By NotFromAustralia - 08/07/2016 05:25 - United States - Denver

Today, I thought the earwig infestation that had plagued my basement apartment for weeks had finally solved itself. Turns out the black widow infestation took care of it for me. Time to move. FML
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You deserved it 853
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Top comments

hman1025 17

Fire is the only logical solution here

208 2
granpa_haribo 13

Exterminator be like "Sorry ma'm nothing left to do here, gonna have to burn the place down"

107 0

Comments

hman1025 17

Fire is the only logical solution here

208 2
SecundusSecunda 27

No such thing as logical in the face of such adversity One must use the ultimate firepower available If the entire neighborhood perishes so be it

39 0
Scorpio1691 29

I wonder if the fuel station sells at a bulk discount rate.

25 0
reaxion 25

Why can't I like this more than once?!

10 0
granpa_haribo 13

Exterminator be like "Sorry ma'm nothing left to do here, gonna have to burn the place down"

107 0
TheNewGuy03 28

A flamethrower is a solid investment.

6 0
Namenlos_fml 20

Yup. And great for clearing snow in the winter time

1 1
KeatonHanson 28

I hope you called somebody to take care of that situation

4 0
Tripartita 44

I'm surprised whatever deity is trying to exile you skipped right over locusts to black widows. They basically skipped over the triple dare of plagues.

28 0
pheizer01 10

I love how if theres an earwig infestation, which earwigs are ******* terrifying, everybody is like "oh no its fine", but the second a spider just meanders on by everybody loses their shit

20 2
CrassKal 27

They don't actually burrow into your ear, you know?

7 1
Draugen 16

Unlike earwigs, black widows are highly venomous. Might want to take that into consideration.

23 0
MetalxSoldier 26

Black widows aren't as fatal as one might assume and spiders usually don't bother you if you don't bother them. Spiders are actually very helpful in getting rid of pests which can cause harm to you or your home.

8 3
manofmerr 27

Have you never seen arachnophobia, IT, The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, or The Incredible shrinking man? Have you never played Limbo, Tera, The unfinished swan, or probably any RPG ever? You know what all of those things have in common? Giant, blood sucking, soul rending, EVIL in the form of SPIDERS! And a black widow is just plain lethal, forget scary.

6 1
TheNewGuy03 28

As nice as you might be for trying to comfort OP, it says he/she has an infestation of black widows, which puts OP at a very high risk for being bitten.

2 0
manofmerr 27

Or scared to death. Or the op might be spun up in a giant web and slowly suffocate. Or the op might just become spider man/woman...but thats unlikely, unlike death, which is likely...Or at the very least, a period of time in which the op wishes he/she were dead will come to pass if he/she were to get bit..

0 0
SixthSinEnvy 39

Sounds like the story of the little old woman who swallowed a spider.

7 0
Etweens96 25

You must defeat the black widows with their natural enemy the praying mantis!!

6 0