App

FMyLife

search






FMyLife FMyLife
search
​



    : 320



    Sneaky

    Loser - 08/12/2021 10:58

    Today, I found out why my husband faked being sick on Thanksgiving. He was invited to Thanksgiving dinner by to the coworker he’s seeing. She was planning to introduce him to her family. He never told her he was married, so knowing I would tag along if he came, he faked having a “fever” so he couldn’t go out. FML
    1 655
    131
      

    Keep your distance

    Anonymous - 12/04/2020 08:00

    Today, my roommate told me she had developed a rash on her armpits, which causes them to be itchy. The doctor told her the only way to heal it is to not wear deodorant for a month. FML
    1 655
    180
      

    Back in the red

    Brandon Lafantaisie - 03/05/2020 14:00

    Today, I sneezed and pulled every muscle in my lower back. For the third time in two years, after $3000+ in physiotherapy. Round 3, here we come. FML
    1 655
    249
      

    The serpentine movement of life

    mountainmetal983 - 05/03/2020 18:00

    Today, the serpentine belt broke on my truck a mile away from work, 30 minutes before I needed to be there. This caused me to be 45 minutes late. I got written up for being late. The tow truck then took my truck to the wrong mechanic shop. Now I have to pay another tow truck bill to get it to the right shop. FML
    1 654
    137
      

    Anonymous - 14/05/2019 04:00

    Today, I had to use anti-perspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML
    1 654
    318
      

    Condom advertisement

    Willow McGarrigle - 30/05/2020 02:00

    Today, my ex messaged me, saying he got his new girlfriend pregnant and that he thinks I have something to do with it. He thinks I put it in her head that they should have a kid together, when he says he didn't want any in the first place. FML
    1 654
    153
      

    Bye Bye

    Anonymous - 29/12/2021 19:01 - United Kingdom - South Shields

    Today, it was my two-week anniversary of starting my new job, after over a year of unemployment due to Covid. It was great, I was getting on with people, and it actually felt like a career where my skillset was valued and I was appreciated by the management. I showed up to work this morning to find it had burned down. FML
    1 654
    127
      

    - 16/04/2019 20:00

    Today, I realized how exhausted I was when I mixed up my eye makeup remover with toner. My eye still burns. FML
    1 653
    394
      

    Anonymous - 24/06/2019 12:00

    Today, I needed to get blood drawn. Apparently, my veins are too thin and no blood would flow into the tube. I'm afraid of needles, and was just poked with some unsuccessfully, and I have to go back next week to try again. FML
    1 653
    176
      

    Keep it down!

    LonelyStudent - 02/09/2019 19:00 - United States - Chicago

    Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML
    1 653
    181
      

    Great gift idea!

    Anonymous - 15/09/2020 08:02 - New Zealand

    Today, it was my birthday and my first present was finding out that my girlfriend of five years has been cheating on me. FML
    1 653
    121
      

    Spooky

    Anonymous - 25/04/2021 20:04

    Today. my nana got a text from my dead grandad's phone number. His phone was stolen about 3 weeks before he died, but the shock of suddenly getting a text from him after the funeral gave her a heart attack. The doctor says with her other health issues, she might not make it through the night. FML
    1 652
    63
      

    Live chat

    Anonymous - 19/12/2019 01:00 - Ukraine - Kiev

    Today, I found my best friend's girlfriend on a webcam site. I then told him, and his only response was, "Yeah, I know, that's where we met." FML
    1 652
    608
      

    notcountry! - 27/06/2019 02:30

    Today, even though my mom’s only ever been to the south once, she’s completely obsessed with talking with a bad, overly exaggerated southern accent. Not to mention constantly prattling off random nonsensical country phrases. We’re from and still live in California, nowhere near any country. FML
    1 652
    177
      

    Anonymous - 21/06/2019 04:30

    Today, I sparkled because of this glitter bar my mother got me from Lush. I didn't realize until after I got out of the shower that it wasn't just ordinary soap. I tried to wipe off the glitter. It wouldn't come off. FML
    1 652
    285
      

    Going well, isn't it

    theproblemboblem - 29/04/2021 14:00

    Today, after weeks of begging my boyfriend of almost two years to have sex with me, he told me to find someone else to fuck. FML
    1 652
    310
      

