Double dump

By dumped - 10/03/2011 21:42 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 529
You deserved it 4 028

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Gurljuice 0
sassypants93 17

That sounds like she got a big dumping in more ways than one.

Comments

whoisthisgirl 4
persianjr1 7

He got dumped. Literally!!!!

i would have ran to the baffroom and started taking a poo

I would say she was most likely having sex with another person, probably a guy, while she was on the phone breaking up with you. as this would explain the grunting and maybe splashing. unless she was moving a bathtub full of water. could go either way...

dmars she was taking a dump. grunting and straining and then he heard the shit splash into the toilet bowl.

rallets 22

"baffroom"? this FML sounds kinda shitty though. i dont think i can take much more of this crap. its a load of bullshit.

she sure as hell DUMPED u all right, teehee a poop joke.

Op, was your ex a Chris Brown fan? She must be since she gave you the deuces!

that's disgusting! clearly she has no class at all. you're well rid of her.

BigHoshJosh 0

if she dumped you like that you must have acted like "shit". I bet you now feel like crap. O!

lilash1 0

well at least you know why she dumped you

lilash1 0

oops didn't mean to post tht comment

sassypants93 17

That sounds like she got a big dumping in more ways than one.

Rawket_Lawnchair 0

Hai guise! This is my telescope/camera shit and I'm a ******!

Rabbitt78660 0

NO...EPIC FAIL. : l [dry stare] blink..blink..

lazerdude07 0

Oh I get it.... DUMP-ed!! haha, good one

mr_miyagi 0

yea sounds like op had a phony relationship with a shitty girlfriend

Caulfim, if you're going to be a dick, English has a capital "E".

WOW_BS 0

Cole, if your gonna be a douche and correct him...well you can just go smd.

mintcar 9

^If you're going to comment, then you should probably understand the difference between " your" (possessive) and "you're" (contraction). ---------------------------- Meaned? HAHAHAHA. Only on FML will you see something like this.

meowmeowwkitty 0

no. get over it. your-you're it's just a website! jeesh, we all get that

MrLaryRottweila 1

-at 127- the Grammar Nazis and Spelling Spetsnaz are pleased with your comments.

183 -- i think that the grammar nazis should take on a new moniker -- the grammar gru. that way, it is in keeping with the alliterative theme -- ya know, grammar gru, spelling spetsnaz, syntax syndicate, etc. |the kid|

Rabbitt78660 0

you do realize that metaphorically, u were that dump...that she strained, crapped out and flushed?! dude, she ate fiber the night b4 and set this all up! Ur Special!

186 is a win!! nobody got that but me I think.. :( now I feel like a nerd.

172. You are a douche. Your mistake was preventible, and you sound like even more of a douche because you had to make up an excuse. Don't blame technology for your inability. Have you not heard the term "A bad tradesman blames his tools"

173, the preventable mistake was not the reason you are a dick. Completely uncorrelated. Js.

cheeksMcgeeks 3

I'm calling bullshit on this one. Everyone knows girls don't poop.

cheeksMcgeeks 3

My jokes are always funny. Always. Even when they are moderated.

Sorry cheeksMcgeeks; men must never know the truth.

rallets 22

damn i missed that.. everything good is always moderated

Sirin, parle-vous Francais? Just a quick off-topic question. I want to move to France and wonder how is it there if you don't mind answering. Merci beaucoup. :)

rld916 0

so she cheated on u and broke up with u at the same time...suckz

persianjr1 7

sorry didn't mean to post that*

Did it seem like a good idea at the time or something? How do you accidentally post a coherent comment?

spetchi 0

She was cheating with her poop?

FriskyCoconut 0

cheating? she was takin a dump

this person thought the girl was having sex. cause of the grunting and straining sounds..

Lufferkinz 0

"Oh... oh, yeah... OH! UGH! AH! SHIIIIT! Shit, shit, shit... ah, yeah.. ah..."

meowmeowwkitty 0

how do we know she wasn't in the bathtub banging some other guy?? hmm....?

meowmeowwkitty 0

OH! THANK YOU 114! so missed that, but yes! my thoughts too

ILoveYourDespair 0

I'm pretty sure she was crapping.