Intimacy, Sex, Family and Weird: My house, my rules

My house, my rules

By lordoftheweird - 06/01/2024 06:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, I had to make a house rule for my extended family who live with me: No more incestuous sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 124

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By smh - 10/09/2015 06:09 - Canada

Today, after coming home from a long day at work, I found out that in a house full of 5 adults, some rules still need to be set. The newest addition to the rules: No watching porn and jerking off in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 759

You deserved it 2 277

Panopticon

By never marry a jealous man! - 04/05/2023 01:00 - United States

Today, I got sick of my in-laws always dropping by when my husband was out. Turns out he asked them to check I didn’t have anyone there. When I confronted him, he created a new “rule”. I can either have my mother-in-law stay full time or I can stay at their house until he gets off work. No, I’ve never cheated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 471

You deserved it 112

By FML1994 - 14/06/2009 17:20 - United States

Today, my family was discussing the new rules of the house we are moving in. They told my sister she couldn't have any boys in her room. They didn't tell me I couldn't have any girls in my room. Even my parents think I can't get a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 264

You deserved it 4 987

Great conversation starter

By balkangirl94 - 23/12/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 472

You deserved it 3 728

By helloimkylieee - 25/01/2016 01:04 - United States - Tracy

Today, I had to convince my parents to shut the door when they have sex. They have done this on multiple occasions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 763

You deserved it 1 555

By Great - 09/04/2014 01:42 - United States - Katy

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 790

You deserved it 6 265

By paintfarts1976 - 10/05/2013 19:01 - Ireland - Mullingar

Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 170

You deserved it 4 235

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 09:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I caught my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been as mortifying if they weren't doing it in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 460

You deserved it 217

Letting off steam

By Username - 31/03/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 682

You deserved it 11 188

Health kick

By Anonymous - 05/02/2022 00:01

Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 723

You deserved it 183

L0life29 6

Saturday 6 January 2024 16:01

ok….I gotta know the story!

The_Real_Cvh 10

Saturday 6 January 2024 15:33

You killjoy you!!!

Comments

The_Real_Cvh 10

Saturday 6 January 2024 15:33

You killjoy you!!!

L0life29 6

Saturday 6 January 2024 16:01

ok….I gotta know the story!

SirEnigM0nk 22

Saturday 6 January 2024 16:46

Sweet home Alabama/Lord I'm comin' home to you.

muddgirl12 2

Wednesday 10 January 2024 8:19

why does everyone think Alabama is incest? we are not.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Tuesday 23 January 2024 22:05

How's aboot "************ is supposed to be an insult, not a fact! So stop breaking the law, assholes!"?

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Work Relatable Students Noise Birds Animals Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Revenge Food Boredom

The Top

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 183

Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 747

You deserved it 3 436

Today, I received a package and excitedly tore it open. It was a specific dress I'd rush-ordered for an upcoming special event, but the company had sent me a size meant for a toddler. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 105

Today, the police called and told me that they had Alex in custody. Apparently, she had public sex with another woman and wants me to come bail her out. Alex is my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 590

You deserved it 2 687

Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 48

Today, I found out that when I was 4 I killed my bunny by drowning it. Apparently, my aunt bribed me to do it because it pooped in her shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 954

You deserved it 2 511

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 825

You deserved it 15 848