Imagine youre harry potter and it will all be okay

Seems like you need to get out of that closet op

It's okay, OP, soon you will be accepted into Hogwarts and will leave this muggle company behind

The OP out of luck if he's over eleven.

Sorry, OP, but you're just a regular nonmagical bloke. It's okay to cry now.

Actually, if OP was born between 1970 and 1981 when Lord Voldemort destroyed records for muggle-borns, then there is a chance he never got his acceptance letter at 11.

So when are you coming out of the closet?

You should start questioning your sexuality; it's not often life presents us with the opportunity to literalize metaphors.

I guess it could be worse. You could be technically fired without being told, moved to the basement, given a couple cans of bug spray, and have your stapler stolen.

Just don't burn down the building, ok?

Stapler stolen?
Wow, that escalated quickly!

I had a job in which I had an "office" in the closet, we called it the "cloffice"

Reminds me of Ryan from The Office when Jim moved his desk into a closet and he basically stayed there for the rest of the show

Did they take your stapler too?

Sounds like a cozy little space.