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The all-time greatest FMLs

Red scare

By Disowning him - 11/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I was meeting with my landlord to discuss buying the house I currently rent. It was going great, and he was going to give us an amazing deal. Until my idiot "socialist" teenage son barged in and attacked him, calling him a "bourgeoisie landowner." Now we're practically homeless and facing charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 178

Not yet

By Anonymous - 13/02/2023 04:00

Today, my husband's friend and I realised that we have mutual feelings of attraction for each other. We're both in struggling marriages, which we don't want to give up on yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 510

Take it easy

By Endrit Begolli - 27/06/2023 00:02 - Albania

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 260

Humblebrag much?

By Anonymous - 02/06/2022 06:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my fling with a local waiter ended. I'm studying for a professional designation exam, I make $130k/year, and I have a lake house in the mountains. He smokes pot in his mom's basement, has been arrested for stealing, has totaled 3 cars, and would rather collect unemployment than work. He dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 2 598

Nervous?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to my GP to discuss my anxiety. As I was explaining my symptoms, I accidentally farted loudly due to my nervousness. The doctor paused and said, "Well, let's address that as well." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 159

By Indiandisaster - 18/09/2012 00:25 - India - Madras

Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the only city in France. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 73

Relax, don't do it

By Anonymous - 21/08/2023 06:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was excited to finally use the expensive bath bombs I'd been saving. I filled the tub, dropped one in, and settled in for a relaxing soak. The bath bomb fizzed so much that it created a bubble mountain that spilled over, flooding my bathroom with colorful suds. My "relaxing" bath turned into a Slip 'N Slide adventure as I tried to mop up the mess in my birthday suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 191

Won't somebody think of the landlords?!

By Kevin - 05/06/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I had to text my landlord to tell him I’m gonna be short on rent. The guy who mugged me last night took the money I made from tips that was supposed to complete my rent. He replied, “Wow that’s wild. I don’t know how you’re gonna come up with the rest by 11:59 tonight, or you’re evicted in 30 days.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 146

Sitcom moment

By Anonymous - 24/01/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my crush invited me to her house and I ended up meeting her dad. Then she suddenly had to dash off because her boyfriend, whom I had no idea existed, unexpectedly had free time so they were going on a last minute date, which left me awkwardly sat there in the kitchen with her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 118

Helping hands

By Anonymous - 02/12/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my first poop at home after having my baby, and it was a total mess. I still have no strength in my legs so while trying to clean myself I fell and couldn’t get up. The only one in the house was my father-in-law, so he had to pick me up naked with poop down my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 123

Faulty logic

By hhhhhhhh - 28/09/2023 06:00

Today, my daughter thinks the way to save money is to stop taking her antidepressants, because they give her “uncontrollable” food cravings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 118

Hustlers University

By jpaylay - 20/05/2023 01:00

Today, I was told it was “disgusting” that we charged $1.75 for 2 donuts instead of 3 for the same price. I had to throw them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 100

Trauma dumping

By WHYWORLDWHY - 27/05/2023 03:00 - Canada - Milton

Today, my father forced me to go to therapy, then dumped out everything I made there into our sink. Apparently, I'm "not a batshit crazy psycho who needed to go to therapy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 114

The long goodbye

By Anonymous - 22/12/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around when her dad burst in, proclaimed an, “Aha! I caught you you pervert!” moment and threw me out of the house. We’re in our 30s with kids, and jointly own that house. Having a father in law with Alzheimer's is great isn’t it? Just fecking great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 148

The gift that keeps on giving

By Anonymous - 14/12/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, after I fell off of a 150-foot cliff, bruised like crazy with two skull fractures and two foot fractures, one of my closest friends brought his sick girlfriend to visit me while I’m pretty much immobile, and I tested positive for COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 118

Guilty

By Fly-Trapping Monster - 14/08/2022 16:00 - United States

Today, I walked past my fly strip while a fly who had been caught, but hadn't yet died, was on it. While I was there, I could hear his frantic buzzing and see his little arms flailing like mad as he tried in vain to escape. Great. Now I feel like shit for putting these things up. What kind of a monster am I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 392

Mother of the year

By Anonymous - 10/09/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my ex-wife brought the kids to me angry that she had tried to pick up some guy but the kids ruined it just by being there, so she brought them to my house because she couldn’t be bothered this week. The judge giving her primary custody is a travesty of our legal system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 101

Interruption

By Freddie06 - 18/10/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a first date, and it was going surprisingly well. As we were saying goodbye, I leaned in for a kiss. Just as our lips were about to meet, a car full of teenagers drove by and one of them yelled, "TONGUE SANDWICH." My date burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 160

