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The all-time greatest FMLs

Who talks to you like that at work?

By marie - 28/03/2021 11:02

Today, I decided to listen to some music at work, so I plugged in my headphones and turned on Spotify. Only the music decided to play out loud instead. I was called a “disrespectful little bitch who wasn’t raised right” for not using my headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 207

Make it stop

By Dr No - 08/07/2022 10:00 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, I work at a medical practice with over 30,000 Patients. Due to staff sickness and vacations, we only have 50 appointments available. I work on the phones, taking appointments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 122

Casual ableism

By CrippledFatty - 01/11/2022 06:00 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was yet again chastised for using a wheelchair, since, "Obesity isn't a disability." I'm 46 with lipedema, and lost my ability to walk 13 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 171

Godless

By fullyajar - 12/07/2021 11:01

Today, while having dinner with my girlfriend's very religious parents, her mother called me a heathen and said she'd convert me one day. She wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 137

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 25/09/2022 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, in court, I was called a "pompous little gnome" by the woman I was there suing, for destroying my front garden with weed killer. The judge agreed with her and threw the case out for lack of evidence it was actually her that destroyed my garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 189

Inevitable

By Take me back - 31/01/2023 04:30

Today, my 71-year-old grandmother survived cancer for the fourth time. I'm grateful, but at the same time I find myself feeling sad that she will soon be gone. She has COPD and constantly mentions that she is going to die soon. I wish I could build a time machine and go back to before she became terminally ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 117

Thanks, great feedback everyone!

By Anonymous - 27/01/2021 23:01

Today, after years of not meeting my partner's family, along with the new arrival of our daughter, we decided to travel to meet them all and introduce our bundle of joy. Instead of the usual welcoming committee, all they could go on about was whether or not my daughter was his because of how fair toned she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 151

So close

By Anonymous - 20/07/2022 06:00

Today, not only did my ex-wife take everything in our divorce, my most recent lottery ticket was off by only one number, I would have won millions and she wouldn’t have been entitled to a penny. Oh well, back to sleeping in my caravan, which is all I have left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 162

Dahmer in the making

By Anonymous - 19/10/2022 14:00

Today, my son asked me, "If it’s so easy to tear meats like raw chicken breast and beef steak apart with your hands, doesn’t that mean it’s just as easy to tear human flesh apart, even if they’re still alive?" This right here is why I send him to therapy twice a week, but it’s not working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 162

Hangry boi

By Anonymous - 11/04/2022 14:00

Today, thanks to my wife’s obsession with expensive foods like chutney, relishes, exotic spices, and preserved foreign vegetables and herbs, I'm literally staring into a fridge full of glass jars, with a door that barely stays closed, and yet has nothing inside suitable to eat for my dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 227

Official notice

By Anonymous - 01/07/2021 08:01

Today, my daughter wrote a statement refusing to have to look after her brother in the event me and my husband die, then had it made into a legal document by a notary. I love my boy, but he's dumb as a rock and will probably be a lifelong burden to us, so I don’t even blame her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 297

LET ME SLEEP

By Goth - 07/12/2021 19:59 - Sweden

Today, I reached a total of three doctors, one therapist, one psychiatrist, and five prescribed medications, all because my body refuses to let me sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 115

Communication Breakdown

By Anonymous - 18/04/2021 17:00

Today, I just called my now ex-girlfriend to break up with her, due to our insurmountable lack of communication, even though I was in therapy for four months to try and keep the relationship afloat. Before breaking up, she'd blocked me on Facebook, Whatsapp, Twitter and Instagram for no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 189

Narcolepsy

By Isuckreallybad - 06/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 451

Food for thought

By snowiewind - 01/10/2022 03:59 - Japan - Osaka

Today, I had a bacterial infection in my intestines. Doctors suggested I wash my intestines, but apparently forgot to tell me I couldn't eat before the procedure. I don't know what's worse, the fact that the whole room right now smells like rancid fried chicken, or the fact that the doctors were just talking about going to Popeyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 263

Out in the sticks

By Anonymous - 25/07/2022 18:00 - France

Today, after years of restless sleep in a noisy city, I finally moved to a very quiet place. So quiet that I realized I have tinnitus. I need to play background noise to cover it, so I can manage to get some sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 113

He's a keeper

By Anonymous - 07/12/2022 00:00

Today, I met my ex, who told me he had something very important to tell me. I thought he was about to tell me that his girlfriend is pregnant (a fact I already knew). He told me that he still loves me and he'd never stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 140

