The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Spoiler alert

By thanks a lot! - 17/07/2022 19:00 - United States

Today, I introduced my friend to a show I really like. I told her that I’m only halfway through the second season, but she should check it out. Since she’s on leave from work, she decided to binge watch every available episode, then text me multiple spoilers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 224

Thank you for your service

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because I'm in the military and I'm gone too much. The reason I enlisted in the first place is because we agreed that the money and benefits I would earn would help us be able to start a family in the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 370

You deserved it 4 067

By travelsickness - 10/08/2010 13:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to endure a long drive from Poland to England. We weren't allowed to open our windows. My mum threw up. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 527

You deserved it 3 368

Sorry for your loss

By TooReal - 25/04/2025 06:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, my mother messaged me via Facebook me to say that my father had died. They knew since the start of the year but didn't bother to tell me. I live 10 minutes from the hospital he was in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 100

By nobrows - 06/04/2012 17:11 - United States - Malvern

Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 973

You deserved it 6 398

By cheersdaddy - 08/06/2011 14:51 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad was given 2 VIP tickets to see my favourite band in concert next week. You can now find them on eBay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 684

You deserved it 4 253

Policy of truth

By Anonymous - 29/04/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home to my daughter in tears because her dad decided 5 was the ideal age to tell her the chicken, bacon, and mince she eats every day comes from dead chickens, piggies, and moo cows. I now have a vegetarian 5 year-old and I’m seriously worried about malnutrition and stunted growth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 171

8 out of 10 orthopedists

By Anonymous - 15/05/2021 14:01 - Germany

Today, I had a talk with my orthopedist about getting back to fitness training. However, according to her, all my favorite exercises, although taught to me by professionals, are "things one should never do" and "very very bad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 143

Cat fight

By Mishka - 03/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, we got a new kitten, and my older cat is not happy. I just learned that my fiance doesn't interfere when they fight. He says watching my old fat cat chase the kitten is the funniest thing he's seen all month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 438

Shorty-Greasy Spot-Spot

By GreaseNose - 25/09/2019 14:00

Today, while studying with the girl I like, I rested my face on my book, pretending to be frustrated. When I lifted my head, I realized I'd left a greasy spot on the page from my nose. She noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 293

You deserved it 589

Judgement Day

By Anonymous - 06/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I was walking through the grocery store with my new baby daughter, when an old woman came up to me and spat, "If you whores would keep your legs together, you wouldn't be a mom at fifteen." I'm eighteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 518

Not loving it

By jen - 14/03/2013 10:52 - United States

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 165

You deserved it 39 606

Burn baby burn

By Anonymous - 31/07/2022 06:00

Today, I was on the road, driving home. Before I'd headed out, I'd scored six amazing large house plants for free. My kids picked them up for me, and delivered them to my dining room. My husband put them out on the patio for me, in the sun, and burned them. Bye bye $100+ in free plants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 210

Drunk MC

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 14:03 - Sweden - Sundbyberg

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 509

You deserved it 3 039

You seem delighted

By Anonymous - 16/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mom walked into my room without knocking to have a whole conversation about some distant relative's birthday in 3 months time. The whole time I had my bullet vibe still up inside me, so I had to talk to my mom while trying not to react to having an orgasm in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 147

By Nogood - 10/03/2013 09:09 - Australia - Wahroonga

Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 184

You deserved it 3 019

By LiveGuard - 28/03/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 868

You deserved it 22 337

With friends like her, who needs money?

By Anonymous - 05/10/2019 22:01

Today, I maxed out my credit card trying to help a friend of over 19 years to go see her family for Christmas, only to find out she changed her mind and doesn’t really want to go. I can’t return the bus tickets, and she’s mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 382

CPTSD

By Made to be miserable - 06/08/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, I realized my parents are pretty much single-handedly responsible for all of the mental illnesses and personality disorders I have now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 277

Too good to be perfect

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I thought I'd found the perfect parking spot at work for once. Turns out, it was actually perfect for the parade that was scheduled for later in the day. My car got towed to make way for marching bands and floats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 396

Never engage with crazy

By Anonymous - 18/05/2025 15:00 - China

Today, I encountered a madman who threw a bottle at me and hurt me. In a fit of rage, I beat him up, and as a result I was taken to the police station, and ordered to pay compensation for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 352

By In urgent need of a new roommate - 26/03/2014 23:44 - United States - West Linn

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 574

You deserved it 3 369

By bored2death - 23/07/2010 22:15 - United States

Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 265

You deserved it 6 223

Such a rush

By Anonymous - 20/05/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Loughborough

Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 458

Alexa, play "Mind Games" by John Lennon

By Sleepy - 22/11/2023 07:30 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up to the realization that I had slept through my alarm, missed a crucial work meeting, and dreamt that I was the CEO of a company that manufactured alarm clocks. I now fear that my subconscious is mocking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 156

Hotly debated topic

By Office Space 2025 - 23/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, my coworker and I debated whether 100 average dudes could take down one gorilla. He said, "Only if 30 of us are willing to die." I disagreed, so we started working it out, using a whiteboard to do the math… which we forgot to wipe before the next meeting. HR now has us on a watchlist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 495

Jaded

By Anonymous - 26/05/2025 23:00

Today, after my son got his first girlfriend at 19, a nice girl as well, he broke up with her after 3 days because women are "too much effort", too "expensive", and keep trying to make him "do things." Unbelievable. Three days with a woman turned him into a cynical 65 year-old who's been married for 40 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 178

Cheeky

By BurnedByAWaiter - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 624

You deserved it 8 465

Alexa, play "All You Need is Hate" by The Delgados

By Heart broken daddy issues - 07/08/2022 04:00

Today, I learned for the first time it's possible to love your children, but not to like them at all. I learned this from my own dad, who told me he will always love me, but he never really liked me much, so now that I've moved out, he doesn't see much reason for us to see each other anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 140

Musical exploration

By Anonymous - 30/11/2023 07:30

Today, after I tried to create the perfect playlist for a road trip, my music app decided to shuffle exclusively between sea shanties and children's nursery rhymes, turning my drive into a surreal musical adventure that left me questioning the algorithm's sense of humor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 203

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 847

You deserved it 44 046

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 453

You deserved it 2 839

Today, I decided to reach out to someone I'd met randomly. I found them on social media and sent them a message. After telling my SO, he pointed out that that was stalking. I'm a creep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 875

Today, I was in the park making out with a guy I’m seeing when I heard a familiar voice say, “Abby?” It was the guy who was trying to get with me for months but I told him I wasn’t ready for a relationship, rather than tell him that he was too ugly for me. If looks could kill… FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 996

Today, my brother wore a T-shirt to my birthday party that said "I dig skinny chicks". I'm a recovering anorexic and told him that I didn't really like his shirt. His response? "Don't let the liberal media brainwash you into thinking it's OK to be fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 587

You deserved it 5 059

Today, I was writing to my girlfriend on MSN when her roommate answered, "Sorry, this isn't Marie, she's at her boyfriend’s." Really? I've looked everywhere in my apartment, and I can’t find her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 500

You deserved it 4 039