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OP here, set things straight, our Realtor told us they had SMALL dogs, these are not little animals as she claimed them to be. Yes we do have a fence, I would not have taken it lightly if the dogs were in our yard scaring them. My kids are 2 & 1 so the loud barking and jumping on the fence does scare them. I do plan on talking to the neighbor but my 1 year old is scared of dogs period so introducing them will not help. I plan on talking to the neighbors and seeing if maybe an hour or so a day when my kids go outside if they can bring the dogs in. I hope a compromise can be made..

TMI

By PatientInWaiting - 19/03/2012 10:37 - United States

Today, I had a conversation with another patient in my gyno's waiting room. It was about her getting pregnant in a truck while passed out drunk, her therapist's frequent use of a "For Dummies" books, and how she had waxed and oiled everything to impress our doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 252

You deserved it 2 495

There was an attempt

By Anonymous - 25/02/2013 05:44 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact that both of my roommates are aware of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 600

You deserved it 3 754

By Unemployed - 21/09/2009 17:08 - United States

Today, my grandma picked up the phone. It was a man asking to speak to me. Instead of giving me the phone she decides to hang up on him, thinking it was some guy trying to "get with me." It turned out to be the call I've been waiting all week for... a call from a huge company about a job offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 777

You deserved it 2 753

Egg mode?

By Juan Venada - 10/08/2022 02:00 - Mexico - Ciudad De México

Today, I'm a 35 year-old man, and I'm moving in with my girlfriend soon. I have two options, get rid of all my lingerie, or tell her I love to wear it underneath my regular clothes, garter, and stockings included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 1 178

Rulers of the world

By Anonymous - 10/06/2021 18:01 - Germany

Today, my mom insists on leaving both the front and kitchen door open in case the cat comes home, no matter if it gets cold inside. Yes, the cat is that important. Yes, he also has a cat flap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 99

Gamers be normal challenge

By Anonymous - 07/12/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, some rando guy from a chat room asked me if I played Smash Bros or Mario Kart and I was like, "FUCK YEAH I play." Then they said, “Add me on Discord and Nintendo!” and I replied, “You bet.” He didn’t want to play Smash Bros, he just wanted the "smash." I ended up having to block him and disinfect my headset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 183

By Alissa - 29/06/2010 04:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, and then asked if I'd give him head one last time before he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 889

You deserved it 6 928

Classy

By Anonymous - 22/10/2019 22:00 - France

Today, I've got two family members over to stay. So far, I have found a dirty Q-Tip, a nasty toe nail and had to clean up period blood from toilets, bin, and the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 158

Oh no, not you

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 00:01

Today, I had no idea my dad and my fiancé's dad are old enemies, until we brought our families together for the first time since we met and COVID rules were relaxed. Long story short, there was a brawl, lots of drinking, a destroyed back garden and we’re not engaged anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 100

Confusing

By so confused - 09/12/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 252

By its ok to cheat!? - 20/02/2013 21:52 - United States - Brisbane

Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 793

You deserved it 15 774

By Anonymous - 14/03/2012 07:33 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for drunk driving. This is the second time its happened. I was completely sober both times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 446

You deserved it 16 536

Dane Cook? Is that you?

By ShardsOfShame - 26/08/2022 16:00 - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother why his relationship with a just-turned 18 year-old would be inappropriate. According to him, they’ve been “dating” for two years now but “haven’t had sex or anything.” He’s 39. He got mad at me for calling him a pedophile and smashed my glass table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 616

You deserved it 273

Functional

By Anonymous - 15/12/2023 06:00

Today, I knew my son was obsessed with Anime, which is fine because he has a job, and seems like a functional human being, but this afternoon he sent out invites to all our relatives to a virtual reality wedding, where he will marry some sort of nonexistent cartoon girl called "Wife Fu." FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 169

By daninalani - 11/03/2012 22:37 - United States

Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 363

You deserved it 3 276

daninalani tells us more.

daninalani 5

Monday 12 March 2012 2:08

FML bc i spent all morning trying to tell her about how big the universe was. she just got angry.

By scalmon - 13/05/2011 17:08 - United States

Today, while making love to my wife, I let slip her sister's name. I don't think it would calm her down much if I told the truth: I was actually thinking of an ex girlfriend who shares the same name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 378

You deserved it 67 598

By Masey - 17/09/2009 12:46 - United States

Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 416

You deserved it 7 517

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865 819

You deserved it 95 127

Today, my coworker and I got caught having sex in the break-room. It was 6 p.m. and there was only him and me from our department in the office. Apparently, this bitch from another department in another fucking building decided it was the perfect time to make microwave popcorn, and our break-room was the perfect place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 1 088

Random

Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I moved out a few years ago, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 736

You deserved it 4 509

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 299

You deserved it 3 695

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 213

You deserved it 9 593

Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 716

You deserved it 4 363

Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 515

You deserved it 317

Today, after I spent months assisting my 'work bestie' with planning/arranging her "Surprise!" wedding, Surprise! I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 65