went on two dates from a dating app. The first one said halfway through that we couldn't date because it would break his contract. The second one catfished me. This is why I have multiple dates in one day. They never end well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 303

By Joboi23 - 07/03/2018 19:00

Today, I matched with a woman on Tinder with whom I'd already talked on another dating app. The conversation had died out pretty quickly, so I was surprised she gave me a second chance. Her first message was to tell me how boring I was on the other app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 079

You deserved it 776

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 30 April 2023 4:39

RichardPencil wants to see you smile back! See? FML is just like that other site, IRL.com, whoever they are.

Charlie Given 26

Sunday 30 April 2023 14:09

Lmao wrong post

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 30 April 2023 4:39

RichardPencil wants to see you smile back! See? FML is just like that other site, IRL.com, whoever they are.

FluffythePink 22

Sunday 30 April 2023 13:10

I'm sorry but that's hilarious. Has it occurred to you that perhaps your wife doesn't like hairy chests? You expect her to shave for you... Or if you don't fancy the skin problems then Lazer removal is affordable and Groupon do some excellent deals. Give her something she actually wants for your next Anniversary, a nice, smooth, lickable chest where she doesn't have to suck rug to get to a nipple anymore...

Charlie Given 26

Sunday 30 April 2023 14:09

Lmao wrong post

Hangryko 31

Sunday 30 April 2023 16:24

@FluffythePink - Wrong FML.

Yudith 24

Sunday 30 April 2023 17:29

Time to fill up the rest of your profile. A thing that makes me cringe... People asking me to smile. A secret about me... I am actually smiling on my photo. I have resting b**** face. My travel plans are... Going to Japan the day everybody wears a blank face mask. A fantasy I have... You will have to ask me in person. Let's just say it involves the Joker.