Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Keep going!

Keep going!

By Taraa3 - 10/10/2009 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

agreeclassic 25 357

vote type 1 5 076

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That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

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Heat of the moment

By English_Nut117 - 30/10/2013 19:17 - Canada - Georgetown

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

agreeclassic 48 700

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Enjoy the show

By Anonymous - 30/09/2023 08:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having early morning sex and I was getting pretty loud. Suddenly, I got a text from Amazon saying my overnight package had just been delivered. You have to walk by my room to get to the front door, and my window was wide open. The text came with a grinning emoji. FML

agreeclassic 421

vote type 1 488

By annoyedgf - 11/07/2015 12:44

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at a large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML

agreeclassic 24 016

vote type 1 3 376

By Eet- - 13/10/2011 19:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

agreeclassic 36 220

vote type 1 4 269

Surprise indeed

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 14:24 - Netherlands

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

agreeclassic 45 322

vote type 1 3 736

Freak out

By Brave - 06/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her apartment early. I climbed through her bedroom window, holding flowers. I got the wrong window. Some old man screamed, hit me with a broom, and called the cops. FML

agreeclassic 105

vote type 1 842

By breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

agreeclassic 27 687

vote type 1 69 997

Make your mind up!

By nextcontestant16 - 19/11/2012 15:12 - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

agreeclassic 41 665

vote type 1 5 143

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 05:52 - United States

Today, after work, I came home to my boyfriend sleeping on the couch. Feeling romantic, I started to undo his pants. My reward was him waking up and kneeing me in the eye. FML

agreeclassic 16 869

vote type 1 27 930

insertfmlhere 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 16:09

Maybe he'll come inside and wash your bed after you finish, except that could be a bad bed cleaner...

misspeg 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 16:32

hmm not really a fml. I think the window cleaner was actually being quite polite b4 it got any further!

Comments

insertfmlhere 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 16:09

Maybe he'll come inside and wash your bed after you finish, except that could be a bad bed cleaner...

B4SK3TB4IL 0

Thursday 9 September 2010 4:55

FAKE

zelhackin 0

Sunday 29 May 2011 8:54

What an moron he had a free show and he ruined it

sneek_fml 1

Friday 22 July 2011 10:18

how much u wana bet he had his pants down some people are like that

possesed0ne 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 16:16

first!

life_sucks_bad 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 18:56

fail

deference 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 10:57

epic?

stupiddumbblonde 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 16:16

third. OP that sucks...you should preform in front of an audience?

possesed0ne 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 16:17

second too!!!

Kingfmltrust 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 16:23

wow

possesed0ne 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 16:25

in soviet Russia, window clean YOU!

kkns 2

Thursday 7 April 2011 2:41

hahaha

Basiil 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 16:29

lol. he is obviously a person who did have sex before. oh wait ;x

misspeg 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 16:32

hmm not really a fml. I think the window cleaner was actually being quite polite b4 it got any further!

kukopia 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:23

Agreed

katrinaa_13 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 17:09

ROFLL, ooh sucks to be you. (N)

michaelcarell 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 17:40

Threesome!

sneek_fml 1

Friday 22 July 2011 10:20

hell ya!!

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Keywords

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Today, I discovered that my new landlords must meet and approve guests of mine before they come over, and guests are not allowed when they aren't home or past 11pm. I'm 25 years old and just moved out of my parents' home to get away from my controlling mother. FML

agreeclassic 32 176

vote type 1 4 119

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

agreeclassic 34 503

vote type 1 2 323

Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML

agreeclassic 33 435

vote type 1 2 807

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

agreeclassic 67 880

vote type 1 2 930

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

agreeclassic 56 347

vote type 1 4 653

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

agreeclassic 14 166

vote type 1 31 456

Keep going!

Similar FMLs

That was quick

Heat of the moment

Enjoy the show

Surprise indeed

Freak out

Make your mind up!

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