Today, after I fell off of a 150-foot cliff, bruised like crazy with two skull fractures and two foot fractures, one of my closest friends brought his sick girlfriend to visit me while I’m pretty much immobile, and I tested positive for COVID. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Then my COVID test came back as positive. FML
Today, I tested positive for COVID. This wouldn’t be a big deal, except my entire family has now fallen like a stack of dominos, and despite being asymptomatic, I now have to quarantine. My work stopped doing COVID leave in November. FML
Today, I was tested positive for Covid-19, after suffering with some of the symptoms of the disease two days ago. Last week, I had to pretend I was infected with it to avoid going to a friend's party, as my ex-girlfriend would be there. Ain't life a bitch? FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, I told my “best friend” that I'd tested positive for COVID-19. She told me to “chill”. Ten years of friendship and she didn’t even ask if I was OK. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with COVID, and given a week off work to quarantine. When I sat down on the sofa, my girlfriend slapped the remote out of my hand and handed me a list of chores, "to do while you're lazing around on vacation." It's four pages long. Double sided. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell down the stairs and broke her ankle. She also had a bruise on her leg due to her friend biting her. I spent the night in the hospital to be there for her and support her, but I should have expected that the nurses would treat me like a criminal. FML
Today, I was going to hang out with my crush and tell him how I felt, but he cancelled because I had COVID 5 months ago and his mom is afraid I’m contagious. I’m safer to hang out with because I now have antibodies and can’t transmit it. I’ve also had 4 negative tests since then. FML
Today, I jokingly said to my coworker, "God, what I wouldn't do for a week off work." I was then tested positive for COVID fifteen minutes later. FML
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