    Can't win

    confused - 12/06/2020 02:06

    Today, I was told by my wife that she was moving in with her mother, because I was causing her to have panic attacks. She said she still loves me and wants to be with me, but she needs a few months to herself. I have given her her way for most of our marriage. FML
    1 652
    329
      

    brokebitch - 09/05/2019 06:00

    Today, being a broke college student struggling to make ends meet, I decided to sign up for a sugar daddy website. The first person to message me was my high school history teacher. FML
    1 651
    1 318
      

    When feral kids attack

    GracieGirl - 04/10/2019 06:00

    Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML
    1 651
    115
      

    Due diligence

    whoops! - 20/02/2022 06:01

    Today, I was doing a family genealogy project. I accidentally discovered that my grandfather couldn't possibly be my mom’s biological father. When I started asking questions, my mom flipped shit, confronted her mom, and the whole mess came out. Now everyone is pissed at me. FML
    1 651
    232
      

    It's the Final Countdown

    Mightytall - 11/09/2019 00:01

    Today, I had a very long wait at the doctor's. The three plastic plants in the waiting area have 163 leaves each, the patient information poster on the wall has 127 words, the longest word has 19 letters. FML
    1 650
    174
      

    Unloved

    dan - 13/08/2020 17:01

    Today, I found out that all of the times my mom told me that she was busy out of town wasn’t due to work, it was that she was going on vacations with her boyfriend and his kids. FML
    1 650
    130
      

    Romance is dead

    Anonymous - 20/01/2023 10:00 - Australia - Peakhurst

    Today, on my 11-year anniversary with my wife, I bought her a nice necklace and we went to an Indian restaurant where we had the most sensational banquet meal. When we got home, I suggested we made love, to which she replied, "I don't like you enough to do that." FML
    1 650
    242
      

    Whine dad

    Anonymous - 09/01/2022 16:59

    Today, whenever I leave my husband alone with the kids, he still refers to it as "babysitting", especially when he’s complaining about it to his brothers as the reason he never has fun anymore. I always assumed dads were parents too, not unpaid babysitters who get to whine about it. FML
    1 650
    261
      

    ahhhhhhh - 30/07/2019 14:00

    Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
    1 650
    637
      

    Halved

    Anonymous - 04/09/2019 14:00

    Today, I went to the hair salon to get a fresh trim before receiving my master's diploma. The hairdresser managed to shave off half my eyebrow. FML
    1 650
    121
      

    Bird's eye view

    Anonymous - 13/05/2020 17:00

    Today, I found out that my shower area is in direct view from my neighbours' balcony. I realised this when I caught my neighbour and his wife watching me while I was getting dressed. I've been living here for 7 years. FML
    1 650
    552
      

    Smuckling twat

    Depressed - 13/05/2022 22:00

    Today, my boyfriend is leaving me for his pregnant side chick, all because I “deprived” him of sex after suffering a miscarriage. To top it all off, the smug bastard actually told me, “Don’t worry, you’ll find happiness again someday, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Seriously dude? FML
    1 649
    236
      

    Time for some DIY

    Anonymous - 20/05/2022 22:00

    Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML
    1 649
    384
      

    Cursed lake

    TabbyCat87 - 18/10/2019 16:00

    Today, our boat broke down in the middle of a lake at sunset. We called our friend for help, and his truck and trailer got stuck in mud at the boat ramp. We called the sheriff's office to tow his vehicle out of the mud. The tow strap broke. FML
    1 649
    159
      
    • 1414
    • 1415
    • 1416
    • 1417
    • 1418
    • 1419
    • 1420
    • 1421
    • 1422
    • 1423

    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my college is so intent on teaching us teamwork that we hardly ever get to do any assignment by ourselves. Even if we could do it better alone. Even if we spend half our time trying to find a slot where all the team members are free to meet. And of course it’s a different team for each task. FML
    901
    101
    Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML
    35 865
    5 755
    Today, honestly, I feel like my life has lost meaning. At some certain point I have lost all emotion and am just covering myself with a mask of happiness. It feels like I’m just trying to escape my own reality, with my parents on the verge of divorce. Somewhere in the last few months it’s been getting worse. FML
    551
    145
    Today, it's my birthday. My friends don't believe me since they "didn't get a Facebook notification." FML
    4 764
    423
    Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML
    36 618
    5 836
    Today, I wanted to surprise my girlfriend by cleaning the entire house while she was at work. I even lit incense to make it extra special. When she came home, she walked in, sniffed, and immediately accused me of "cheating or something" because "only guilt makes you clean this much." She also blamed me for adding more dust by burning incense. FML
    597
    97

    © VDM SAS,

    ​