By diggingaplotforone - United States - Redlands
Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML
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Well I sort of assumed that the neighbor would call the police stating that OP is digging up school children he murdered a year ago (for some unbeknownst reason)

And that his only proof is a confession (one where the sarcasm is misunderstood).

I guess I just assumed he was an idiot. But you're right he could have just said he suspected a murder.

  GirlYouNasty  |  11

124- No problem dude. I understand where you're coming from with that.

Just for future reference, a confession from the murderer is all the proof the cops need to make an arrest. Just letting you know.

By  PaulB123  |  11

Homer Simpson?

By  jetsown08  |  21

But, I actually DID bury little school children there... what if the police find them? Shit, I gotta run!

By  HairyPunisher  |  27

Why were you digging in the yard?

  HairyPunisher  |  27

181, I figured the name was just a pun not so much an insight into the reason he was in the yard. And I had a legit question. He clearly wasn't gardening if it was enough for the neighbors to get all nosey.

  Awahso  |  25

Two wrongs don't make a right.

  geko911  |  22

Actually, it's hard to burn a body and acid is too slow. I prefer to pour a sack full of flesh eating beetles on the bodys and when only bones remain, I crush them and use it as fertilizer. That way the poor kids get a second life!

  legitkitty  |  11

6 - I could never do something like that for the guilt and fear of getting caught. Yes, indeed I am a "pussy". Have you checked my profile picture?

By  stephhrunsaway  |  21

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

  jetsown08  |  21

Hey, I've seen worse. Like a nether portal opening in my backyard releasing archaic demons into the world. But you don't see me snitching to the 5-0, do you?


That same thing happened to me, except instead of school kids, they were sheep, and instead of cops they were the board of judges from American Idol.

  jetsown08  |  21

So let me try to make sense of this... you were burying sheep in your lawn, while American Idol judges watched you? I'm not even going to try to go any further... *facedesk*

  gracehi  |  31

I think he was trying to make a joke that only sheep watch American Idol, and so the American Idol judges came to protect their sheep viewers. Sorry, man. I don't think comedy is your strength.