The gang

By Anonymous - 05/02/2025 20:00 - Ireland - Portlaoise

Today, I went to my friend's house to celebrate her birthday but 3 of them ganged up on me and molested my arse cheeks. Later, someone found a wooden plank and spanked me hard. There was also a BB gun and my arse was the target. I have been a social outcast all my life, and these are my only friends, but I'm always hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 151

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 17/06/2022 02:00

Today, nothing changed. Today was the same, and I feel like I'm in a dark comedy version of the movie Groundhog Day meets The Truman Show. I hate dark comedies. I want my life to be canceled… I mean, this movie to be canceled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 239

What did you do?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2024 06:00

Today, at my niece's christening, I was outside with family when we suddenly heard shouting and the priest pushing my husband outside while screaming, “GET OUT OF MY CHURCH!” Friar Tuck style. It’s been six hours and husband still won’t tell me what he did that upset a priest that badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 133

Classic

By thirsty artist - 28/09/2023 08:00

Today, I was working on a painting and went to take a sip of my tea. Instead, I took a swig of paint water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 258

By chachaxxx - 09/11/2011 11:35 - Mexico

Today, it’s my girlfriend’s birthday, so I ordered a cake at the bakery and asked the baker to write “Happy birthday Marie!” in italic, because I think it’s prettier. When I opened the box, I saw “HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARIE IN ITALY!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 77

Knackered

By kira - 19/07/2023 10:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I have to go work for ten hours in a warehouse after getting no sleep at all. I get horrendously sick if I don’t sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 224

The Irish goodbye

By Lost Reggie - 25/03/2024 06:00 - United States - Memphis

Today, I'd thought that I'd found the new love of my life. She wanted me, I wanted her, we were compatible on so many levels. I have known her for 15 years, and she had asked me on a date. Last night, she unfriended, blocked, and ghosted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 131

Brotherly love

By Anonymous - 16/06/2023 22:00

Today, my brother was going to get some drinks for a party we were going to. After getting the drinks, he ended up leaving me at home while he went and got drunk like never before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 110

Bitches, amirite?

By Sergeant Bri - 16/07/2023 15:00 - United States - Norwood

Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 299

YouTube family channels be like

By Anonymous - 07/11/2023 10:00

Today, I’m so hungry. My parents only get food for my sister and I’ve been surviving on cheese sticks for the past week. I only have one left. I don’t get paid until next week. I’m so scared I’m gonna faint at the wheel instead of at home, where I’m usually able to sit down and get some water before I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 137

A few hours later…

By Xandler - 18/07/2025 05:57 - United States

Today, I had a date with a woman I had been talking to for a month. We hit it off, the date went fantastic, and we agreed to see each other again. Fast forward a few hours and I'm told she decided to pursue someone else, equates it to "bad timing", but wants to be friends. If not for bad luck, I'd have no luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 153

Xandler tells us more.

Xandler 8

Thursday 17 July 2025 17:44

OP here. First published FML! Woot! Backstory for anyone who cares. We met of PoF, we talked and got to know each other, like the FML said for about a month. The date was a spur of the moment thing as she said she was interested. So, we went out, we both had a fun time. I knew she was seeing someone else (they apparently had 2 dates), and I guess he asked her that night to be exclusive. As a little sidenote, by her admission she told me her relationships with men she has been with have been toxic. It's whatever now, I wished her the best and told her I'd be around if she needed to chat.

Our little secret

By Anonymous - 16/12/2022 12:00

Spicy

Today, I found out that the “stranger” I’ve been confessing my kinky, dark, and disgusting fantasies to online is a friend from high school, who figured out it was me by the third sentence. Now I'm praying she has a heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 1 450

FML on Facebook

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The Top

The Top

Today, I accidentally shoved my finger up my cat's butt while trying to push him off my nightstand in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 624

You deserved it 1 505

Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 418

You deserved it 7 636

Today, after having lost 11 pounds following my pregnancy, I felt sexy and put on a cute outfit for my husband. When he walked into the bedroom, he ended up passing me three times, and then went to bed without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 401

You deserved it 2 931

Today, I got a tooth pulled out. I now have a hole connecting my mouth to my nose. Drinking and eating is whole new experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 103

Today, it's my breaking point. I've been in a roommate-type marriage for too long and I've finally lost the spark of hope that made me stay. It's going to be a terrible process to rebuild my life but I can't deal like this anymore. I'd rather live in the dirt than another day here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 82

Today, I'm a porn addict struggling to stay clean. My girlfriend found my recovery journal and read it, then went off screaming that I'm a sick freak. She stole my journal and has been posting pages on her Instagram and tagging me in them. Yes, the stress made me relapse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 122