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It was an 'Oh Jesus.. Ive had you between my legs and now you're the decider on whether or not I actually get to make money off of my brand new nursing degree' moment. :-D

Trickster

By OFukd - 03/12/2022 14:00 - United States

Today, my after-school community center received a complaint from an upset parent and they’re threatening to “sue” for traumatizing their child. Apparently, someone replaced all the books in the Little Free Library with the Kama Sutra and pornography books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 176

By Tyler - 03/08/2009 18:48 - United States

Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 081

You deserved it 3 273

By Thomas - 11/11/2013 17:20 - United States - Portsmouth

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 443

You deserved it 7 605

The moment after

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 11:33 - Australia

Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 038

You deserved it 57 647

Flasher

By barebackingit - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Kanata

Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 103

You deserved it 12 045

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 846

You deserved it 4 728

By agnosticstudy - 14/01/2009 16:03 - United States

Today, I met a woman that I've been emailing and trading pics with for over a month. We had a face to face, she was surprisingly overweight, and the sun hit her face in a way that radiated all her facial hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 330

You deserved it 28 901

By ninjakomodo - 13/11/2012 21:16 - United States

Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 198

You deserved it 2 756

ninjakomodo tells us more.

ninjakomodo 3

Monday 19 November 2012 6:49

OP here, just for all of the people talking about self plagiarism, I checked. My university does not have that clause anywhere within the rules. I read through the entire thing and even checked with the legal department. I'm sure they will put it in after this. I have gone to the dean and they have forced the teacher to drop the case and give me the grade I deserved. They also decided, due to suggestion of the department head, that the department head himself will be grading everything that I submit to that teacher for the rest of the semester, and that I will not be able to take classes with that teacher anymore. I'm sure they will be evaluating their plagiarism rules more, and putting in a clause for self plagiarism, but we will see what happens. Luckily, I only have 2 more semesters there before I'm out of that school for good.

By Me - 11/11/2012 00:29 - United States

Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 312

You deserved it 1 668