The Top

************************************************************************************************************** Just to make things a little a more clear since I couldn't in the FML: 1. I am not the 70+ year old man from the other FML, although I did laugh at the idea cause of the coincidence LOL 2. I was not leaning over the fence, the fence was my height. I was merely holding the branch with my hand to the right lighting for the image I wanted. 3. I agree, I could've asked permission, but since I was on the road side of the fence, and this fence was at the back of their house, I didn't feel like walking all the way back around the corner to find this house after hiking. For all I know, they probably weren't there. 4. The funniest thing is, they did ask to see my camera and the images, and then just acted like nothing happened. But they did scare the shit out of me because I had my iPod headphones in and didn't hear them approach me and call me from their vehicle. 5. Lastly, F*CK THE POLICE! No, I'm just kidding :P They had the right I guess, but man was that embarasing. **************************************************************************************************************

Stuck together

By Anonymous - 11/12/2020 08:02 - United States - Wynnewood

Today, my mother is acting pissy because I poured my drink out on our front lawn. Apparently, this was, "ridiculous and embarrassing." Meanwhile, COVID is surging and it looks like I'll be quarantining with her. Kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 1 151

By Anonymous - 21/11/2010 05:39 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that if you're going to pour bleach on bugs to kill them, you need to be prepared for them to fly up and try to attack your face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 650

You deserved it 38 477

Trading places

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend who trained me at the job we both work at received a promotion, which left a spot for advancement. I was chosen for the position, and now the guy she's been cheating on me with is training me. Congrats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 137

So romantic

By Anonymous - 12/07/2013 16:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to let me know that she almost left me for another guy not so long ago, because he was more handsome and talented than me. The reason she didn't leave, "He's out of my league; you're not." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 236

You deserved it 4 399

By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 19:38 - United States

Today, after three weeks of my boss telling me how much he appreciates my hard work and has submitted my name up for a promotion, he called me into his office to announce I'm being laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 197

You deserved it 2 358

Was it worth it?

By Jake - 15/10/2024 16:00 - United States - Glastonbury

Today, I went to the orthopedist resulting from an incident last Sunday during a baseball game. After crushing a hit into right field, I slid into second base, making it thankfully, toppling over the base. The orthopedist needs a STAT MRI about a possible torn ACL and a possible torn MCL. We also lost 22-1. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 147

Panic

By Danger Dave - 21/12/2020 04:58

Today, it's been almost 24 hours since my wife bent down and couldn't get back up. After laying in bed all day in agony with a bad back, an ambulance was called. She still currently can't stand in the hospital. I have two kids to look after and am supposed to be in work tomorrow. I have no idea what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 562

Going going gone

By Anonymous - 11/03/2022 06:00 - Germany

Today, I found some nice shirts on sale. As the prices were only valid for a few more days, I ordered them quickly. They didn’t lie about the prices changing, they just didn't mention that everything would actually be even cheaper than it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 189

New life

By Anonymous - 27/12/2020 17:04 - Germany

Today, after losing my job, my apartment and my man, I had to move back in with my mom, at 37. She’s a total slob; I can’t function without clean, organized spaces. So, hey, at least I have a new full-time job now: cleaning up after her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 200

You must conform!

By a disabled man with big hands - 24/05/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, my boss got mad at me for not wearing the gloves I'm provided at work. They're way too small, not to mention the fact that I have a disability which makes it even harder to put them on. What do you expect me to do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 185

Big boss man

By Anonymous - 26/12/2020 10:58

Today, I have a doctor’s note confirming that I'm high risk for Covid and should only work from home. My boss still demands I come to the office, even though the only person I meet there is the guy who sterilizes the door handles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 269

Birthday girl

By Lisa - 27/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Hollywood

Today, a client refused to pay for the nails I spent nearly three hours doing, because apparently it's her birthday and "you don't pay for birthday nails." She refused to pay, and we locked her inside the salon. She threw a bitch fit and rolled on the ground like a worm, kicking and screaming until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 73

By im_not_me - 09/12/2009 12:31 - Australia

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on Facebook. She's in the forces, and it was her birthday. I asked her if she liked the flowers I sent her. She thanked me, then asked if she could remove our relationship status. When I asked why, she said, "It's not like we're really going out anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 496

You deserved it 2 744

Under pressure

By Yudith - 23/10/2024 15:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, my colleague came back from vacation so I no longer have to do her job on top of mine. My bosses saw this as the perfect occasion to barge into my office every five minutes to hand me tasks. When I asked for a ten-minute break to do a task that needed concentration, they barged in again after five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 97

I got lamped

By Anonymous - 31/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out that all the allegations made against my father were false. I tried to apologize for not standing by him, but he punched me in the face and told me that he hated me. My nose is broken. I won't press charges because I know I deserve it, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 468

Hey big spender!

By Haley - 28/10/2024 03:00 - United States - Great Bend

Today, I opened some junk mail addressed to my fiancé and saw a credit letter about applying for a new mortgage. When I called to tell him his identity was stolen, he admitted he bought a house, and then broke up with me. I had no clue he was unhappy. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 151

By ihateguys - 26/09/2014 19:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 007

You deserved it 4 013

By Itstrickyyxx - 25/07/2012 18:08 - United States - Erie

Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 577

You deserved it 3 170

Itstrickyyxx tells us more.

Itstrickyyxx 6

Tuesday 19 February 2013 21:36

OP here again. Wow i haven't been on this site in forever. I can't even see him every month now, I see him every few months, and of course, ALWAYS ON MY PERIOD. That's life I suppose. And no I can't do birth control to EVERYONE who said it, all kinds effected me badly! :)

By looke27 - 13/11/2010 07:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 328

You deserved it 37 646