Life's a beach

By Anonymous - 22/04/2022 12:00

Today, I finally beat depression by going for a walk on the beach. I couldn't contain myself and happily played in waist-deep water as I walked. I realized my keys for my car, mail, house, and work had fallen out of my pockets and into the ocean, never to be seen again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 523

Gaslighting

By Anonymous - 04/12/2022 14:00 - Australia

Today, I'm not going to our family Christmas party due to events last year that caused me to cut off contact with one of my sisters. My entire family is now making me out to be the villain to my 8 year-old, and trying to manipulate my decision with guilt trips. They have reduced me to tears 12 days in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 153

Take your medication

By my brain sucks! - 10/03/2022 22:00

Today, I’ve been getting my ass handed to me by my anxiety for nearly a year. I talked to my doctor about starting meds. I got so terrified of the possible side effects that I not only had an anxiety attack, I also had a panic attack. I still couldn’t bring myself to take the pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 259

Different roads

By sabrina k - 29/01/2022 23:01

Today, the professionally-installed sex swing ceiling mount my husband insisted on, but never lasted long enough to make use of, was converted into a baby suspension swing for our toddler. He was right about it, but I still can’t admit it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 336

Bad vibes

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 16:00

Today, a guy I went on a few dates with and was looking forward to seeing again this Wednesday told me he is not sure he sees this going anywhere. This always happens and I have no idea what I am doing wrong. I have lost hope in finding a boyfriend ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 194

Timing is everything

By unluckypanda - 04/07/2021 04:04 - United States - Makawao

Today, I had a photoshoot planned weeks ago, getting one of the last coveted spots. My boyfriend couldn’t even show up on time. It was a sunrise shoot. We arrived once the sun had been up for 25 mins already. He wondered "what the big deal is?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 219

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 303

Upper middle class issues

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 02:00

Today, I was delivering the HiLux my dad bought for my brother's birthday. At a red light, my bitter ex-girlfriend saw me and threw a roadworks sign at me, breaking the driver's side window. My brother insists I probably did it myself out of jealousy, so our dad is making me pay for the repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 156

Are you sure?

By Anonymous - 15/04/2021 17:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I sent a picture of my two little nephews to my friends, who now keep telling me how my older nephew looks exactly like me. They’re starting to make awkward statements such as, “Are you sure you didn’t have sex with your sister in-law?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 118

Happy Birthday

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 08:01 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, it's my birthday. My boss's birthday is 5 days away. Instead of wishing me happy birthday, the staff decided to surprise my boss with an early gift. We also had to take a picture of him with everyone. I work at another branch alone, and had to post the picture to social media. Happy Birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 114

Kids can be a dealbreaker

By Anonymous - 18/03/2022 12:00

Today, the new guy at work who’s been flirting with me outrageously found out I’m newly-divorced, with a baby daughter. He ghosted me so fast and started outrageously flirting with someone else in our office, who by the way he checked to make sure she doesn’t have kids first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 354

Good boy

By Anonymous - 06/04/2021 11:00 - Germany - Papenburg

Today, I realized my boyfriend rather qualifies as a pet: He loves eating, he hardly ever talks or listens, but he is cuddly, always enjoys having me around and can – within limits - be trained to do useful things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 293

Excuses, excuses

By TJ. - 17/10/2022 10:00

Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend. Why? She had been praying and came to the conclusion that God was telling her to leave so she could meet her soulmate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 135

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The Top

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 364

You deserved it 54 916

Today, my favorite song came on and I started playing air guitar and headbanging to it. I didn't realize just how close I was to the chair next to me and went face first into the metal back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 316

You deserved it 37 465

Today, I'm sick of watching my friend's dog while she is on vacation. In four days, the dog has shredded my mattress, peed on my couches, chewed my kitchen chairs, and attacked my dog while she slept. My friend won't answer her phone, but she does update Facebook non-stop. Ten days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 181

You deserved it 714

Today, I called a locksmith to unlock my car. He got it unlocked, but broke the handle so the door wouldn’t open. We had to break a window to get in. He still charged me his usual fee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 866

You deserved it 336

Today, I found out that my ex let my son eat nothing but cereal and milk for every single meal during his five-day visit. Now my son shrieks, cries, and has a meltdown if I try to make him eat real food. My ex merely replied, "Your problem now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 081

You deserved it 454

Today, I was told that my laugh sounds like Krusty the Clown. It really does. Now I can't unhear it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 155